fic: You were always more than a friend
Title: You were always more than a friend
Pairing: J2, non-AU
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3 100
Summary: Total and utter schoomp! It'll probably rot your teeth!
Sometimes, when Jensen is sleepy or drunk, he tells Jared he loves him back. And Jared knows it’s true and he will smile and hug Jensen tight and cuddle him and then Jensen makes a gay remark, because someone has to do it, and it’s Jensen’s job.
Warnings: No warnings! It's a happy, happy little fic! Oh well, there is a Grey's Anatomy reference. If that should be counted as a warning. Also I ignore a whole lot of things that have actually happened.
Disclaimer: This is not real. As far as I know, none of this has ever happened. No harm intended!
Jared knows a lot about Jensen. He’s never known anyone like he knows Jensen, thoroughly and still comfortably. He thinks he knows almost every damn thing concerning Jensen, like that he doesn’t eat certain flavors of ice cream, and that he’s never going to get married with his girlfriend, and that he’s gayer than a gay man but still not gay.
They’re all very good information, useful. From time to time Jared will buy only chocolate ice cream because he knows Jensen loves it, and because Jensen will smile at him eyes wrinkling from the corners and mouth twisting, mocking but perfect.
And it’s very good to know Jensen isn’t gay. Otherwise things would’ve become at least a little awkward by now, because Jensen is gorgeous. And it’s not just that, because Jensen is also funny, smart, and he understands Jared.
There are many people who don’t understand Jared, like, at all. They just won’t get what it’s like to not get candy, or why it’s so important to beat Jensen in Guitar Hero, or why Jared just has to speak to Jensen for at least an hour per day, even when they aren’t in the same town.
Jared doesn’t think any of those things are too complicated to understand. Candy keeps him sane and his energy levels up, and beating Jensen in Guitar Hero means getting a cooked meal.
When they both have a day off, they usually sleep in, and once they’re both up they will either work out in the garage or play Guitar Hero. They choose the latter one most of the time, basically because Jensen is lazy and Jared likes him all skinny anyway (… and who is he even kidding - he would like Jensen if he suddenly realized he was a woman, cut his dick off and started eating hormones). Dragging Jensen to lift some weights has its perks, though. Jensen is totally hot when he’s a little sweaty.
Anyway, winning Jensen in Guitar Hero is lots of fun, too. Jared will jump a little around the room and Jensen will give him the ‘are you serious’ -look of his and then Jared will slouch down on the couch or wrestle Jensen down on the floor and tell him he owes Jared a dinner now. And Jensen will laugh and roll his eyes or both and eventually go to the kitchen and make him a meal.
Jared will wait maybe fifteen minutes before he’ll go and give Jensen a hand.
When Jensen wins (which hardly ever happens anyway, as far as Jared is concerned), he’ll be all smug and cool about it. He'll pat Jared on the chest and Jared then goes to the kitchen without another word and tries to make a dinner out of what they have in the fridge at the moment. He knows Jensen will come and help him after a few minutes of victory, but sometimes Jared can’t wait and drags Jensen to keep him company, intentionally ruining his triumph.
So it’s obviously no wonder why Jared’s so keen to win. Also what comes to having to talk to Jensen at least an hour per day on the phone if they’re separated, probably a lot more, there’s a simple explanation for that. Jensen is like another half of Jared, and Jared can’t do any decisions without asking Jensen first, and talking through the phone makes it a hell of a lot faster and easier than for example mailing him.
Many people don’t get these arguments at all. Jared thinks they must be at least a little stupid.
Jensen, though. Jensen brings him candy when he goes to the supermarket, and buys him the beer he likes, and if Jared’s been out drinking with his other friends, Jensen will make him coffee and dry sandwiches in the morning. He will also let Jared’s dogs out and bring them back in and feed them and play with them for him.
Jensen always gets his jokes and when Jared talks so fast no one else knows what he is even talking about, Jensen replies sarcastically or punches him or just gives him the kind of look that tells Jared what he’s thinking.
