Finally, it's finished.
I can't promise it's completely accurate, but I spent a painstaking three months translating this bit by bit. It may not be word-for-word the same, but that wouldn't make sense anyway. The basic ideas are the same as the original Japanese... trust me, the bits with him rambling about being positive! were a little hard to change over, but they're as close as I could get them. ^^;
Throughout the interview text, there are links to more information on various things that Hitsu refers to. There are also a LOT of notes, cultural and otherwise, included after the interview; if you're not terribly familiar with Japanese culture, you'd probably be helped by reading over the notes before reading the interview. ^^; Things for which a note appears after the article have an asterisk (*) next to them. My own comments/notes appear in ((double parentheses)).
It probably goes without saying, but PLEASE. DO NOT REPOST or reproduce this anywhere else without permission/credit. This was a lot of work. ;_;
--------------------------------------------------------------
Neo genesis Vol. 22 | April 4th, 2008
Hitsugi from Nightmare
((inset))
Special Interview
Hitsugi's look has an aura of Wa* from somewhere.
Dressed in Japanese-style clothes, a handle engraved with Japanese tattoo-like carvings, makeup done in a Kabuki motif; he's establishing his originality with his own ideas and senses.
Looking more deeply into the heart of such a spirit, surprisingly, there isn't that much in the way of regrets.
Hitsugi has a global point of view, and is a dreamer thinking thoughts of all the world, without persisting at it.
This interview touches on the secrets behind this good-natured man's motivations.
((Main interview text))
---(around the time this interview was conducted) You were out for a little bit with the flu; are you ok?
H: Yes, I'm ok. Sorry to make you worry. I'm much better, so yesterday I started working again.
---We were worried.
H: When I was sick, it was pretty bad, but one thing made me happy.
---What was it?
H: I got ((keitai/cell phone)) mail from Kenzo (Ayabie) every day. He'd ask "Are you ok?" and "How do you feel?", and I really appreciated that. But when I mailed him asking if he wanted to know if I was better so he could invite me to go drinking, he said "No, I just wanted to know." When I said "Oh, I wondered," he replied "What the Hell is that? You're a special guy, so of course I worried!"
---It's only natural for him to do that, huh.
H: No surprise, "Kenzo is a good friend" I thought.
---And now, let's get down to business. What kind of image is there in your photos this time around?
H: It's kind of a rough generalization of him, but it's a debaucherous bad guy named Shishio Makoto from the manga Rurouni Kenshin*. I don't really think he's cool, though. In the end, the look came out a little different. Not the kind of Japanese person you'd see much in that era. Well, you don't really ever see Japanese people like him.
---Today I think I'd like to delve into that kind of Hitsugi a bit more, but I heard talk that the Hitsugi of late has been getting into Konbu Tea.*
H: HAHAHA! But it's not only me. Sakito is drinking it, too.
---It's become a fad within the band.
H: Mid-tour, Sakito said "I want to try drinking Konbu Tea." Thinking I'd like to try it, too, I bought some and it was good. Since then, I keep drinking and drinking Konbu Tea and Ume ((Plum)) Konbu Tea. (Laughs)
---It's definitely good, then.
H: I just stopped wanting to drink it.
---(Laughs) So you've always liked drinking ((Japanese)) tea?
H: Usually, if my family asked "You want some tea?" I'd always say "I don't want any." Ordinary green tea or bancha*, I don't like very much. But I've always liked Ume Konbu tea and Oolong tea.
---How about food?
H: I love Japanese food. Other than pasta, I'm not big on Western food. As for Japanese food, I like soba, udon ((types of noodles)) and sushi. But lately, I haven't been eating rice. I've been eating noodles, but not much rice or bread is going into my stomach. ((His wording. XD))
---It's a shame, with Miyagi Prefecture ((His home prefecture)) being known for rice.
H: It's good, isn't it, stuff like Tamagokake Gohan and Natto Gohan*. Ah, but I'm always eating out with friends. When I think of doing that, we don't really go to places serving Japanese food. We don't really go to Izakaya ((traditional bars)) or yakitori places. And lately, when I drink I haven't been eating much. Not very often, anyway.
---You've turned into a drunkard, huh.
H: Terrible, isn't it. (Laughs) Like, if we all go to a yakiniku ((grilled meat)) place, I won't even eat a single rib. I just watch my friends and juniors eat. Just watching, I feel full. (Laughs)
---But you drink.
