(no subject)
Type (Private)
Who: Dosu & Tayuya
Where: The roof of the Highschool
When: September 4th, Lunch
Warnings: Language. Angst. Tayuya fumbling all over herself.
Tayuya
Tayuya sat alone on the roof, book propped open in her lap. Back to school meant back to same old patterns. She strayed away from the cafeteria and found a space on the roof with a book during their lunch break. 'Cuz the other kids were lame. And shit. Or something like that.
Going back to school also meant that she had to wear that uniform again. A grey pleated skit, white dress shirt, and khaki-colored sweater. She didn't bother with the red bow anymore. It fucking clashed with her hair. And her boots? Those fucking stayed. End of story.
Dosu
School never changed, not like Dosu really expected it to. This was his last year at this hell hole anyway, so he wouldn't have to worry about any of this shit next year. His old spot was always occupied now, but it didn't matter. Last year he found a new spot to hang out. The roof. The door to the roof was pushed open and he stepped back onto it. He could trace a lot of memories back to this place. Memories of last year. All which involved..he turned his head and glanced over to Tayuya, not surprised at all that she was here. His lunch always stayed the same, bread and juice inside of a paper bag.
Tayuya
Tayuya glanced up briefly from her book-- Today was Lovecraft. In English, because translations in Japanese would just confuse the fuck out of her more than the actual english already did. She smirked slightly, turning a page and returning to her book. Some things never changed, and for that she was glad.
"Hey."
Dosu
"Hey." He said as he walked over and sat in his usual spot near her. There was no need to check out the book she was reading. She was always reading something. He couldn't exactly remember when it started, though. He opened up his bag and dug inside, pulling out his juice box. "What's up, bitch? Enjoying school so far?" He unwrapped his straw and stabbed it into the box,like a knife into a body.
Tayuya
"As much as I fucking can. I mean, don't I look like I'm having the greatest fucking time?" Sarcasm oozed from her voice, but her smile said otherwise. She didn't even bother looking over at him as he pulled the juice box from his bag, "Aren't you a little fucking old for a juice box?"
Dosu
"Probably. Can't say that I care, though." He lifted the box up to his mouth and took a sip before he set it down. He reached into his bag and took out his bread and he unwrapped it. He broke a piece of bread off and offered it to her. "So how are you healing then, bitch? I didn't hurt you too badly when you were over, did I?"
Tayuya
That was enough to get her to look up from her book. "I'm healing just fine." She snapped, accepting the piece of bread with a glare. A couple Band-Aids covered the brunt of the cut he'd left on her cheek, which she could explain away as 'I got into a fight'. "I suggest you avoid Renji for a while." Tayuya snerked.
Dosu
"Fuck Renji. And that little bitch friend of his." Dosu fired back. He hated them. If they wanted to start shit with him, he wouldn't avoid it. Even if one of them was her friend. "But you know, bitch. You look hotter with that cut on your cheek. I don't see why you're hiding it" He said as he took a bite from his piece of bread.
Tayuya
"Shut the fuck up." Tayuya snorted, looking back down at her book. "You want to mutilate someone's face? Do it to someone else." She took a bite of the bread, and frowned. "And stay the fuck away from my cousin."
Dosu
" Well fuck..sorry. If I knew it'd bother you that much then I wouldn't have did it." He turned his head away from her and bit his bread. He didn't know she had any limits. He wouldn't go out of his way to find Renji and start shit with him, but if he bothered him then he wasn't going to be held responsible.
Tayuya
Tayuya turned to look at Dosu, looking up from her book. "No. It's fine." She scowled, more because of her own-self more than anything Dosu had done. "Don't worry about it." She hunched, closing her book and leaning on her arms.
Dosu
It didn't seem fine. Telling him if he wanted to mutilate a face then do it to someone else. It wasn't like he ever tried to cut her deep. He honestly didn't care what Tayuya looked like. Half of her face could get badly burnt and he'd still feel the same way about her. "You know, if you want to mutilate my face then go ahead." He placed his hand on his cheek and rubbed it a bit. It still hurt from that beating she gave him. The bruises were there, but were covered by his bandages.
Tayuya
"Shit. Haven't I already?" Tayuya smirked slightly, leaning her head to the side so that she could look at him. "Besides, you'd only get off on it, anyway." She closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze at her back. This, this wasn't going to last forever. She wanted to enjoy it while she could.
Dosu
"And? You say that like it's a bad thing." Dosu turned his head and watched as she closed her eyes. It was actually pretty depressing to know that this was going to be their last year on this roof. Well that could always find other places. He turned his head again and looked in the direction of the empty lot. "You know you enjoy fuckin me up anyway, bitch."
Tayuya
Tayuya smiled, and genuinely; her eyes still closed. "Okay. You fucking caught me~!" Her tone was sarcastic, but surprisingly not condescending. "I admit it. I do. And no, it's not a bad thing, dip-shit." Her brown eyes opened, they flicked over to his and kept his gaze. "Not at all."
Dosu
"Good then, bitch. I would hate to find out that I'm too sick for you." Dosu could probably sit up here for the rest of the day with Tayuya and not get bored. Wasn't like he was going to his next few classes anyway. School was just starting and already he was going to start skipping.
Tayuya
"As long as I can get up afterward, I have both eyes and all my limbs, and I'm not disemboweled by the end of the night... I think we're fucking good." She stretched a bit, extending her arms and stretching her legs out. Finally, she sat up, knees pointed inward, heels out. She pulled a cigarette out from her bag and lit it up with a sigh. Talk about a cliche rebel image. "This shit is lame."