Basically, Jensen is awesome, and Jared must be the luckiest guy on earth to have met him. If Jared gets tense, he only has to ask and Jensen will give him massages. It’s not as gay as it sounds, but it feels good, and Jensen is never at all awkward about it. It’s just another thing between them, like the hugging that happens at least five times a day or more, especially if they’re out drinking together.
Jared knows Jensen is kind of shy in public but he also knows Jensen isn’t shy with him. Jensen doesn’t have a large personal space around Jared and he always wraps his arms around Jared’s back when Jared hugs him. Jensen might even snuggle a little to his neck and smell him, which is something his other friends never do to him. Neither do they always hug Jared back; most of the time the people Jared hugs just push him away and make a comment.
Jensen is sometimes cranky and wired, but he never brings it on Jared, and Jared loves the fact that he can always make Jensen laugh. And when Jared is the really tired one, just snapping his replies if someone dares to talk to him, Jensen will touch him lightly - a pump on the arm, shoulder to shoulder or thigh to thigh on the couch - and say “Ain’t you grumpy,” and Jared will laugh and tell Jensen he isn’t Dean.
So yeah, Jared loves Jensen. A lot.
He lets Jensen know that about twice a week, sometimes more, because he loves the way Jensen reacts to that. A startle, a smile, a comment on how gay Jared is, a look or a touch or both, and it’s good, and it always makes Jared smile.
Sometimes when Jensen is sleepy or drunk, he tells Jared he loves him back. And Jared knows it’s true and he will smile and hug Jensen tight and cuddle him and then Jensen makes a gay remark, because someone has to do it, and it’s Jensen’s job.
Sometimes Jared reads fanfiction about Jensen and him. He knows it’s a fire proof way to make Jensen tense and edgy, so he picks up a few good lines every now and then and quotes them to Jensen when the moment is right. Jensen will either glare at him or hit him. Jared figures Jensen doesn’t appreciate the imagination of the fans.
Jared doesn’t think that far. The mental images fanfiction gives him are great. And hot. Sometimes he jerks off hard and rough after he’s been reading it and then goes to Jensen cheeks flushed and tells him he’s all relieved now. And Jensen will sneer, tell him he’s disgusting and give him apple juice and talk about the news. Jared will mostly stare at the freckles splayed across Jensen’s cheeks and the curve of his lips.
Jared knows the best time telling Jensen awkward things is when they’re either sugar high, tired or drunk. He told Jensen he broke up with Sandy after they had laughed so much Jensen had actually cried. Jensen had choked down his laughter and looked at Jared all worried, and Jared had promised he was okay. Jensen had just simply nodded and hugged him.
It had been one of the rare times Jensen had hugged him, and not the other way around. It had been warm and soft, kind of careful. Very in-character of Jensen, Jared had thought.
*
So now, they’re splayed out on Jared’s couch, and Jensen’s talking something but Jared isn’t really listening. Instead he’s downing his beers like he’s going to die if he doesn’t get drunk fast. Jensen gives him a weird look every now and then, but Jared just smirks and orders Jensen to get drunk too so they can be drunk together, and Jensen says that it’s a great idea because then they can also puke in their mouths and choke to death together.
It isn’t even funny but Jared laughs, nudges Jensen’s foot with his own and watches with interest as Jensen closes his lips around his beer bottle.
After half an hour Jared realizes this is one of those nights when he just has to pour his heart out to Jensen and confess his love over and over again. He sighs but decides to go with his destiny, because there’s nothing he can do about it anyway. Some great philosopher said that once. Jared can’t remember who, but since he definitely was a philosopher, he had to be right.
So when Jensen scoots a little closer to him on the couch about an hour later and whines that it’s cold in their apartment and asks why Jared doesn’t just turn the heat up and points out that it’s not Jensen’s fault Jared sweats even while Jensen himself is freezing to death, Jared wraps both arms around Jensen and breathes him in and asks if it’s better now.
But Jensen isn’t drunk enough and he pulls away after a second or two, claiming that he doesn’t want sweat on him whatsoever, so Jared hands him another bottle of beer and tells him to “stop fucking whining, bitch.”