H: After starting with beer I move onto Shouchuu ((Japanese sake)). I don't really drink Western liquor. ((THIS IS A LIE. XD He loves whisky and scotch.))
---The "clothing" in "Clothing/Food/Shelter," how about that? You're wearing some pretty old-fashioned clothes.
H: I like it. Although I haven't bought any ((clothes)) lately. I like Japanese-style embroidery. And when we first started getting photographed regularly as Nightmare, I wore my Grandmother's kimono.
---Really? She lent it to you?
H: Nope, she gave it to me outright (laughs). No one was using it anymore, so it was refitted for me and I wore it.
---Your taste for Japanese-styled things, is it having some kind of effect on you?
H: Yeah, rather a lot. When I was little I didn't even have a yukata or jinbei*. Ah, actually, maybe it's because I didn't ((have them that I like them now)). I may have always wanted to try them on.
---You don't go to fireworks displays in yukata?
H: Nah, I wear jerseys ((t-shirts and the like)) for that. (laughs) It would be relaxed at my house. And it was fun to go with all my friends on our bicycles.
---What about with a girlfriend...?
H: (Quick answer) I didn't. To start with, I don't have any conception of doing something one-on-one with a girlfriend. Since long ago, I haven't had any idea of what sorts of things to go do. Deciding on something to do with just two people isn't very interesting to me. Even if I did it I don't think I'd look forward to it (laughs). But I'd definitely go with that group of friends. I like carrying on with everyone. I like being able to look forward to having fun with my friends. It's not the least bit romantic.
---Do you like fireworks displays and festivals and so on?
H: Yeah, they're ok. If there's a festival going on in the park next to my place, I get a little irritated. (laughs)
---(Laughs) Do you play the Goldfish Scooping game?
H: I do. I catch them, and then, waiting a bit before I'm going to go home, I return them. I just like to scoop them.
---Are you good at it?
H: Ah, I don't know. I haven't really done it lately. Because I knew early on the basic rule of not holding the scoop upright, I've always caught about four or five fish. It's the same as scooping hair out of the bathtub, right? ((ASDKSDJFKSDJF))
---What? (Laughs)
H: When there's hair floating in the bathtub, you try to scoop by smoothly moving both hands up from under the water, right? It's not that, but scooping along sideways that works.
---I see!
H: Goldfish Scooping has the same points. (laughs)
---What do you think of festival food? Like apricot sweets, etc.
H: I don't really try things like apple sweets more than once. I don't like them at all. I haven't tried a chocolate ((covered)) banana, either. ((Common festival food here.))
---Ah, so you don't really like fruit?
H: Nope. And fruit on top of cake, I don't really care for that much, either. It's like, when I see the strawberry on a piece of shortcake, I'll say "You can have mine." I like the whole fruit itself, but fruit that's been processed is no good. If I get like a fruit tart or something with a ton of fruit on it, I wonder if I can cope with it. (laughs)
---So, how was New Year's at Hitsugi's house?
H: I didn't even do the basic things like Hatsumode*. Or eat Toshikoshi soba*. Usually I spend it with my parents. The new year comes, we say "Happy New Year," to each other with embarrassed smiles. (Laughs) This year too, I spent it at my parents' house. I don't really think about going elsewhere at that time. If i'm not there in the instant the year ticks over to the new one, I think my parents would be pretty lonely.
---What sort of Zoni* do you eat? It varies by region, doesn't it? ((Yep!))
H: Ah, really? What do you have in yours?
---At my house, it's yellowtail ((fish)), finely-chopped konbu ((kelp)), burdock, carrots, spinach and round mochi.
H: Ah, round? Ours has green leaves floating in it. ((ROFLMAO XDDD))
---What? Mitsuba? ((honewort))
H: Yeah, Mitsuba. (laughs) Also chicken and square mochi, and daikon ((Japanese radish)) I think. Green onion? I dunno.
---You're forgetful. (laughs)
H: Really? The style of it varies, huh....
---Do you hang up koi banners*?
H: No. Because our yard wasn't that wide.
---But nowadays, you can get apartment-sized ones to hang on your veranda.