As much as she bugged Grimmjaw to go to classes, she skipped hers. That was only because she could do it and still get high enough grades to pass. The bell rang and Tayuya looked over at Dosu. "Going to class?" She had shit to say, and had been avoiding it.
Dosu
"I'm sure they can manage without me." He watched as she pulled out the cigarette. The familiar peach scent filling the air. He inhaled lightly and closed his eyes. He listened to the footsteps of the students as they flooded back into to the school to return to their classes. Summer went by too quickly, it seemed like they had only gotten out of school a few days ago. "What about you, bitch? You heading back to class?" He already knew the answer to the question. She wouldn't have lit up her cigarette if she planned on going back to class. It was going to be nice to have some company up here with him then. He couldn't remember a time where Tayuya left the roof before him anyway.
Tayuya
"Mm." Tayuya shook her head no, exhaling smoke through her nose. She leaned back on the fence with a satisfied smirk; she wasn't sure if it was the cigarette or the joy of not having to go to class. Maybe it was Dosu. It was nice to spend time with him. ...Might as well just say it.
"I moved back in with Grimmjaw."
Dosu
Dosu didn't open his eyes, even as the words registered in his head. He wanted to pretend like he didn't hear her, but that was impossible. He wished he was dreaming but he knew that wasn't true. At that moment, he didn't care if he ever opened his eyes again. He didn't say anything in response to what she said, all she got was silence.
Tayuya
Tayuya took a long drag from her cigarette and waited for him to say something. Anything. She expected him to be pissed. Almost wanted him to be; it was better than this stupid fucking silent-treatment. "...Dosu?"
Dosu
Dosu didn't know what exactly he should be. Of course he was pissed though, why the fuck wouldn't he be? He thought- It didn't matter. He should have seen this coming even though she said she wanted things to go back to the way they were. He didn't know what to say to her.
Tayuya
The silence was sickening. Tayuya felt nauseous, and suddenly she couldn't even think of what to do. She rambled in attempts to fill the silence that has suddenly developed between them. "He came over to Renji's apartment, and shit. I don't fucking know what the fuck happened. I didn't want to fucking go. We fought, and he said--" She stopped short, realizing where she was going. She rubbed the fading black eye Grimm had left her with when he thought she was going to cry again. What a fucking dip-shit.
Dosu
She didn't have to explain shit to him. All he needed to know was that they were back together, he didn't need to know how it came about. He opened his eyes against and looked away from her. He couldn't look at her right now. He didn't want to..Before and even now she picked that dip-shit over him. He just..he didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted Tayuya, he really did. But it didn't seem like she wanted him at all. He crumbled up the bread in his hand and tossed it away, over the fence and down toward the school yard.
Tayuya
"You know... fuck it. Forget I said anything." Tayuya stood, finishing off her cigarette with one last long drag and finally crushing it under her boot. She shoved her book into her bag, mussing with the skeleton print fabric and finally turned to walk away. "I'll see you around." She was fleeing. Avoiding the problem. Part of her wanted him to follow her, but she knew better than to hope for such foolish things.
Dosu
He turned his head and watched her as she started to walk away from him. This was the point where he would grab her arm to stop her. It was always the same, she ran. Tayuya should've known how he was feeling. Running away from Tayuya was never an option in his mind. It was just something he could never do. He couldn't even bring himself to hate her. He turned his head away from her again...Fuck it. He moved over to her and grabbed her arm. He couldn't just..let her go. Her hold on him would always be strong. "...You said a lot of shit that night you came over after the masquerade..I don't know if you were lying about what you said then or not.." Her getting back with Grimmjaw just made him think what she said that night was a lie.
Tayuya
"...What?" Tayuya blinked once at him, unable to remember the night. She'd been pretty fucking wasted before she got there, and the hangover had been killer. "What the fuck did I say?" It hadn't been a lie. It really hadn't, she'd been honest with the way she felt, maybe a little more honest than she had ever been to him while sober.
Dosu
Dosu averted his eyes from her and just stared down at his hand that held her arm. Telling her wouldn't change anything...he knew that. So why even bother..? He sighed a little and didn't even look back to her. "You said..I was always good to you..and that you shouldn't have picked him over me." But it happened again, just when he thought he would have the chance to have her. " You wanted things to go back to the way that they were..I did too, Tayuya." There was no denying that he missed her, she was a woman that he would do anything for. To him, she was as addictive as any drug. "You said that maybe..maybe you...." It was even tough for him to repeat that last part. Even after telling her he loved her. He'd said a total of three times by now. But he didn't want her to run from him, he didn't want to scare her away..
Tayuya
"...Maybe what?" Tayuya scowled, her eyebrows furrowing. She leaned forward, tilting her head as she tried to catch his gaze. "What?" She'd managed to fuck shit up, twice now. At least twice now, with Dosu. It wasn't easy for her, or entirely intentional. She hadn't weighed out the options thoroughly for days or some shit. Grimm just asked her to come back to stay... and she did. She hadn't thought of what the consequences of going back would entail. She hadn't thought about Dosu. It wasn't about him. If Dosu had done something similar... maybe things would be different. But now... now she couldn't very well go back, could she? Somehow Dosu just kept coming up with the short end of things. She wasn't even sure why anymore.
