Lies, Nightmares
What will I tell Bill? It's in my blood. There was something worrysome in my blood, I'll tell Bill. My thyroid count is too high, I'll tell Bill. My blood is corrupt. My mind is corrupt. The demon, you see, is within me, I'll tell Bill. No need to go anywhere, I'll tell Bill. No need to see anyone, I'll tell Bill. It's all here. It's all within me. I had to go home this weekend, I'll tell Bill. Doctors orders, Bill. There wasn't anything I could do about it. Maybe it won't be lies, I'll tell Bill, but I'll tell Bill, and it'll be the truth. It'll be the truth, I'll tell Bill. But, I know, Bill. Only I know.
I had a nightmare.
I checked Facebook to see that Bekah had changed her relationship status. Instead of reading that we were still together, it had a comment, something along the lines of, "I'll begin to reconsider when you start giving to me." I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where she was. We were together, then, in a room full of circular tables. Most of my friends were there--Bekah included. They were all watching a concert, or a performance of sorts. Jimmy told me monkies were on the way from New York. That frightened me. I wanted to express to Bekah that there was something I could do to save us--that I could give to her. But everybody else was keeping me from her. A large rectangular structure appeared around me, preventing my interaction with anybody outside of it. I could jump and grab the top edges, pulling myself up to look at her before losing my strength after a few seconds. I tore town the walls, somehow not disturbing the performance going around me, nor drawing the attention of the audience full of my friends and peers. I left, visibly upset, hoping that Bekah would follow, concerned. But nobody came.
I wandered through unfamiliar and empty hallways. I was confronted by faceless people. They asked me if I would like do Japanese homework with them. I declined. I didn't want to do homework--I wanted my girlfriend back. I entered a restroom, and a boy was inside. He fell to his hands and knees, lurched his body, and vomited what looked like a 5 foot tower of blue applesauce. He looked at me and smiled. He was very proud of it. His friend came up and complimented the tower. He then did the same, but his was orange, and about 3 feet tall. His friend, too, turned to me and smiled. I walked past them into a bathroom stall, and left shortly thereafter. The boys were gone, as were the towers of mystery substance.
I found Bekah. I asked her about her relationship status. She told me she felt she needed more. She was laying down, with her beautiful body exposed. I was removing clothes from her. I told her I could give her what she wanted. I told her I had everything she could want. She was wearing long stockings and a corsette. She told me that I couldn't do it. She told me there was someone else. I asked her if there was someone else, she answered yes. I asked if I knew them, she said no. She said it was everybody. It was everybody who wasn't me. She was nearly naked. And then gone.
Exploring those empty hallways again, I found myself lost and upset. I climbed up the stairs to find my Education class with my professor lecturing. As I climbed the last step, the ceiling caved in on me, and I hit my head. I passed out, and woke up in my desk. I woke up to my professor telling to the class that Jeff was okay, but had particular emotional needs. You see, he said, Jeff is a sad man. He's a great person, but a sad man. He can't help it. I began to cry. I closed my eyes and hoped there was something else I could do. My class rose and addressed me. They supported me, they told me they understood, and that they hoped for the best. My professor, Stephen, embraced and then kissed me.
I woke up to a voicemail from my brother Kevin and a text message from Bekah. Kevin wants a ride home from Galesburg on Monday. Bekah commented on today's beautiful weather. She also told me she loved me.
My mind is all, my mind is all, my mind is all gone.
I had a nightmare.
I checked Facebook to see that Bekah had changed her relationship status. Instead of reading that we were still together, it had a comment, something along the lines of, "I'll begin to reconsider when you start giving to me." I didn't know what to do. I didn't know where she was. We were together, then, in a room full of circular tables. Most of my friends were there--Bekah included. They were all watching a concert, or a performance of sorts. Jimmy told me monkies were on the way from New York. That frightened me. I wanted to express to Bekah that there was something I could do to save us--that I could give to her. But everybody else was keeping me from her. A large rectangular structure appeared around me, preventing my interaction with anybody outside of it. I could jump and grab the top edges, pulling myself up to look at her before losing my strength after a few seconds. I tore town the walls, somehow not disturbing the performance going around me, nor drawing the attention of the audience full of my friends and peers. I left, visibly upset, hoping that Bekah would follow, concerned. But nobody came.
I wandered through unfamiliar and empty hallways. I was confronted by faceless people. They asked me if I would like do Japanese homework with them. I declined. I didn't want to do homework--I wanted my girlfriend back. I entered a restroom, and a boy was inside. He fell to his hands and knees, lurched his body, and vomited what looked like a 5 foot tower of blue applesauce. He looked at me and smiled. He was very proud of it. His friend came up and complimented the tower. He then did the same, but his was orange, and about 3 feet tall. His friend, too, turned to me and smiled. I walked past them into a bathroom stall, and left shortly thereafter. The boys were gone, as were the towers of mystery substance.
I found Bekah. I asked her about her relationship status. She told me she felt she needed more. She was laying down, with her beautiful body exposed. I was removing clothes from her. I told her I could give her what she wanted. I told her I had everything she could want. She was wearing long stockings and a corsette. She told me that I couldn't do it. She told me there was someone else. I asked her if there was someone else, she answered yes. I asked if I knew them, she said no. She said it was everybody. It was everybody who wasn't me. She was nearly naked. And then gone.
Exploring those empty hallways again, I found myself lost and upset. I climbed up the stairs to find my Education class with my professor lecturing. As I climbed the last step, the ceiling caved in on me, and I hit my head. I passed out, and woke up in my desk. I woke up to my professor telling to the class that Jeff was okay, but had particular emotional needs. You see, he said, Jeff is a sad man. He's a great person, but a sad man. He can't help it. I began to cry. I closed my eyes and hoped there was something else I could do. My class rose and addressed me. They supported me, they told me they understood, and that they hoped for the best. My professor, Stephen, embraced and then kissed me.
I woke up to a voicemail from my brother Kevin and a text message from Bekah. Kevin wants a ride home from Galesburg on Monday. Bekah commented on today's beautiful weather. She also told me she loved me.
My mind is all, my mind is all, my mind is all gone.