Jensen smiles and stays close to Jared, even though there’d be plenty of room for him to shift away if he wanted to.
After another hour or so, Jared decides to try again and pulls Jensen in, chest to chest, pressing circles to Jensen’s back. Jensen giggles, and Jared doesn’t think much anymore.
“I love you,” he says, like he has said so many times before.
“I know,” Jensen says, or drunken mumbles, and rocks them sidewards. Jared keeps his hold on Jensen and adds:
“No, I love you. You’re just so funny, and you get me, and you light up my days and -“
“Is this Days of Our Lives?” Jensen wonders, a low whisper right beside Jared’s ear.
“ - and I just love you, you know? You’re like my…person. You’re my person.” Jared moves his hand to rub just under Jensen’s hairline.
“I was wrong. This is Grey’s Anatomy. I told you not to watch it, asshat,” Jensen mocks and spreads a few inches of space between them.
“Jeff was on it! I had to,” Jared insists and watches as Jensen’s brow quirks. Then Jared understands something and he smirks, placing a palm on Jensen’s shoulder. “Besides, you knew the person thing, so you’ve been watching it, too!”
“Danneel watched it, not me,” Jensen says dryly.
Jared rolls his eyes. “Right,” he says, pulling Jensen back to him. “Even though you’re a total dumbass, I still love you.”
“Love you too, Jay,” Jensen says quietly.
That’s the last thing Jared can remember when he wakes up the next morning. He startles when he realizes Jensen’s sleeping with him and that they’re still on the couch. It’s totally awkward and Jared’s head aches and he doesn’t think Jensen is in the condition to make him breakfast this time.
So he gets up, careful not to wake Jensen and makes coffee, takes Tylenol and goes to the other side of the sofa, trying to catch a little sleep. It’s hard because Jensen keeps making these little noises like he’s either hurt or turned on and it’s really distracting.
So he kicks Jensen, mutters, “Shut up, Ackles,” and Jensen opens his eyes, squints to the light and grunts low from his throat.
“Morning,” he says softly and wide-eyed, and he looks absolutely adorable like that, nothing like Jared who knows he looks like shit.
“Well hi,” Jared says, “there’s coffee in the kitchen.”
“I love you,” Jensen says and then awkwardly pauses. Jared just smirks. The day seems so much better already.
“I know,” Jared grins. “You told me last night.”
Surprisingly, that makes Jensen startle. His eyes go even wider and he looks very confused, still kind of pretty, though, his hair a sweet mess falling down to his forehead.
“Uh,” he says, “I told you, what?”
“You told me that you loved me, and that you’re totally hot and gay for me, Ackles,” Jared beams, because that’s what he does. He cracks about eleven thousand gay-Jensen jokes per day, nothing unusual about it. Normally Jensen doesn’t react to any of them.
“Huh.” Jensen says and looks a little like he’s going to start crying, which in itself really isn’t anything new, but Jared thinks he probably caused this and feels guilty, even though he doesn’t know why Jensen is acting like this. It’s strange and it makes him feel really unsettled.
“Well umm,” Jensen speaks then, before Jared can start apologizing, “how do you feel about it? I mean, are we okay?”
“Huh?” Jared asks because he thinks he totally lost something here. “What?”
Jensen’s lips tighten and it’s never a good sign. Jared tries hopelessly to make sense out of the situation, and decides whatever the thing going on here is, it has to be okay. Everything is always okay between them, more than so.
“Of course it’s okay,” Jared says, “more than okay, Jensen, you know that.”
“Do I?” Jensen mumbles and Jared can’t really reply because he doesn’t know what he is talking about. He rewinds the discussion in his head.
“Are you gay for me?” Jared blurts after a moment.
Jensen stills. “If that’s the way you have to put it, then yes, I guess,” he says quietly, like he’s admitting a huge weakness.
“Oh my god,” Jared says and runs his hands through his hair. He’d pictured this moment so many times. In none of those they'd been hangover. In his scenarios Jensen hadn't been the one telling him either, it'd been the other way around.