Dosu
"You said..." Dosu's grip on her loosened for a second but it quickly tightened again. He still wasn't able to look her in the face. " You said that maybe you loved me..." He focused his eyes down on his feet. It was hard to tell if it was the alcohol or if she really meant it. He hoped that it wasn't just the alcohol. He hoped that she really did mean it. For months he had been trying so hard to get her. Get her to like him, hangout with him and even date him. But she knew that, she knew what he wanted. He was sure that she had known for a while..ever since that time on this roof. This was place where he first confessed to her. He could still remember that day perfectly. Like it was yesterday. He could still remember how she reacted to it as well..
Tayuya
"...I--" Tayuya scowled more obviously, wishing maybe that she hadn't said the things she had. Not because she didn't mean them, though. She was angry with herself and the situation. "Fuck. I do. You're my best fucking friend, you dumb fag. You're practically all I fucking have." That didn't change anything. She couldn't go back to a life of promiscuity. Not now that love was involved. There was no way she was going to let herself fuck up another relationship. Especially after it seemed like they'd reached some level of normalcy.
Dosu
Dosu kept his face out of view. Her best friend? Sometimes it was hard to tell just what he was to her. But..she really did love him? So it wasn't just because she was wasted. It took months for things to progress this far. At first she didn't know if she liked him. Then she casually admitted it, and then even now. The way she said it made him feel like he should've already known. He could never understand why her admitting things like that was hard. He really didn't want her to see that small smile on his face. He hated smiling, but the small smile faded slowly. If things were like that..then why did she constantly pick another guy over him? "Shit..Tayuya..I-.." He wanted her to always be happy. He didn't ever want to see her cry again. He wanted her to be with him..
Tayuya
Tayuya just stood in silence, waiting for him to finish, and he didn't. "...He loves me." She tried to explain it away, like somehow that made it better. "I just didn't want to fuck shit up again." Looks like she fucking did anyway. Shit. She hated discussing her emotions. Lately it seemed that was all she was talking about. Love and shit. She was tired of feeling vulnerable. As much as she wanted to offer words of comfort, she couldn't. Nothing she could say would make this shit better, so why the fuck bother, right?
Dosu
"And what..do you think I don't? Even through all of this shit..having you run off with some stupid dip-shit..I still love you...my feelings for you have never fuckin changed..if anything, they've gotten stronger." As if they weren't already before. Dosu had always hated the fact of her being with other guys. Even when he seemed okay with her sleeping around before. He pulled her arm closer to him as if trying to stake some claim over her. "Shit..I don't care if you're with someone else..It doesn't change anything for me. Ever since that day back then..I've wanted you. I still want you now..I just-" He'd do anything to prove how much he wanted her.
Tayuya
Inhaling for a moment after he pulled her closer, she tried to push away the feeling that rose in her stomach. Excitement? Elation? She couldn't just make feelings go away. As much as she wanted them to. "Dosu, I love him! It's not a fucking competition!" Tayuya still felt weird admitting that, it was even weirder airing this all to him. It seemed like no matter what she did, someone would get hurt. Usually Dosu. He still wasn't looking at her. She frowned, touching her hand to his cheek and instantly regretting that small shred of skin contact.
Dosu
"I know..I know that Tayuya..and I don't care if you love him..I hate him..I hate that motherfucker.." He purely hated Grimmjaw. Not because he broke his arm, but because "He came and took you away..You were gone for so long..you didn't even come and see me after he broke my arm.." He still wasn't able to bring himself to look at her. "I missed you..I missed you so much, Tayuya. I missed kissing you, hanging out with you and even having you spend the night.." These were all things he told himself he wouldn't admit." ..I thought you had completely forgotten about me..You were gone for two months..It took you that long to come back to me..I can't..I can't just let that happen again. I don't know what I have to do, but I'll do anything..I..I know you're worth it, Tayuya" The skin contact was more than welcomed, but it didn't help to ease what he was feeling.
Tayuya
"Stop." Tayuya pulled her hand back, and attempted to shrink away from his grasp on her other arm. "Fucking stop it. I didn't come back... I didn't fucking come back because this was all my fucking fault. How the fuck was I supposed to go back after what I did?" She'd missed Dosu. A lot. What with everything that had happened with Grimmjaw, and all the time he'd left her alone for. All she could do was wallow. It was awful. She and Grimm, they weren't even friends. But now, he was trying. ACTUALLY trying. "I don't want to leave again, but Grimm... he's my fucking boyfriend now."
Dosu
Dosu held on to her tight. He didn't let her go, he couldn't let her go. "Do you think that shit matters to me..? You're all that fuckin matters, Tayuya...that's how It's always been..you laughed when I said I loved you, you constantly told me you didn't want a boyfriend." He couldn't just stop. Tayuya..she just meant so much to him. Just letting her go to some other guy, that didn't seem like an option to him. " I..I thought that if you ever wanted one you would...I never thought you would go to someone else. A asshole that made you cry...I wanted to fuckin kill him for that..you said you don't want to leave again, then you don't have to..If you don't want to leave me again, then don't...just...don't go again, Tayuya..please.." He'd always pursued her, constantly. Always followed her. Just like a puppy. But he felt tossed aside when she found a new puppy.
Tayuya
"I can't." The redhead pulled back, trying to pull forcefully out of Dosu's grasp. "I'm already living with him again. ...I'm happy there." Mostly truthful. Grimm seemed to have so many people after his ass, she was starting to feel... like a burden. That's how she always felt with him. Like a secret he couldn't fucking share because he'd lose face. He never cheated, but she still felt unwanted sometimes. Grimmjaw was trying, for her, but things were still awkward sometimes. She hated how Dosu could make her doubt her decision. "I can't, Dosu. I fucking can't."