H: Ah, there are little toy-sized ones. But at the farm where some friends live, it's amazing, they have five humungous ones flapping around. But at my parents' place, we never really did that kind of thing.
---Did you do anything for Tanabata* during kindergarten or elementary school? Like writing wishes?
H: Ah, I did that. But it's not really interesting. I'm always like "What's the deal with Tanabata?" (laughs)
---Really? You don't think it's romantic......?
H: Huh, Tanabata is romantic? ((@_@))
---But Orihime and Hikoboshi can't meet during the year!
H: Ah, they can actually meet then?
---(laughs) Yes, they do!
H: Where? ((AHAHAHAHAHAHHA. Lawd, I love this guy XD))
---In the Milky Way, by way of a bridge of magpies......if you don't have an interest in it it's kind of unusual (laughs). Since it's actually the thing you consider your personal Fantasia, isn't it?
H: What? My "Personal Fantasia"? (laughs)
---You like outer space and mysterious things, don't you?
H: I love them, I love them. But in the end, mysteries...... Ah, Orihime and Hikoboshi fall into that category, huh......
---Now you're just talking to yourself. (laughs)
H: Mysteries are things you can't prove one way or the other. Although there may be people who do know the truth about them.
---Ack (laughs), I myself don't really go around saying that Orihime and Hikoboshi exist, but...
H: AHAHA! I think it's fun to think about things like "what IS that?"; but then if they were to announce officially that they had discovered a UFO, I think I'd lose interest. Because for me, mysteries are interesting simply because I don't understand them.
---Things where they probably exist but you don't know where or how are fun, huh?
H: It's kind of a tangent, but a theory behind the scale "Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do" is that it came from Hebrew. ((Not sure where he got this; I thought it was Latin ^^;)) Wasn't "12" made famous because of the liberation of some priests, historically? ((He may be referring to the 12 tribes of Israel)) It's on clocks, and in "one dozen," and on a piano, from do((re-mi)) to ti, the black and white keys together add up to 12. With that, the number 13 seems strange; it's more than an octave, so it seems like part of an unknown world.
---Wow!
H: Each individual sound in "Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do" may also have a meaning. We don't know what follows the "Ti" (死)(("shi," Death)) after "So-la" (空)(("sora," Sky)), so after that is something we don't know...
---So you think Japanese has Hebrew blended in?
H: Yes. It even seems like the country's name, "Nihon" ((Japan)) came from Hebrew*. But that's just one theory. Even if it isn't true, if you look at music from that perspective, I think it's fun.
---Mysterious, isn't it.
H: I love riddles.
---So, let's move on. What Japanese movies do you like?
H: It's not really impressive, but I was really affected by Beat Takeshi's work as the lead in "Chi to Hone" ((Blood and Bones)). He's incredibly frightening.
---That one was shocking.
H: I think Takeshi's movies ("Chi to Hone" was directed by Yoichi Sai) have both good and bad aspects to them, but his power of expression is really strong. I like "Zatoichi," a film Kitano Takeshi directed. ((And starred in. SO AWESOME, that movie ;_;))
---Director Kitano Takeshi is also actor Beat Takeshi.
H: That scene where they're building the house, there's a rhythm using various kinds of sounds. That was cool. The part when the peasants are working in the fields and their hoes are making a rhythm. Each individual scene makes an impact. ((Comedians)) Downtown-san are like that too; there's a special sense you get with the work of those comedians.
---Film, comedy and music are really all fine arts, aren't they?
H: The forms of each are different, but if people enjoy any of them, you can really enjoy producing them, too.
---It enriches your heart, doesn't it. Human beings are amazing. But do animals have any fine arts of their own? ((Orz. I swear that's what the question is...))
H: I dunno. (laughs) I don't think they really have a media outlet of their own.
---(laughs) Well then, as for Japanese Rock, has Hitsugi added something to it?
H: I haven't actually seen any ((Kabuki)), but there's kind of a Kabuki* image to it. I got into it during a time of more slow-paced work, so my makeup is kind of close to Kabuki, I think.
---Yes. It's very unique.
H: Usually, I don't decide the style of my makeup myself, but I've always got bits and pieces of ideas floating around in my head.
---Were you mainly brought up on classic music?