He'd always pictured Jensen looking at him after Jared had told him, a little troubled and confused, pretty eyes blinking, and then leaning down to kiss Jared tentatively. Jared had always thought he would grab Jensen’s face then, pull him down strongly to press hard against his lips, and suck at Jensen's bottom lip.
He had pictured Jensen climbing to his lap, grinding down slow but content and full of confidence. He'd imagined Jensen’s touches soft, admiring, and his mouth hot and perfect.
“Jay?” Jensen asks quietly and Jared blinks himself out of his thoughts. Jensen looks lost, and hurt, and nothing like Jared had pictured. “Jay I’m sorry,” Jensen says and stands up, waves a hand before Jared can say anything.
“Sorry that I feel about you this way. I’m sure you’re thinking now that I’ve used you, enjoyed too much being close to you, and it’s fine if you’re pissed, I deserve it. I never wanted it to come out, Jay, I promise, and I wish I could say it was just a drunk talk but…”
Jared shakes his head strongly. “Jensen…” he trails off, unable to form words. He doesn’t like the way this discussion is going, but his head fucking aches and he has a hard time concentrating on anything right now.
“I just hope, that one day, we can be friends again,” Jensen says and takes a step away from Jared.
Jared finally catches up with the situation. Damn hangover, making his functions and brain all slow. He feels like Homer Simpson in that one episode of the Simpsons where the guy found himself still thinking about a donut in the middle of the night in his garage, when everyone else had already gone home. Although the whole subject Lenny and Homer were talking about was totally boring, so no wonder Homer found the donut more interesting. Jared likes donuts too. Chocolate donuts are especially good, and Jensen likes them too so it’s no waste to buy them…
Jared snaps out his thoughts. What is it with him today?
He catches Jensen in the hallway, tears covering his stupidly beautiful face.
“Wait man, wait,” Jared says and grabs Jensen’s arm. “We got this all wrong here; come on,” he says, “don’t go. I need to tell you something. I just need a little bit of time and maybe a beer to stabilize me.” He smiles and pulls Jensen along with him.
Jensen gives him a look and sobs. Jared rubs his arm comfortingly and whispers: “Man, stop crying, you misunderstood me.”
“How? Your opinion was pretty clear, dude.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “Like this,” he says and grabs Jensen’s face, pulling it close to his and smacking his lips against Jensen’s roughly, nothing tentative or sweet about it. Their teeth cling together and Jensen inhales sharply, tensing and trying to pull away.
Jared keeps him in place, breathing over Jensen’s lips and having a moment of concentration.
Then he takes a fresh start, kisses Jensen light and sweet, and groans when Jensen doesn’t kiss him back.
“Man,” he protests, wanting to finally taste Jensen, “come on.”
“Jared…” Jensen mumbles, his eyes tearing up again and Jared grunts.
“Don’t you dare to cry when I’m kissing you!” he snaps, and bites at Jensen’s bottom lip. “Don’t you dare.”
Jensen smiles at that, opens his mouth a little and places his hands on Jared’s hips.
“Really?” he asks slowly, and it’s just a word but it means so much Jared’s heart aches.
“Really, dumbass.”
Jensen kisses him then, soft and tentative, a little careful. Jared grabs his face and pulls him in tight, kissing him with all of his worth. Jensen whimpers and tries to touch him all around, and then finally shoves his thigh between Jared’s legs.
It’s exactly as Jared had imagined, except so much better, because it’s Jensen, and it’s them, and it feels so good and right and Jared thinks it might become addictive soon enough.
It's then that Jared realizes he doesn’t know everything about Jensen.
He can’t predict how their sex is going to be - aside from the fact that it just has to be amazing - he doesn’t know if Jensen will cuddle him after, he doesn’t know what it’s like to wake up curled around Jensen - well he doesn’t know what it’s like when they’re both naked, anyway (he kind of spooned Jensen in his sleep once). Naked is the new, unknown part.
And the most importantly, he can’t tell if Jensen wants to spend the rest of his life with Jared.
Jared can’t wait to start finding out.