Dosu
It was always the same..she'd admit how she felt to him but still wouldn't want him. Staring down at her arm which he held so close to him, he couldn't even bring himself to let go. If she could see his eye right now..he really felt like he was on a new level of sadness. "But..you told me you wanted things to be the same again.."I..wanted to be the one that makes you happy. I shouldn't hav-" Was it him? Was there just something wrong with him that made her not want him. Dosu pulled Tayuya closer to him again, but this time he wrapped his arms around her and held her. He didn't want her to pull away, he didn't want to be apart from her. "..Is it just me, Tayuya? Do you just not..want me? If I did something wrong..I'm sorry..I know..I know I've fucked up a lot..pissed you off and did things that I shouldn't have..I'm...I'm sorry, Tayuya..I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did.."
Tayuya
Tayuya shut her eyes, leaning her head against him. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around his waist. His words hurt, made her feel lower than she remembered feeling in a long time. She shouldn't have told him the truth. It just made this harder for her, made her want him back in ways that weren't fair to anyone. She loved him, and that's why she was going to do this to him.
"Yeah... It fucking is you." Tayuya set her jaw stubbornly, and pressed her palms flat against his chest. "You're my friend, you dumb fag-shit, but... Shit. I just fucking felt bad." She continued on; her stomach twisting worse as she lied to him. "I don't fucking love you. Not like that. I just came back because I didn't want to fucking be alone. I didn't want to fucking tell you the truth because I feel bad. I was pretty fucking wasted. I mean, 'maybe' I love you? No! I fucking don't. Who the fuck would do this to someone they loved? So just back the fuck off, shit-wit!" She felt like it was a bad dream, and in that dream she was dying.
Dosu
That pain in Dosu's chest hurt more than ever before. Her words cut deeper than any knife could. The pain in his chest hurt more than any broken bone did. He just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. He didn't want to feel this pain. "I'm..sorry, Tayuya...I sh..I shouldn't have believed that you could love me like that..I shouldn't have..I shouldn't have even went and talked to Grimmjaw.." But it seemed like it was fir the best. "I'm sorry for wanting you so badly..I only wish..you wanted me as much as I want you." Dosu slowly pulled his arms from around her and he reached up and ripped away at his bandages. He still wasn't able to look at her. He dropped the ripped bandages down onto the roof of the school. "Even if..you don't love me like that, my feelings for you are the same..I can't..I can't help it, Tayuya..." He placed his hand on her shoulder as he stepped past her. "I wish I was good enough for you..I thought I was, but I guess I was only dreaming..Sorry, Tayuya." He started to walk away from her heading to the entrance of the roof.
Tayuya
Shit. Listening to what he said, Tayuya could feel the burning sting of tears accumulating in the corners of her eyes. She bit her lip, to the point of bleeding. She wasn't going to fucking let herself cry. Not again. He'd get over her, right? Move on. She wasn't worth nearly as much as he kept claiming. Maybe now he-- wait. What? "...What? When did you...?" Tayuya finally only found the ability to speak when he mentioned Grimmjaw. She grabbed his arm before he completely walked away. "Dosu... what the fuck are you talking about? ...When did you talk to Grimmjaw?" She shouldn't have stopped him, but he wasn't making any fucking sense.
Dosu
Dosu stopped when she grabbed his arm, but he didn't look back. "Grimmjaw? I talked to him...not too long after you came by my place after the masquerade.." Tayuya was worth the trouble and more. He knew she would get pissed about this, though..say something about him sticking his nose where it didn't belong. " I kind of just..ran into him..I told him to go back to you and take you back...I hate seeing you sad I said I wanted you to be happy.." Dosu had second thoughts not that long after it, though. "He asked why I cared about your happiness and I told him and he laughed.." Dosu sighed a bit and waited. This was the point where she'd get pissed and yell at him or hit him. Either action would actually be welcomed.
Tayuya
Tayuya was stunned. "...You ...you did that .. for me?" She dropped her grip on his arm, and without even thinking, pulled him into a hug. He deserved better than she'd given him. After all the bullshit she ran him through, he kept coming back. It hurt her to see; couldn't he just take a hint and back off?
Dosu
This was one of the few times that Tayuya actually shocked him. The hug was unexpected, mostly because it was her..She'd always told him to stay out of her life but he couldn't do that. He had to meddle. He ran his hand slowly over arm as she held him, he didn't want her to let go. "..Of course..I hate seeing you sad.." He regretted doing it, but he told her before that she was all that mattered. "It's hard to tell when you're telling the truth or lying..I..I want to believe that you were lying about what you said a few moments ago..whether you were or you weren't..I'm still going to feel the same way..Just don't disappear out of my life again..don't go away for another two months..please stay around, Tayuya."
Tayuya
"I won't." Tayuya leaned against him, her arms pulling her tighter against him. "You really are my best friend. ...I just-- Shit. " the redhead fell silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. What could you say to make things better. You couldn't. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing she could do. When she spoke again, her words barely sounded as a whisper.
She'd missed him. Needed him around, but things could never really ever be the same. Had their entire friendship really been based on the fact that he loved her? ...But she loved him too. It was true, some things never changed-- but nothing lasts forever.
"I'm so sorry."
