(no subject)
ooc: set for last night
Why is it I'm so good at screwing up so very badly?
I don't know what's happening with Eric. Right now..it's nothing. He's been over..what? Four times? How the hell am I supposed to explain what that four times is? I don't want to try and figure it out...talk in circles like with Brian...we're just having a bit of fun. Rebound. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
But yea...I fucked it up. I lied. Or..didn't tell..or lied...because...well I don't know why.
Because that's what I do. I screw up and I disappoint. And mostly when I'm just trying to do something that makes me happy. Maybe everyone just needs to tell me the "right" way to do it. The right way to take a leap, to try it, to rebound. And I should do as told. Because everything I do seems to be the wrong way.
And..lunch with Brian...I don't know what I feel about it. It's not like anything happened or anything is going to happen. It...it was a form of closure after that blowout we had. I don't see that it's any business of Eric's right now, but...as I respect him, I'll tell him. Like Alex wants me to.
Do what I'm told. New motto.
Why is it I'm so good at screwing up so very badly?
I don't know what's happening with Eric. Right now..it's nothing. He's been over..what? Four times? How the hell am I supposed to explain what that four times is? I don't want to try and figure it out...talk in circles like with Brian...we're just having a bit of fun. Rebound. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?
But yea...I fucked it up. I lied. Or..didn't tell..or lied...because...well I don't know why.
Because that's what I do. I screw up and I disappoint. And mostly when I'm just trying to do something that makes me happy. Maybe everyone just needs to tell me the "right" way to do it. The right way to take a leap, to try it, to rebound. And I should do as told. Because everything I do seems to be the wrong way.
And..lunch with Brian...I don't know what I feel about it. It's not like anything happened or anything is going to happen. It...it was a form of closure after that blowout we had. I don't see that it's any business of Eric's right now, but...as I respect him, I'll tell him. Like Alex wants me to.
Do what I'm told. New motto.