Comments, criticism? Everything is welcomed and loved! ♥
Pairing: J2, non-AU
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 3 100
Summary: Total and utter schoomp! It'll probably rot your teeth!
Sometimes, when Jensen is sleepy or drunk, he tells Jared he loves him back. And Jared knows it’s true and he will smile and hug Jensen tight and cuddle him and then Jensen makes a gay remark, because someone has to do it, and it’s Jensen’s job.
Warnings: No warnings! It's a happy, happy little fic! Oh well, there is a Grey's Anatomy reference. If that should be counted as a warning. Also I ignore a whole lot of things that have actually happened.
Disclaimer: This is not real. As far as I know, none of this has ever happened. No harm intended!
Jared knows a lot about Jensen. He’s never known anyone like he knows Jensen, thoroughly and still comfortably. He thinks he knows almost every damn thing concerning Jensen, like that he doesn’t eat certain flavors of ice cream, and that he’s never going to get married with his girlfriend, and that he’s gayer than a gay man but still not gay.
They’re all very good information, useful. From time to time Jared will buy only chocolate ice cream because he knows Jensen loves it, and because Jensen will smile at him eyes wrinkling from the corners and mouth twisting, mocking but perfect.
And it’s very good to know Jensen isn’t gay. Otherwise things would’ve become at least a little awkward by now, because Jensen is gorgeous. And it’s not just that, because Jensen is also funny, smart, and he understands Jared.
There are many people who don’t understand Jared, like, at all. They just won’t get what it’s like to not get candy, or why it’s so important to beat Jensen in Guitar Hero, or why Jared just has to speak to Jensen for at least an hour per day, even when they aren’t in the same town.
Jared doesn’t think any of those things are too complicated to understand. Candy keeps him sane and his energy levels up, and beating Jensen in Guitar Hero means getting a cooked meal.
When they both have a day off, they usually sleep in, and once they’re both up they will either work out in the garage or play Guitar Hero. They choose the latter one most of the time, basically because Jensen is lazy and Jared likes him all skinny anyway (… and who is he even kidding - he would like Jensen if he suddenly realized he was a woman, cut his dick off and started eating hormones). Dragging Jensen to lift some weights has its perks, though. Jensen is totally hot when he’s a little sweaty.
Anyway, winning Jensen in Guitar Hero is lots of fun, too. Jared will jump a little around the room and Jensen will give him the ‘are you serious’ -look of his and then Jared will slouch down on the couch or wrestle Jensen down on the floor and tell him he owes Jared a dinner now. And Jensen will laugh and roll his eyes or both and eventually go to the kitchen and make him a meal.
Jared will wait maybe fifteen minutes before he’ll go and give Jensen a hand.
When Jensen wins (which hardly ever happens anyway, as far as Jared is concerned), he’ll be all smug and cool about it. He'll pat Jared on the chest and Jared then goes to the kitchen without another word and tries to make a dinner out of what they have in the fridge at the moment. He knows Jensen will come and help him after a few minutes of victory, but sometimes Jared can’t wait and drags Jensen to keep him company, intentionally ruining his triumph.
So it’s obviously no wonder why Jared’s so keen to win. Also what comes to having to talk to Jensen at least an hour per day on the phone if they’re separated, probably a lot more, there’s a simple explanation for that. Jensen is like another half of Jared, and Jared can’t do any decisions without asking Jensen first, and talking through the phone makes it a hell of a lot faster and easier than for example mailing him.
Many people don’t get these arguments at all. Jared thinks they must be at least a little stupid.
Jensen, though. Jensen brings him candy when he goes to the supermarket, and buys him the beer he likes, and if Jared’s been out drinking with his other friends, Jensen will make him coffee and dry sandwiches in the morning. He will also let Jared’s dogs out and bring them back in and feed them and play with them for him.
Jensen always gets his jokes and when Jared talks so fast no one else knows what he is even talking about, Jensen replies sarcastically or punches him or just gives him the kind of look that tells Jared what he’s thinking.
