i am the ghost writer for the soul of a mercenary.
"i wish i had gotten to you before the chaos," she said.
but the chaos is not only what has taken over, but what is the fuel that lugs the steam of this engine.
without the mayhem i am simple plain and boring. and you know what god does to boring people.
someone asked about regret.
"i regret something every single day," i responded. because every day i miss an opportunity to live harder
fuck better
kiss longer
and rage harder.
theres this gift we all have, despite the card we've been dealt we all sit at the same table.
some play what they have and some ask for forgiveness, and some burn with guilt, and some sit with words on their tongue, and some just don't know what to shut the fuck up.
but we all have it. this gift. and the laziness you project is nothing more than flamboyant arrogance to those who sit and wait for death. to those who are wishing at this very moment for 15 more minutes of life. to use those 15 more passion filled minutes to proclaim their love.
for 15 more minutes to breathe in the exhileration.
you are a fucking arrogant and wasteful human being and i hang my head in shame for the moments you squander and the heart you no longer put to use. i will sit across from you and wonder what happened to your soul.
how it got so black and empty. and i'll watch your mouth move and i'll think only to myself, "i wish you would end it." for me, for you. and for those who you continue to poison with your vile and contemptious existence. because yes, i believe there are people who are better off dead. and yes, i believe that those who squander this gift are beneath those who make the attempt. and yes you will be judged on the life you live, relationships and the respect given to them, and the responsibilities you stand accountable for. and no i do not believe that everyone is inherintly good and to those who know the vigor and urgency of life, thank you for being my inspiration. thank you for letting me take something away from your words and actions.
thank you for being a teacher
thank you for showing me that its more courageous to express love than it is to stand silent
because fuck waiting 3 days to call you back
fuck being embarassed about thinking about you every day
fuck not showing love and interest
fuck not making the first move
fuck not making any moves
fuck holding you back
fuck holding me back
fuck expectations, standards, outdated traditions that no longer apply.
because in my last minutes i refuse to sit in shame over the moments and opportunities i have misused.
i will look down at the racing stripes that cover this battle worn body, and smile. and hope that i've done everything i've done with this animated corpse that god gave me
because you never regret the girls you kiss
you only regret the girls you don't kiss
but the chaos is not only what has taken over, but what is the fuel that lugs the steam of this engine.
without the mayhem i am simple plain and boring. and you know what god does to boring people.
someone asked about regret.
"i regret something every single day," i responded. because every day i miss an opportunity to live harder
fuck better
kiss longer
and rage harder.
theres this gift we all have, despite the card we've been dealt we all sit at the same table.
some play what they have and some ask for forgiveness, and some burn with guilt, and some sit with words on their tongue, and some just don't know what to shut the fuck up.
but we all have it. this gift. and the laziness you project is nothing more than flamboyant arrogance to those who sit and wait for death. to those who are wishing at this very moment for 15 more minutes of life. to use those 15 more passion filled minutes to proclaim their love.
for 15 more minutes to breathe in the exhileration.
you are a fucking arrogant and wasteful human being and i hang my head in shame for the moments you squander and the heart you no longer put to use. i will sit across from you and wonder what happened to your soul.
how it got so black and empty. and i'll watch your mouth move and i'll think only to myself, "i wish you would end it." for me, for you. and for those who you continue to poison with your vile and contemptious existence. because yes, i believe there are people who are better off dead. and yes, i believe that those who squander this gift are beneath those who make the attempt. and yes you will be judged on the life you live, relationships and the respect given to them, and the responsibilities you stand accountable for. and no i do not believe that everyone is inherintly good and to those who know the vigor and urgency of life, thank you for being my inspiration. thank you for letting me take something away from your words and actions.
thank you for being a teacher
thank you for showing me that its more courageous to express love than it is to stand silent
because fuck waiting 3 days to call you back
fuck being embarassed about thinking about you every day
fuck not showing love and interest
fuck not making the first move
fuck not making any moves
fuck holding you back
fuck holding me back
fuck expectations, standards, outdated traditions that no longer apply.
because in my last minutes i refuse to sit in shame over the moments and opportunities i have misused.
i will look down at the racing stripes that cover this battle worn body, and smile. and hope that i've done everything i've done with this animated corpse that god gave me
because you never regret the girls you kiss
you only regret the girls you don't kiss