H: Yeah. I like B'z and stuff like that. I listen to Western music sometimes, too. I had Slipknot going the other day, and since I hadn't listened in a while I thought it sounded cool; I also like Britney Spears' newest and older albums. ((Not gonna judge.)) Somewhere in between R&B and Pop? I really like Utada Hikaru and such. I like something mellow-sounding, but with a complex composition. ((He seems to like stuff with kind of a electronica flavoring to it, more recent interests being Lady GaGa and--awesomely enough--Muse)) Lately I like Final Fantasy IV's theme for the last boss,
Kefka.
---Japanese video game music is more well-known, I think. For
DragonQuest's beginning, there's even something like an orchestral concert.
H: Yes. I want to play that one, too. With game music, even if I just hear a song, and it's from a game I played a long time ago, it'll come back to me and hit me in the chest, making me think "I wanna play that again." Also, with regards to Japanese rock, I don't think I can ever forget X-JAPAN or LUNA SEA. They're what turned me on to learning guitar. That's where my roots are.
---The rest of the world is hearing more Visual Kei lately, huh.
H: I don't really know what the reaction of the rest of the world is, for example, with the influx of Korean pop culture and Asian stars making more of an impact, I'm not really up to date on that. Are Asians well-accepted by the rest of the world, I wonder.
---Aren't there some people doing well? Like ((composer)) Ryuuichi Sakamoto, or actor Ken Watanabe.
H: My impression of the people who are out in the world and doing things is that they're people who are overcoming a lot of hurdles.
---In whatever field, it makes you happy to see Japanese people get recognition, doesn't it?
H: Yes. I don't know any of them personally, but I'm happy when Japanese athletes win gold in olympic events, even if I wasn't interested in the actual competition. I think "Do your best!" for Japanese people in the major leagues, and even athletes I don't really know. From that, somewhere inside I am more aware of being a Japanese person.
---I totally agree.
H: In the same way, I think that any Japanese band who plays overseas is really something. Doing things like winning MTV awards and doing well on the Billboard charts. In the annals of history, will that which is called Visual Kei last? If so, I don't really like wondering about when it will disappear from all memory.
---Visual Kei is well-founded here, even though traditional Japanese culture is disappearing. Like with ((Tokyo's)) Akihabara.
H: Yeah really. (laugh) Akihabara got big really fast, didn't it. Three years ago I hadn't even been there once. (laugh) Japan is trying hard this way, too.
---Have you been overseas?
H: I've never been. Even though I definitely want to.
---For now, where do you want to go?
H: For my first trip overseas? I'd like to go see Monaco. ((LOLLLL))
---Ohhh. Rather elite, isn't it.
H: That place is where celebs from all over the world gather, isn't it? I don't really want to blend in with those kinds of celebrities, but I'd like to check out their lifestyle and values. In that sense, if I can go to Africa or wherever it would be good. I want to take a peek at countries whose people's values are greatly different from my own. If I played a cassette tape of Nightmare for some people in an African tribe, they'd definitely be like "?" (laugh)
---They'd jump up in surprise, wouldn't they? If you went in the clothes and makeup you wear on stage.
H: I'd probably end up surrounded with spears pointed at me (laughs). But I'd want to see that kind of reaction. I want friends from that different a culture from my own. That would definitely have a good sort of influence on one's own life.
---You can develop a new point of view, can't you? When I've been looking at Japan from the point of a foreign country, it's like I'm seeing it afresh.
H: Where did you go abroad?
---Spain, for one.
H: Ah, I want to go to Spain! I haven't even gone there via Google Earth yet.
---......But you said you had (laugh).
H: Well, I'll confess (laugh). I haven't even taken a world trip via Google Earth.
---(laugh) Well, what do you find appealing about Spain?
H: I like the look of the streets and houses, and I like the architecture.
---Antonio Gaudi, right?
H: I want to see Sagurada Familia and the like. When I had a look via Google Earth it was cool to see how the areas around it were built up. Spain's "Streets of Living to the Full"?
---Well, a "Country Living to the Full"?
H: If it were called that it would be annoying, probably. ((Because it's so long.))
---That's not something you'd say if you had that point of view, though.
H: Ahaha! I wanna eat Paella. ((Oo; ROFL))
---The Paella in Japan's Spanish restaurants is good, though.
H: Wahaha! Lately, in my free time, I've always been going on little world trips via Google Earth. I went to Easter Island and went to see the Nazca Lines*.
---Cool, I want to go too.