Basically, Jensen is awesome, and Jared must be the luckiest guy on earth to have met him. If Jared gets tense, he only has to ask and Jensen will give him massages. It’s not as gay as it sounds, but it feels good, and Jensen is never at all awkward about it. It’s just another thing between them, like the hugging that happens at least five times a day or more, especially if they’re out drinking together.
Jared knows Jensen is kind of shy in public but he also knows Jensen isn’t shy with him. Jensen doesn’t have a large personal space around Jared and he always wraps his arms around Jared’s back when Jared hugs him. Jensen might even snuggle a little to his neck and smell him, which is something his other friends never do to him. Neither do they always hug Jared back; most of the time the people Jared hugs just push him away and make a comment.
Jensen is sometimes cranky and wired, but he never brings it on Jared, and Jared loves the fact that he can always make Jensen laugh. And when Jared is the really tired one, just snapping his replies if someone dares to talk to him, Jensen will touch him lightly - a pump on the arm, shoulder to shoulder or thigh to thigh on the couch - and say “Ain’t you grumpy,” and Jared will laugh and tell Jensen he isn’t Dean.
So yeah, Jared loves Jensen. A lot.
He lets Jensen know that about twice a week, sometimes more, because he loves the way Jensen reacts to that. A startle, a smile, a comment on how gay Jared is, a look or a touch or both, and it’s good, and it always makes Jared smile.
Sometimes when Jensen is sleepy or drunk, he tells Jared he loves him back. And Jared knows it’s true and he will smile and hug Jensen tight and cuddle him and then Jensen makes a gay remark, because someone has to do it, and it’s Jensen’s job.
Sometimes Jared reads fanfiction about Jensen and him. He knows it’s a fire proof way to make Jensen tense and edgy, so he picks up a few good lines every now and then and quotes them to Jensen when the moment is right. Jensen will either glare at him or hit him. Jared figures Jensen doesn’t appreciate the imagination of the fans.
Jared doesn’t think that far. The mental images fanfiction gives him are great. And hot. Sometimes he jerks off hard and rough after he’s been reading it and then goes to Jensen cheeks flushed and tells him he’s all relieved now. And Jensen will sneer, tell him he’s disgusting and give him apple juice and talk about the news. Jared will mostly stare at the freckles splayed across Jensen’s cheeks and the curve of his lips.
Jared knows the best time telling Jensen awkward things is when they’re either sugar high, tired or drunk. He told Jensen he broke up with Sandy after they had laughed so much Jensen had actually cried. Jensen had choked down his laughter and looked at Jared all worried, and Jared had promised he was okay. Jensen had just simply nodded and hugged him.
It had been one of the rare times Jensen had hugged him, and not the other way around. It had been warm and soft, kind of careful. Very in-character of Jensen, Jared had thought.
*
So now, they’re splayed out on Jared’s couch, and Jensen’s talking something but Jared isn’t really listening. Instead he’s downing his beers like he’s going to die if he doesn’t get drunk fast. Jensen gives him a weird look every now and then, but Jared just smirks and orders Jensen to get drunk too so they can be drunk together, and Jensen says that it’s a great idea because then they can also puke in their mouths and choke to death together.
It isn’t even funny but Jared laughs, nudges Jensen’s foot with his own and watches with interest as Jensen closes his lips around his beer bottle.
After half an hour Jared realizes this is one of those nights when he just has to pour his heart out to Jensen and confess his love over and over again. He sighs but decides to go with his destiny, because there’s nothing he can do about it anyway. Some great philosopher said that once. Jared can’t remember who, but since he definitely was a philosopher, he had to be right.
So when Jensen scoots a little closer to him on the couch about an hour later and whines that it’s cold in their apartment and asks why Jared doesn’t just turn the heat up and points out that it’s not Jensen’s fault Jared sweats even while Jensen himself is freezing to death, Jared wraps both arms around Jensen and breathes him in and asks if it’s better now.
But Jensen isn’t drunk enough and he pulls away after a second or two, claiming that he doesn’t want sweat on him whatsoever, so Jared hands him another bottle of beer and tells him to “stop fucking whining, bitch.”