Who: Dosu & Tayuya
Where: The roof of the Highschool
When: September 4th, Lunch
Warnings: Language. Angst. Tayuya fumbling all over herself.
Tayuya
Tayuya sat alone on the roof, book propped open in her lap. Back to school meant back to same old patterns. She strayed away from the cafeteria and found a space on the roof with a book during their lunch break. 'Cuz the other kids were lame. And shit. Or something like that.
Going back to school also meant that she had to wear that uniform again. A grey pleated skit, white dress shirt, and khaki-colored sweater. She didn't bother with the red bow anymore. It fucking clashed with her hair. And her boots? Those fucking stayed. End of story.
Dosu
School never changed, not like Dosu really expected it to. This was his last year at this hell hole anyway, so he wouldn't have to worry about any of this shit next year. His old spot was always occupied now, but it didn't matter. Last year he found a new spot to hang out. The roof. The door to the roof was pushed open and he stepped back onto it. He could trace a lot of memories back to this place. Memories of last year. All which involved..he turned his head and glanced over to Tayuya, not surprised at all that she was here. His lunch always stayed the same, bread and juice inside of a paper bag.
Tayuya
Tayuya glanced up briefly from her book-- Today was Lovecraft. In English, because translations in Japanese would just confuse the fuck out of her more than the actual english already did. She smirked slightly, turning a page and returning to her book. Some things never changed, and for that she was glad.
"Hey."
Dosu
"Hey." He said as he walked over and sat in his usual spot near her. There was no need to check out the book she was reading. She was always reading something. He couldn't exactly remember when it started, though. He opened up his bag and dug inside, pulling out his juice box. "What's up, bitch? Enjoying school so far?" He unwrapped his straw and stabbed it into the box,like a knife into a body.
Tayuya
"As much as I fucking can. I mean, don't I look like I'm having the greatest fucking time?" Sarcasm oozed from her voice, but her smile said otherwise. She didn't even bother looking over at him as he pulled the juice box from his bag, "Aren't you a little fucking old for a juice box?"
Dosu
"Probably. Can't say that I care, though." He lifted the box up to his mouth and took a sip before he set it down. He reached into his bag and took out his bread and he unwrapped it. He broke a piece of bread off and offered it to her. "So how are you healing then, bitch? I didn't hurt you too badly when you were over, did I?"
Tayuya
That was enough to get her to look up from her book. "I'm healing just fine." She snapped, accepting the piece of bread with a glare. A couple Band-Aids covered the brunt of the cut he'd left on her cheek, which she could explain away as 'I got into a fight'. "I suggest you avoid Renji for a while." Tayuya snerked.
Dosu
"Fuck Renji. And that little bitch friend of his." Dosu fired back. He hated them. If they wanted to start shit with him, he wouldn't avoid it. Even if one of them was her friend. "But you know, bitch. You look hotter with that cut on your cheek. I don't see why you're hiding it" He said as he took a bite from his piece of bread.
Tayuya
"Shut the fuck up." Tayuya snorted, looking back down at her book. "You want to mutilate someone's face? Do it to someone else." She took a bite of the bread, and frowned. "And stay the fuck away from my cousin."
Dosu
" Well fuck..sorry. If I knew it'd bother you that much then I wouldn't have did it." He turned his head away from her and bit his bread. He didn't know she had any limits. He wouldn't go out of his way to find Renji and start shit with him, but if he bothered him then he wasn't going to be held responsible.
Tayuya
Tayuya turned to look at Dosu, looking up from her book. "No. It's fine." She scowled, more because of her own-self more than anything Dosu had done. "Don't worry about it." She hunched, closing her book and leaning on her arms.
Dosu
It didn't seem fine. Telling him if he wanted to mutilate a face then do it to someone else. It wasn't like he ever tried to cut her deep. He honestly didn't care what Tayuya looked like. Half of her face could get badly burnt and he'd still feel the same way about her. "You know, if you want to mutilate my face then go ahead." He placed his hand on his cheek and rubbed it a bit. It still hurt from that beating she gave him. The bruises were there, but were covered by his bandages.
Tayuya
"Shit. Haven't I already?" Tayuya smirked slightly, leaning her head to the side so that she could look at him. "Besides, you'd only get off on it, anyway." She closed her eyes, enjoying the breeze at her back. This, this wasn't going to last forever. She wanted to enjoy it while she could.
Dosu
"And? You say that like it's a bad thing." Dosu turned his head and watched as she closed her eyes. It was actually pretty depressing to know that this was going to be their last year on this roof. Well that could always find other places. He turned his head again and looked in the direction of the empty lot. "You know you enjoy fuckin me up anyway, bitch."
Tayuya
Tayuya smiled, and genuinely; her eyes still closed. "Okay. You fucking caught me~!" Her tone was sarcastic, but surprisingly not condescending. "I admit it. I do. And no, it's not a bad thing, dip-shit." Her brown eyes opened, they flicked over to his and kept his gaze. "Not at all."
Dosu
"Good then, bitch. I would hate to find out that I'm too sick for you." Dosu could probably sit up here for the rest of the day with Tayuya and not get bored. Wasn't like he was going to his next few classes anyway. School was just starting and already he was going to start skipping.
Tayuya
"As long as I can get up afterward, I have both eyes and all my limbs, and I'm not disemboweled by the end of the night... I think we're fucking good." She stretched a bit, extending her arms and stretching her legs out. Finally, she sat up, knees pointed inward, heels out. She pulled a cigarette out from her bag and lit it up with a sigh. Talk about a cliche rebel image. "This shit is lame."