H: You can go with your computer (laugh). Although it ended up being less of a trip than I imagined!
---You don't have much interest in Japan's ((castle)) ruins or architecture?
H: If it's Japan, I think Nagoya is pretty awesome, and when I went to Nara I really loved the Five-story Pagoda. I want to go see the Big Buddha statue, since I didn't get to last time. I also want to see Itsukushima Shrine ((The famous "Floating Torii" off Hiroshima. It's BEAUTIFUL ;_;)). And to go along with the other mysterious places, the
sunken remains off Okinawa.
---Like the civilization of Atlantis.
H: Yes. I want to see that, too. ((XD))
---Getting more local ((to Sendai, his hometown)), isn't Matsushima pretty?
H: ......Er, well, when I was in high school and playing hooky I would do things like go hang out at Matsushima (laugh). Even now the feeling I had from that time is still fresh; it's more than simply being moved.
---It's like "A-Ah Matsushima ya" ((A famous haiku by))(Matsuo Bashou).
H: There were ((pleasant)) things like jellyfish floating around in the ocean, and spots with some kind of spiritual energy.
---And now, moving on to a different topic, what do you think about Japanese women? What are some points that you'd want in one?
H: (laugh) The topic changed really dramatically. I've dealt with girls a lot (laugh)((He may be joking, since the vast majority of Nightmare fans are female)). Aside from that, it doesn't have to be the ((traditional Japanese women's)) "walk three steps behind her master" sort of thing. Typically, the ones who I encounter find me disagreeable. I wouldn't want her to look down on me. Also, sometimes, if something happens where I might criticize her a little, I'd hope she could take it. Also, it's pretty typical, but I'd want her to be family-oriented. As for "Can clean thoroughly" and "Cook perfectly," well, if she can do these things to some degree it would be nice.
---What about protecting you?
H: Yes. I'd want to be able to protect her, too. Also......I want her to encourage me. ......And thinking on it, I wonder if a calmer person would be better than someone more lively.
---You don't want someone tugging you along?
H:Yeah. Coming over at like 8am and declaring "We're going to Disneyland!" is definitely out. Early mornings are bad, but I'm not sure about Disneyland, either.
---You sound like an old man.
H: No no no (laugh). Like I said before, doing things one-on-one is hard for me.
---Ah, it's no good because of THAT. A laid-back person is better?
H: Yup. Someone with composure is better. I don't like someone who's flighty, so I want someone I can feel secure with.
---You seem to like the classic Japanese type, don't you?
H: E-er, well...really? (laugh)
---In what sort of situation do you have one of those instances where you think "I'm really Japanese, huh"?
H: It's just a small thing, but I like tatami ((floor mats made of rice grass)) because they make me feel relaxed. Why is that I wonder? Could it be carved into my DNA?
---Tatami?
H: HAHAHA. No, a Japanese person's DNA. You get it with tatami, and of course there's the times when I'm eating delicious Japanese food and I think "I am definitely Japanese." Or when I'm eating soba ((noodle type)) with chopsticks. I also like kanji. Although I can't write it at all (laugh) I still wonder why I like it.
---Do you have a favorite ((kanji)) character or characters?
H: 喜怒哀楽 ((Ki do ai raku, To "Let your feelings show")). Because it's kanji that makes me feel like a human being. Isn't life basically made up of "Can I show my feelings?"
---Yep. ........Well, it seems like this is the way with other animals, too. So when you come home, isn't Kokoa ((his chihuahua)) happy?
H: It's the same with animals, too (laugh)
---Within yourself, is there something distinctly "manly" that you feel you must believe in?
H: The thing that comes with being a guy is that everything must be fun. There are things that are no fun when you're by yourself or otherwise, but if you look for the fun in them they're very easy to work through. It's not particularly necessary to laugh while doing something tiring, but I feel that I want the ability to be able to change the situation into something fun. For example, when there's something you always do, it creates a rhythm that makes you wonder how it will continue. If you look for a little bit of fun in everything, you feel like you can always keep on walking forward. If there's nothing for me to enjoy then I feel like it's all over, but then I wonder "What else is there?" People who wonder what there IS that's pleasant have a pretty narrow view of things, I think.
---They won't see any of the good points, will they.