Jensen smiles and stays close to Jared, even though there’d be plenty of room for him to shift away if he wanted to.
After another hour or so, Jared decides to try again and pulls Jensen in, chest to chest, pressing circles to Jensen’s back. Jensen giggles, and Jared doesn’t think much anymore.
“I love you,” he says, like he has said so many times before.
“I know,” Jensen says, or drunken mumbles, and rocks them sidewards. Jared keeps his hold on Jensen and adds:
“No, I love you. You’re just so funny, and you get me, and you light up my days and -“
“Is this Days of Our Lives?” Jensen wonders, a low whisper right beside Jared’s ear.
“ - and I just love you, you know? You’re like my…person. You’re my person.” Jared moves his hand to rub just under Jensen’s hairline.
“I was wrong. This is Grey’s Anatomy. I told you not to watch it, asshat,” Jensen mocks and spreads a few inches of space between them.
“Jeff was on it! I had to,” Jared insists and watches as Jensen’s brow quirks. Then Jared understands something and he smirks, placing a palm on Jensen’s shoulder. “Besides, you knew the person thing, so you’ve been watching it, too!”
“Danneel watched it, not me,” Jensen says dryly.
Jared rolls his eyes. “Right,” he says, pulling Jensen back to him. “Even though you’re a total dumbass, I still love you.”
“Love you too, Jay,” Jensen says quietly.
That’s the last thing Jared can remember when he wakes up the next morning. He startles when he realizes Jensen’s sleeping with him and that they’re still on the couch. It’s totally awkward and Jared’s head aches and he doesn’t think Jensen is in the condition to make him breakfast this time.
So he gets up, careful not to wake Jensen and makes coffee, takes Tylenol and goes to the other side of the sofa, trying to catch a little sleep. It’s hard because Jensen keeps making these little noises like he’s either hurt or turned on and it’s really distracting.
So he kicks Jensen, mutters, “Shut up, Ackles,” and Jensen opens his eyes, squints to the light and grunts low from his throat.
“Morning,” he says softly and wide-eyed, and he looks absolutely adorable like that, nothing like Jared who knows he looks like shit.
“Well hi,” Jared says, “there’s coffee in the kitchen.”
“I love you,” Jensen says and then awkwardly pauses. Jared just smirks. The day seems so much better already.
“I know,” Jared grins. “You told me last night.”
Surprisingly, that makes Jensen startle. His eyes go even wider and he looks very confused, still kind of pretty, though, his hair a sweet mess falling down to his forehead.
“Uh,” he says, “I told you, what?”
“You told me that you loved me, and that you’re totally hot and gay for me, Ackles,” Jared beams, because that’s what he does. He cracks about eleven thousand gay-Jensen jokes per day, nothing unusual about it. Normally Jensen doesn’t react to any of them.
“Huh.” Jensen says and looks a little like he’s going to start crying, which in itself really isn’t anything new, but Jared thinks he probably caused this and feels guilty, even though he doesn’t know why Jensen is acting like this. It’s strange and it makes him feel really unsettled.
“Well umm,” Jensen speaks then, before Jared can start apologizing, “how do you feel about it? I mean, are we okay?”
“Huh?” Jared asks because he thinks he totally lost something here. “What?”
Jensen’s lips tighten and it’s never a good sign. Jared tries hopelessly to make sense out of the situation, and decides whatever the thing going on here is, it has to be okay. Everything is always okay between them, more than so.
“Of course it’s okay,” Jared says, “more than okay, Jensen, you know that.”
“Do I?” Jensen mumbles and Jared can’t really reply because he doesn’t know what he is talking about. He rewinds the discussion in his head.
“Are you gay for me?” Jared blurts after a moment.
Jensen stills. “If that’s the way you have to put it, then yes, I guess,” he says quietly, like he’s admitting a huge weakness.
“Oh my god,” Jared says and runs his hands through his hair. He’d pictured this moment so many times. In none of those they'd been hangover. In his scenarios Jensen hadn't been the one telling him either, it'd been the other way around.
