First Entry of 2007
Well, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day came and went, and it's the year 2007. Well, I'll go ahead and talk about how my life's been since I last posted, because I figured that people would probably want to know how I've been and what all I've been thinking these days. Well, I'll go ahead and start with life from the last time I posted.
Throughout the month of December, work has been nothing but frustrating and crazy. I know customers don't mean to, and I do admit, I try to take on too many things at one time at work quite often, but during one of the days before Chrismas, I pretty much got so frustrated with work that I was became extremely aggitated. Of course, that always led to customer complaints on me two or three days before Christmas Eve.
One of the most visible examples of a customer complaint was when I was trying to do other things that my Assistant Manager wanted me to do while trying to help customers and other things at the same time. I was trying to restock the televisions when a customer wanted me to hold a television for her. Technically, I could hold it for her until she was shopping since it was the last television we had (it was a 27" ilo Digital SDTV), but I really didn't want to bother with it and the product that she wanted in Home Furniture, so I told her that I wouldn't be able to hold the television for that long. Eventually, after being asked about it repeatedly, I dealt with the television by taking the current television off of the six-wheeler cart I had, pushing it a few inches away from the cart, and loaded the heavy television on the cart. Then, I went to furniture to load her item onto the six-wheeler. The customer didn't care for my attitude, and some of the customers didn't care for what I did either. I didn't end up doing the carryout, because my Assistant Manager and another associate did it, but I ended up in the office. In the end, I literally broke down, because I felt mad, frustrated that I couldn't appease customers and management at the same time, etc. to the point to where they thought I was hyperventilating. After that though, my workload dropped to just taking care of customers at the video game case. The next few days before Christmas Eve and after Christmas Day, it was still busy, but I still had a limited workload to avoid being overloaded again.
Throughout that ordeal, it definitely made me question my future at Wal-Mart and whether I wanted to stay with them throughout my college career or seek another job that does not involve retail. I'm still debating about whether or not I want to remain at Wal-Mart to this day, because although I'm not doing as much as I did during the holidays, I have never been this frustrated working at a job as I have been working at Wal-Mart.
I admit, I don't handle stress all that well, and I try my best to avoid being in stressful situations, but sometimes, it happens, and I try to deal with it to the best of my ability.
As for Christmas Day, I mostly kept to myself until my brother and his wife showed up for dinner. For gifts this year, I received two shirts, a $50 check, and two Christmas cards. I wasn't disappointed at all, because I didn't ask for anything. The only reason I didn't ask for anything is because if I wanted something, I would've bought it myself.
Regarding New Year's Eve, the only thing I did this year was work from 8 am to 5 pm. After that, I came home and straightened my hair. I was incredibly suprised how long my hair was when it was done, but then again, I haven't had a haircut in over two years. However, I won't have the large afro for too much longer, because I'll be getting it cut back into my traditional flattop very soon. Anyway, here are the before and after pictures from my hair straightening:
Before:
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After:
As for New Year's Resolutions, I only made one: walk everyday. The reason why I made this particular resolution is because I want to lose weight. Personally, I feel I need to lose 40 to 60 lbs., and hopefully, by walking everyday, I'll gradually start to lose weight until I get to the target weight that I want to be. However, I haven't set a target weight for myself yet.
After giving it some serious thought over the past several month, I've decided that although I'll always love and care about my primary love interest, Krystal, I've decided that the best thing for me to do is to give up on her. I've been thinking about it more lately as the New Year crept closer, because it was during the summer months of 1997 that I started to fall for Krystal, and I never truly moved on. I always thought to myself that there had to be something I could do to get her to see that I'm a great person to consider dating. I always thought to myself that one day, Krystal would see that I would love her unconditionally. However, after giving it a considerable amount of thought, I feel like that while I'll always be a friend to her and she'll always have a place in my heart, there will never be an "us", so to speak.
Now before anyone says anything, this is purely my fault. When she moved to Texas in 1998, I should have let go and moved on. However, I kept believing that Krystal was so special and so amazing, no matter if she moved to England, I would still try to show her (albet, in my own subtle and pathetic way) that I would be worth dating. I felt like she was the one for me. It honestly pains me finally having to admit to myself that I'll never date Krystal, but now I know that if it was meant to happen, it probably would've happened a long time ago. Anyway, I'll always love Krystal, and she'll always be a friend to me first.
So, where does that leave me?
Honestly, I don't know. I don't understand girls at all. I try to understand them, but in the end, I don't understand them. At the same time, I feel like girls will never truly understand me and accept me for who I am. However, I do feel as they'll accept me as a friend though. It seems to be my luck with girls: I could be one of their best friends (which is something I like, because I like being there for my friends), but when it comes down to being an item with a girl, I'm passed along, because I seem too much like a close brother to them, there's something about me that they're not attracted to, or they feel that we're so close as friends, it would ruin things if we became a couple.
In the end, I understand things such as Japanese anime, some American cartoons, some European cartoons, video games, computer games, computer technology, and various other things. I understand those things, because I've been exposed to them all of my life. However, when it comes to girls, I can be as dumb as a brick, because my exposure to girls is rather limited. Usually, unless it's deliberately said to me in my face or typed out to me, I'm oblivious as to whether a girl likes me or not. If there were books upon the subject on figuring out whether a girl likes you or not, then that would make my life a whole lot easier. However, as far as I know, such books don't exist.
I hate admitting that I don't understand girls. I honestly wonder at times why I even bother. Perhaps, I'm destined to live alone on the top of a hill in a remote part of a city.
Ladies and gentlemen, let 2007 begin, because I have no clue if this will be a good year or a bad year for me.
Ciao for now!