As much as she bugged Grimmjaw to go to classes, she skipped hers. That was only because she could do it and still get high enough grades to pass. The bell rang and Tayuya looked over at Dosu. "Going to class?" She had shit to say, and had been avoiding it.
Dosu
"I'm sure they can manage without me." He watched as she pulled out the cigarette. The familiar peach scent filling the air. He inhaled lightly and closed his eyes. He listened to the footsteps of the students as they flooded back into to the school to return to their classes. Summer went by too quickly, it seemed like they had only gotten out of school a few days ago. "What about you, bitch? You heading back to class?" He already knew the answer to the question. She wouldn't have lit up her cigarette if she planned on going back to class. It was going to be nice to have some company up here with him then. He couldn't remember a time where Tayuya left the roof before him anyway.
Tayuya
"Mm." Tayuya shook her head no, exhaling smoke through her nose. She leaned back on the fence with a satisfied smirk; she wasn't sure if it was the cigarette or the joy of not having to go to class. Maybe it was Dosu. It was nice to spend time with him. ...Might as well just say it.
"I moved back in with Grimmjaw."
Dosu
Dosu didn't open his eyes, even as the words registered in his head. He wanted to pretend like he didn't hear her, but that was impossible. He wished he was dreaming but he knew that wasn't true. At that moment, he didn't care if he ever opened his eyes again. He didn't say anything in response to what she said, all she got was silence.
Tayuya
Tayuya took a long drag from her cigarette and waited for him to say something. Anything. She expected him to be pissed. Almost wanted him to be; it was better than this stupid fucking silent-treatment. "...Dosu?"
Dosu
Dosu didn't know what exactly he should be. Of course he was pissed though, why the fuck wouldn't he be? He thought- It didn't matter. He should have seen this coming even though she said she wanted things to go back to the way they were. He didn't know what to say to her.
Tayuya
The silence was sickening. Tayuya felt nauseous, and suddenly she couldn't even think of what to do. She rambled in attempts to fill the silence that has suddenly developed between them. "He came over to Renji's apartment, and shit. I don't fucking know what the fuck happened. I didn't want to fucking go. We fought, and he said--" She stopped short, realizing where she was going. She rubbed the fading black eye Grimm had left her with when he thought she was going to cry again. What a fucking dip-shit.
Dosu
She didn't have to explain shit to him. All he needed to know was that they were back together, he didn't need to know how it came about. He opened his eyes against and looked away from her. He couldn't look at her right now. He didn't want to..Before and even now she picked that dip-shit over him. He just..he didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted Tayuya, he really did. But it didn't seem like she wanted him at all. He crumbled up the bread in his hand and tossed it away, over the fence and down toward the school yard.
Tayuya
"You know... fuck it. Forget I said anything." Tayuya stood, finishing off her cigarette with one last long drag and finally crushing it under her boot. She shoved her book into her bag, mussing with the skeleton print fabric and finally turned to walk away. "I'll see you around." She was fleeing. Avoiding the problem. Part of her wanted him to follow her, but she knew better than to hope for such foolish things.
Dosu
He turned his head and watched her as she started to walk away from him. This was the point where he would grab her arm to stop her. It was always the same, she ran. Tayuya should've known how he was feeling. Running away from Tayuya was never an option in his mind. It was just something he could never do. He couldn't even bring himself to hate her. He turned his head away from her again...Fuck it. He moved over to her and grabbed her arm. He couldn't just..let her go. Her hold on him would always be strong. "...You said a lot of shit that night you came over after the masquerade..I don't know if you were lying about what you said then or not.." Her getting back with Grimmjaw just made him think what she said that night was a lie.
Tayuya
"...What?" Tayuya blinked once at him, unable to remember the night. She'd been pretty fucking wasted before she got there, and the hangover had been killer. "What the fuck did I say?" It hadn't been a lie. It really hadn't, she'd been honest with the way she felt, maybe a little more honest than she had ever been to him while sober.
Dosu
Dosu averted his eyes from her and just stared down at his hand that held her arm. Telling her wouldn't change anything...he knew that. So why even bother..? He sighed a little and didn't even look back to her. "You said..I was always good to you..and that you shouldn't have picked him over me." But it happened again, just when he thought he would have the chance to have her. " You wanted things to go back to the way that they were..I did too, Tayuya." There was no denying that he missed her, she was a woman that he would do anything for. To him, she was as addictive as any drug. "You said that maybe..maybe you...." It was even tough for him to repeat that last part. Even after telling her he loved her. He'd said a total of three times by now. But he didn't want her to run from him, he didn't want to scare her away..
Tayuya
"...Maybe what?" Tayuya scowled, her eyebrows furrowing. She leaned forward, tilting her head as she tried to catch his gaze. "What?" She'd managed to fuck shit up, twice now. At least twice now, with Dosu. It wasn't easy for her, or entirely intentional. She hadn't weighed out the options thoroughly for days or some shit. Grimm just asked her to come back to stay... and she did. She hadn't thought of what the consequences of going back would entail. She hadn't thought about Dosu. It wasn't about him. If Dosu had done something similar... maybe things would be different. But now... now she couldn't very well go back, could she? Somehow Dosu just kept coming up with the short end of things. She wasn't even sure why anymore.