He'd always pictured Jensen looking at him after Jared had told him, a little troubled and confused, pretty eyes blinking, and then leaning down to kiss Jared tentatively. Jared had always thought he would grab Jensen’s face then, pull him down strongly to press hard against his lips, and suck at Jensen's bottom lip.
He had pictured Jensen climbing to his lap, grinding down slow but content and full of confidence. He'd imagined Jensen’s touches soft, admiring, and his mouth hot and perfect.
“Jay?” Jensen asks quietly and Jared blinks himself out of his thoughts. Jensen looks lost, and hurt, and nothing like Jared had pictured. “Jay I’m sorry,” Jensen says and stands up, waves a hand before Jared can say anything.
“Sorry that I feel about you this way. I’m sure you’re thinking now that I’ve used you, enjoyed too much being close to you, and it’s fine if you’re pissed, I deserve it. I never wanted it to come out, Jay, I promise, and I wish I could say it was just a drunk talk but…”
Jared shakes his head strongly. “Jensen…” he trails off, unable to form words. He doesn’t like the way this discussion is going, but his head fucking aches and he has a hard time concentrating on anything right now.
“I just hope, that one day, we can be friends again,” Jensen says and takes a step away from Jared.
Jared finally catches up with the situation. Damn hangover, making his functions and brain all slow. He feels like Homer Simpson in that one episode of the Simpsons where the guy found himself still thinking about a donut in the middle of the night in his garage, when everyone else had already gone home. Although the whole subject Lenny and Homer were talking about was totally boring, so no wonder Homer found the donut more interesting. Jared likes donuts too. Chocolate donuts are especially good, and Jensen likes them too so it’s no waste to buy them…
Jared snaps out his thoughts. What is it with him today?
He catches Jensen in the hallway, tears covering his stupidly beautiful face.
“Wait man, wait,” Jared says and grabs Jensen’s arm. “We got this all wrong here; come on,” he says, “don’t go. I need to tell you something. I just need a little bit of time and maybe a beer to stabilize me.” He smiles and pulls Jensen along with him.
Jensen gives him a look and sobs. Jared rubs his arm comfortingly and whispers: “Man, stop crying, you misunderstood me.”
“How? Your opinion was pretty clear, dude.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “Like this,” he says and grabs Jensen’s face, pulling it close to his and smacking his lips against Jensen’s roughly, nothing tentative or sweet about it. Their teeth cling together and Jensen inhales sharply, tensing and trying to pull away.
Jared keeps him in place, breathing over Jensen’s lips and having a moment of concentration.
Then he takes a fresh start, kisses Jensen light and sweet, and groans when Jensen doesn’t kiss him back.
“Man,” he protests, wanting to finally taste Jensen, “come on.”
“Jared…” Jensen mumbles, his eyes tearing up again and Jared grunts.
“Don’t you dare to cry when I’m kissing you!” he snaps, and bites at Jensen’s bottom lip. “Don’t you dare.”
Jensen smiles at that, opens his mouth a little and places his hands on Jared’s hips.
“Really?” he asks slowly, and it’s just a word but it means so much Jared’s heart aches.
“Really, dumbass.”
Jensen kisses him then, soft and tentative, a little careful. Jared grabs his face and pulls him in tight, kissing him with all of his worth. Jensen whimpers and tries to touch him all around, and then finally shoves his thigh between Jared’s legs.
It’s exactly as Jared had imagined, except so much better, because it’s Jensen, and it’s them, and it feels so good and right and Jared thinks it might become addictive soon enough.
It's then that Jared realizes he doesn’t know everything about Jensen.
He can’t predict how their sex is going to be - aside from the fact that it just has to be amazing - he doesn’t know if Jensen will cuddle him after, he doesn’t know what it’s like to wake up curled around Jensen - well he doesn’t know what it’s like when they’re both naked, anyway (he kind of spooned Jensen in his sleep once). Naked is the new, unknown part.
And the most importantly, he can’t tell if Jensen wants to spend the rest of his life with Jared.
Jared can’t wait to start finding out.
Comments, criticism? Everything is welcomed and loved! ♥