H: Right. Changing your view of things is good. It makes it very boring to not even look at the silhouette of ((I think he means "not consider something in depth")) a situation, so if you look at it from different angles or in a different light you can see it as something else entirely. If you look at a cup from the side, it appears square, but if you look at it from overhead, isn't it round?
---And if you don't sip from it, you don't know what flavor it contains.
H: That's it, isn't it? If you change your point of view, you'll be able to enjoy whatever.
---And what about you? Do you think everything can be changed into a "Plus"?
H: I want to change it, yes. Of course, there are difficult times, but I never wonder whether or not I want to live. I've never had the thought that I want to die, nor do I understand it. I think wishing for success is very important. I heard it somewhere, that "The moment you are born is like winning the lottery."
---So one is lucky simply to be born*?
H: Yes. When I first heard that, I had to think about it a little. Of course we have high hopes in the case of our dreams, but if you can look at life as if you've already won something, anything will make you feel lucky. No worries. Even saying that, there are always some troubles, aren't there?
---But you have to keep a positive attitude.
H: Yup. If it becomes something good in the end, it's better. It's "Falling seven times and taking the eighth step forward." Sometimes, when we take on another live, I will think along those lines. Like, that we can't quite perform a proper one-man ((single act live)), and I'll wonder if the girls who come to see us think it's a good show, or do they think it's not? After lives, my reaction has been to spend my time only wondering "Did they enjoy it or not?" But, I often catch myself thinking while watching other artists on stage that they make it look like they're having a good time. Knowing that, I know that if I don't enjoy myself onstage having a good time will become impossible. So I try to completely swap out that bad mood for "Let's go have fun doing this," instead.
---So it's like the tagline from that one movie ((I can't think of which one this is --;)): "When the king breaks down in tears, the country's people collapse."
H: It's like that. I think it's something like that. Like "How is doing my part affecting all this?"
---Yes.
H: If you go back and re-read interviews I've done in the past, they're probably more negative. But, simply stated, because I understand better now those particular parts have changed. Because I am able to say "I can change this into something positive," just saying "It can't be done," became unacceptable.
---I think you became mentally stronger.
H: Yup. I think I was really negative. I said nothing but stuff like "I suck." (Smiles bitterly). Even now, I'm not fully confident; I don't always broadcast a message to everyone that that kind of attitude is better, or receive everything fully via my antenna ((his words, lol)). So I think "Let's try to enjoy this."
---Yes. Being the king wouldn't be fun to begin with, anyway.
H: That's what most guys would... well, that's at least my own belief.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NOTES
Wa: Japanese-ness. Traditional Japanese culture or influence.
Rurouni Kenshin: A very popular manga about a samurai assassin during the Meiji era.
Konbu: A kind of seaweed. Not as gross as you'd think.
Bancha: A grade of green tea.
Tamagokake Gohan: A bowl of rice with egg.
Natto Gohan: A bowl of rice with natto--fermented soybeans--on top.
Jinbei: Kind of like a kimono, but two pieces: a short jacket and loose shorts/pants.
Hatsumode: One's first shrine visit of the New Year.
Toshikoshi soba: Buckwheat noodles, eaten on New Year's eve. The long noodle is supposed to equal long life. I think.
Zoni: Rice cakes; you eat them in a savory soup with various things added. Another New Year's food.
Koi Nobori (banners): Giant carp banners that are hung up outside homes for Children's Day (May 5th). They're supposed to signify the strength to swim upstream, against life's challenges.
Tanabata: July 7th, the Star Festival. Celebration of an ancient Chinese legend of two lovers doomed to meet only once a year.
Nihon: The kanji for Nihon (Japan) are "Day/Sun" and "Book," and they come from Chinese. The other version of Nihon, "Nippon" is just a Portuguese rendition of it; we later got "Japan" from this. I'm not sure about where the Chinese readings of kanji characters came from BEFORE China; that's a deeper study into Linguistics than I have time for at the moment. XD
Kabuki: A form of traditional Japanese theatre, with elaborate costumes and extremely long running times. XD Fullface's costume in Zekkomon is also Kabuki-inspired. XDDD
Nazca Lines: A "Mystery spot" in Peru where there are giant drawings etched into the ground. No one has been able to figure out why they're there. :3
Being lucky to have been born: This may have special meaning for him; he has mentioned before that he was meant to have had two older brothers. :