Dosu
"You said..." Dosu's grip on her loosened for a second but it quickly tightened again. He still wasn't able to look her in the face. " You said that maybe you loved me..." He focused his eyes down on his feet. It was hard to tell if it was the alcohol or if she really meant it. He hoped that it wasn't just the alcohol. He hoped that she really did mean it. For months he had been trying so hard to get her. Get her to like him, hangout with him and even date him. But she knew that, she knew what he wanted. He was sure that she had known for a while..ever since that time on this roof. This was place where he first confessed to her. He could still remember that day perfectly. Like it was yesterday. He could still remember how she reacted to it as well..
Tayuya
"...I--" Tayuya scowled more obviously, wishing maybe that she hadn't said the things she had. Not because she didn't mean them, though. She was angry with herself and the situation. "Fuck. I do. You're my best fucking friend, you dumb fag. You're practically all I fucking have." That didn't change anything. She couldn't go back to a life of promiscuity. Not now that love was involved. There was no way she was going to let herself fuck up another relationship. Especially after it seemed like they'd reached some level of normalcy.
Dosu
Dosu kept his face out of view. Her best friend? Sometimes it was hard to tell just what he was to her. But..she really did love him? So it wasn't just because she was wasted. It took months for things to progress this far. At first she didn't know if she liked him. Then she casually admitted it, and then even now. The way she said it made him feel like he should've already known. He could never understand why her admitting things like that was hard. He really didn't want her to see that small smile on his face. He hated smiling, but the small smile faded slowly. If things were like that..then why did she constantly pick another guy over him? "Shit..Tayuya..I-.." He wanted her to always be happy. He didn't ever want to see her cry again. He wanted her to be with him..
Tayuya
Tayuya just stood in silence, waiting for him to finish, and he didn't. "...He loves me." She tried to explain it away, like somehow that made it better. "I just didn't want to fuck shit up again." Looks like she fucking did anyway. Shit. She hated discussing her emotions. Lately it seemed that was all she was talking about. Love and shit. She was tired of feeling vulnerable. As much as she wanted to offer words of comfort, she couldn't. Nothing she could say would make this shit better, so why the fuck bother, right?
Dosu
"And what..do you think I don't? Even through all of this shit..having you run off with some stupid dip-shit..I still love you...my feelings for you have never fuckin changed..if anything, they've gotten stronger." As if they weren't already before. Dosu had always hated the fact of her being with other guys. Even when he seemed okay with her sleeping around before. He pulled her arm closer to him as if trying to stake some claim over her. "Shit..I don't care if you're with someone else..It doesn't change anything for me. Ever since that day back then..I've wanted you. I still want you now..I just-" He'd do anything to prove how much he wanted her.
Tayuya
Inhaling for a moment after he pulled her closer, she tried to push away the feeling that rose in her stomach. Excitement? Elation? She couldn't just make feelings go away. As much as she wanted them to. "Dosu, I love him! It's not a fucking competition!" Tayuya still felt weird admitting that, it was even weirder airing this all to him. It seemed like no matter what she did, someone would get hurt. Usually Dosu. He still wasn't looking at her. She frowned, touching her hand to his cheek and instantly regretting that small shred of skin contact.
Dosu
"I know..I know that Tayuya..and I don't care if you love him..I hate him..I hate that motherfucker.." He purely hated Grimmjaw. Not because he broke his arm, but because "He came and took you away..You were gone for so long..you didn't even come and see me after he broke my arm.." He still wasn't able to bring himself to look at her. "I missed you..I missed you so much, Tayuya. I missed kissing you, hanging out with you and even having you spend the night.." These were all things he told himself he wouldn't admit." ..I thought you had completely forgotten about me..You were gone for two months..It took you that long to come back to me..I can't..I can't just let that happen again. I don't know what I have to do, but I'll do anything..I..I know you're worth it, Tayuya" The skin contact was more than welcomed, but it didn't help to ease what he was feeling.
Tayuya
"Stop." Tayuya pulled her hand back, and attempted to shrink away from his grasp on her other arm. "Fucking stop it. I didn't come back... I didn't fucking come back because this was all my fucking fault. How the fuck was I supposed to go back after what I did?" She'd missed Dosu. A lot. What with everything that had happened with Grimmjaw, and all the time he'd left her alone for. All she could do was wallow. It was awful. She and Grimm, they weren't even friends. But now, he was trying. ACTUALLY trying. "I don't want to leave again, but Grimm... he's my fucking boyfriend now."
Dosu
Dosu held on to her tight. He didn't let her go, he couldn't let her go. "Do you think that shit matters to me..? You're all that fuckin matters, Tayuya...that's how It's always been..you laughed when I said I loved you, you constantly told me you didn't want a boyfriend." He couldn't just stop. Tayuya..she just meant so much to him. Just letting her go to some other guy, that didn't seem like an option to him. " I..I thought that if you ever wanted one you would...I never thought you would go to someone else. A asshole that made you cry...I wanted to fuckin kill him for that..you said you don't want to leave again, then you don't have to..If you don't want to leave me again, then don't...just...don't go again, Tayuya..please.." He'd always pursued her, constantly. Always followed her. Just like a puppy. But he felt tossed aside when she found a new puppy.
Tayuya
"I can't." The redhead pulled back, trying to pull forcefully out of Dosu's grasp. "I'm already living with him again. ...I'm happy there." Mostly truthful. Grimm seemed to have so many people after his ass, she was starting to feel... like a burden. That's how she always felt with him. Like a secret he couldn't fucking share because he'd lose face. He never cheated, but she still felt unwanted sometimes. Grimmjaw was trying, for her, but things were still awkward sometimes. She hated how Dosu could make her doubt her decision. "I can't, Dosu. I fucking can't."
