bitching.
so i TOLD myself tonight i would clean my room, brainstorm on my metals project, silk screen and even watch dirty dancing. but all i managed to do was tidy up my room. i feel like i'm a zombie. i wake up so early, i go to bed so late. in-between i can't remember what i do. i miss marisa. i miss molly. i miss my mamaw. i meant to call her. i always mean to do them and forget. i get so immersed in my metals that i break off from everyone and just focus on my art. my new family is the studio people. some i love more than anything, some get on my nerves. and i miss people. i don't get to go out as much. but i can't complain so much.
i hate, though, my writing class. my ambition is to be a writer. but that class has totally taken all excitement out of me. i don't feel like writing 'how to's' about people, i don't want to write about the most beautiful place i've ever been. that's not the writing i do. my teacher does not give us enough time to get something going. two pages isn't enough. one draft isn't enough. of course it's not going to be great. and of course we don't discuss our papers. we read them in groups. "oh good description." "yeah you had great detail here." that does not help me improve. WHY was it good? was my dialogue lacking? did i detail too much? all we do in that class is discuss OTHER writer's works, which i am not opposed to but i am opposed to spending the whole class period deciding whether this writer actually wrote a non fiction piece. i don't think it matters. so we should just get over it. a good story is a good story. it's the prose that intrigues me. not the fact that it was non fiction. don't get me started about the lecture i have to go to tomorrow night at 7 and write a paper on it.
but whatever. i'm not going to stress yet. i've got everything under control so far.
i bought tickets to reggie and the full effect and saves the day today. that makes me a little happier. it's about time i went to a show again.
and i swear, i would seriously fly to vegas to see depeche mode play. i would spend whatever money. i would eat ramen for every meal just to be able to pay for the ticket. there are few things in life that are as special to me as music, specifically, depeche mode. i think there are only 3 (maybe 4) bands i would spend over 100 dollars to see. the cure, depeche (been there, done that), morrissey and maaaybe new order. all of these just because no one knows when the last show will be.
besides listening to depeche and the cure recently, i've enjoyed myself some death from above 1979. they're pretty sweet. and i can't get into the new strokes album. and the pet shop boys are pretty amazing as well.
i should really make some beats on my drum machine this weekend and not delete them. and silk screen shirts. annnnd somehow have fun.
i hate, though, my writing class. my ambition is to be a writer. but that class has totally taken all excitement out of me. i don't feel like writing 'how to's' about people, i don't want to write about the most beautiful place i've ever been. that's not the writing i do. my teacher does not give us enough time to get something going. two pages isn't enough. one draft isn't enough. of course it's not going to be great. and of course we don't discuss our papers. we read them in groups. "oh good description." "yeah you had great detail here." that does not help me improve. WHY was it good? was my dialogue lacking? did i detail too much? all we do in that class is discuss OTHER writer's works, which i am not opposed to but i am opposed to spending the whole class period deciding whether this writer actually wrote a non fiction piece. i don't think it matters. so we should just get over it. a good story is a good story. it's the prose that intrigues me. not the fact that it was non fiction. don't get me started about the lecture i have to go to tomorrow night at 7 and write a paper on it.
but whatever. i'm not going to stress yet. i've got everything under control so far.
i bought tickets to reggie and the full effect and saves the day today. that makes me a little happier. it's about time i went to a show again.
and i swear, i would seriously fly to vegas to see depeche mode play. i would spend whatever money. i would eat ramen for every meal just to be able to pay for the ticket. there are few things in life that are as special to me as music, specifically, depeche mode. i think there are only 3 (maybe 4) bands i would spend over 100 dollars to see. the cure, depeche (been there, done that), morrissey and maaaybe new order. all of these just because no one knows when the last show will be.
besides listening to depeche and the cure recently, i've enjoyed myself some death from above 1979. they're pretty sweet. and i can't get into the new strokes album. and the pet shop boys are pretty amazing as well.
i should really make some beats on my drum machine this weekend and not delete them. and silk screen shirts. annnnd somehow have fun.