Dosu
It was always the same..she'd admit how she felt to him but still wouldn't want him. Staring down at her arm which he held so close to him, he couldn't even bring himself to let go. If she could see his eye right now..he really felt like he was on a new level of sadness. "But..you told me you wanted things to be the same again.."I..wanted to be the one that makes you happy. I shouldn't hav-" Was it him? Was there just something wrong with him that made her not want him. Dosu pulled Tayuya closer to him again, but this time he wrapped his arms around her and held her. He didn't want her to pull away, he didn't want to be apart from her. "..Is it just me, Tayuya? Do you just not..want me? If I did something wrong..I'm sorry..I know..I know I've fucked up a lot..pissed you off and did things that I shouldn't have..I'm...I'm sorry, Tayuya..I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did.."
Tayuya
Tayuya shut her eyes, leaning her head against him. She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around his waist. His words hurt, made her feel lower than she remembered feeling in a long time. She shouldn't have told him the truth. It just made this harder for her, made her want him back in ways that weren't fair to anyone. She loved him, and that's why she was going to do this to him.
"Yeah... It fucking is you." Tayuya set her jaw stubbornly, and pressed her palms flat against his chest. "You're my friend, you dumb fag-shit, but... Shit. I just fucking felt bad." She continued on; her stomach twisting worse as she lied to him. "I don't fucking love you. Not like that. I just came back because I didn't want to fucking be alone. I didn't want to fucking tell you the truth because I feel bad. I was pretty fucking wasted. I mean, 'maybe' I love you? No! I fucking don't. Who the fuck would do this to someone they loved? So just back the fuck off, shit-wit!" She felt like it was a bad dream, and in that dream she was dying.
Dosu
That pain in Dosu's chest hurt more than ever before. Her words cut deeper than any knife could. The pain in his chest hurt more than any broken bone did. He just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up again. He didn't want to feel this pain. "I'm..sorry, Tayuya...I sh..I shouldn't have believed that you could love me like that..I shouldn't have..I shouldn't have even went and talked to Grimmjaw.." But it seemed like it was fir the best. "I'm sorry for wanting you so badly..I only wish..you wanted me as much as I want you." Dosu slowly pulled his arms from around her and he reached up and ripped away at his bandages. He still wasn't able to look at her. He dropped the ripped bandages down onto the roof of the school. "Even if..you don't love me like that, my feelings for you are the same..I can't..I can't help it, Tayuya..." He placed his hand on her shoulder as he stepped past her. "I wish I was good enough for you..I thought I was, but I guess I was only dreaming..Sorry, Tayuya." He started to walk away from her heading to the entrance of the roof.
Tayuya
Shit. Listening to what he said, Tayuya could feel the burning sting of tears accumulating in the corners of her eyes. She bit her lip, to the point of bleeding. She wasn't going to fucking let herself cry. Not again. He'd get over her, right? Move on. She wasn't worth nearly as much as he kept claiming. Maybe now he-- wait. What? "...What? When did you...?" Tayuya finally only found the ability to speak when he mentioned Grimmjaw. She grabbed his arm before he completely walked away. "Dosu... what the fuck are you talking about? ...When did you talk to Grimmjaw?" She shouldn't have stopped him, but he wasn't making any fucking sense.
Dosu
Dosu stopped when she grabbed his arm, but he didn't look back. "Grimmjaw? I talked to him...not too long after you came by my place after the masquerade.." Tayuya was worth the trouble and more. He knew she would get pissed about this, though..say something about him sticking his nose where it didn't belong. " I kind of just..ran into him..I told him to go back to you and take you back...I hate seeing you sad I said I wanted you to be happy.." Dosu had second thoughts not that long after it, though. "He asked why I cared about your happiness and I told him and he laughed.." Dosu sighed a bit and waited. This was the point where she'd get pissed and yell at him or hit him. Either action would actually be welcomed.
Tayuya
Tayuya was stunned. "...You ...you did that .. for me?" She dropped her grip on his arm, and without even thinking, pulled him into a hug. He deserved better than she'd given him. After all the bullshit she ran him through, he kept coming back. It hurt her to see; couldn't he just take a hint and back off?
Dosu
This was one of the few times that Tayuya actually shocked him. The hug was unexpected, mostly because it was her..She'd always told him to stay out of her life but he couldn't do that. He had to meddle. He ran his hand slowly over arm as she held him, he didn't want her to let go. "..Of course..I hate seeing you sad.." He regretted doing it, but he told her before that she was all that mattered. "It's hard to tell when you're telling the truth or lying..I..I want to believe that you were lying about what you said a few moments ago..whether you were or you weren't..I'm still going to feel the same way..Just don't disappear out of my life again..don't go away for another two months..please stay around, Tayuya."
Tayuya
"I won't." Tayuya leaned against him, her arms pulling her tighter against him. "You really are my best friend. ...I just-- Shit. " the redhead fell silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. What could you say to make things better. You couldn't. There was nothing. Absolutely nothing she could do. When she spoke again, her words barely sounded as a whisper.
She'd missed him. Needed him around, but things could never really ever be the same. Had their entire friendship really been based on the fact that he loved her? ...But she loved him too. It was true, some things never changed-- but nothing lasts forever.
"I'm so sorry."