Kissing Cards - 6/? - Xiumin/Exo
Title: Kissing Cards - Chapter 06 - The Joker
Rating: PG-13 for a lot of swearing and shit.
Pairing: Xiumin/Exo , Xiumin/Jongdae
Word Count: 4,827
Summary: Minseok is sleep-deprived, Jongdae might have cannibalistic cheeks, and Disney continues to ruin everyone's childhood.
A/N: So late. I'm so sorry. =(
Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05 | Chapter 07 | Chapter 08
Minseok spent the entirety of Thursday night laying in bed with The Joker card in one hand and his phone in the other.
He’d read that text Luhan had sent him when he was in the middle of not wanting to make out with Baekhyun, and all it had said was ‘payback’s a bitch, son’ which made very little sense. It made even less sense when he asked Luhan about it, because all Luhan did was grin evilly and say “you were taking too long and I was bored by myself. So you had to make out with Baekhyun again, huh?”
Minseok kind of gave up trying to understand his life.
Though, the attempt didn’t work too well, since he didn’t sleep at all. His brain wouldn’t shut off long enough to let him - he was either trying to understand Luhan and his weirdness or trying to figure out who The Joker was. By the time his alarm went off, he had answers for neither, and was so tired that he seriously considered just ignoring class and spending the rest of the day in bed.
Unfortunately he was pretty sure that even if he never moved again he wouldn’t sleep until at least one of the two questions were answered, so eventually he managed to pull himself into an upright position.
The only good thing about this was that Luhan was still soundly sleeping - snoring softly with his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks every time the alarm clock gave a loud beep - which meant that Minseok could shower first for once.
He did so with as much gusto as he could muster, taking his time and smiling smugly to himself until Luhan opened the bathroom door and glowered at him.
“It’s my turn,” Luhan stated, and Minseok shook his head.
“I’m almost done,” he promised, too tired to give much of an argument though the shower was really helping to wake him up. It was a nice surprise. He missed being able to do this.
“Minseok,” Luhan began, a deep frown on his face as he stared Minseok down, “if you’re not out of that shower in two minutes I can and will drop trou and get in there with you.”
Minseok’s serene smile abruptly dropped, and suddenly it felt as if the water had grown colder. “You wouldn’t,” he said, though he had a bad feeling that Luhan was actually shameless enough to go through with it.
Luhan promptly pulled his shirt over his head, giving Minseok a challenging look. “It’s my shower.”
“You don’t own it-” Minseok began, but then Luhan started pulling down his pajama bottoms and Minseok admitted defeat. “Fine,” he snapped, pouting as he grabbed his towel, careful to keep it away from the shower head as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped it around his waist. “Son of a bitch.”
The self-satisfied smirk that Luhan shot him as he finished shedding his clothes made Minseok want to punch something. Mostly Luhan’s face, but he’d settle for a wall if it came to that.
It wasn’t that Minseok had a problem seeing Luhan naked (they’d stopped caring about that years ago) but he had a problem with being naked in the same room with an equally naked Luhan, because awkward. Luhan used it to his advantage much more than Minseok thought was advisable. One day, he promised himself, he wouldn’t back down from the challenge.
Until that day came however, Luhan could fucking suck it.
Minseok heaved a forlorn sigh and walked to his dresser to grab his clothes for the day. “Fucking Luhan,” he mumbled darkly under his breath, removing the towel from his waist so that he could use it to dry off his hair.
As if he could hear Minseok’s quiet curses, Luhan began singing ‘Love U Like U’ at the top of his lungs, and Minseok wondered when the insanity would end.
He was just about to pull on his boxers when the dorm room door opened and Yixing entered. He took one look at Minseok and let out a high-pitched scream (somehow managing to pass falsetto entirely and enter ‘dog whistle’ territory), immediately throwing his arms in front of his face to cover his eyes.
Minseok shot him a disdainful look. “What the fuck, Yixing?” He asked, tone flat as he went about getting dressed. “You’ve seen me naked before.”
“Everything is different now!” Yixing wailed, crouching down on the floor in front of the still-open door and crying pitifully into his knees. “Why are you doing this to me!”
“What the hell are you-” Minseok began, cutting off when the bathroom door opened and Luhan stuck his head out to give Minseok an incredulous look.
“Was that you?” He asked seriously, not seeming to notice Yixing.
Minseok had never felt so offended in his life. “I don’t think I could ever reach that level of dying whale,” he stated, pointing an accusing finger at where Yixing was curled up in the fetal position on the floor.
Luhan waggled his eyebrows in Minseok’s general direction before disappearing back into the bathroom. He’d created another puddle of water on the floor. Minseok refused to clean it up.
Taemin passed by the open door, not pausing in his stride as he eyes Minseok’s naked chest and gave a joking ‘rawr’ that caused Yixing to let out another feminine shriek.
Minseok wondered if maybe spending the day in bed wouldn’t be a bad idea after all.
----
Minseok and Luhan were having a very serious staring contest during Calculous. Normally Minseok did everything in his power to make sure that Luhan paid attention during class - specifically this class, since he sucked at math enough even without the distractions - but it was more for Minseok’s benefit rather than Luhan’s need to screw around.
They were only halfway through the day, and Minseok wasn’t completely sure he was going to make it. He was an old man after all (not that he’d ever say that out loud, for fear of someone hearing him) and couldn’t afford to go an entire twenty-four hours without sleeping. As it was, every time he so much as blinked he had to keep himself from passing out.
Hence the staring contest.
“You’ll never win,” Luhan hissed, and Minseok felt eyes on the back of his neck that felt suspiciously like Yifan’s, though there was no way in hell he’d turn around to find out.
“I will,” Minseok replied, keeping his voice low so as to not draw attention to them - the last thing he needed was for their teacher to give him a detention. No reason to make the day longer than it absolutely had to be. “And when I do, we’re going to switch the shower schedule, and I’ll never leave you any hot water.”
Why did his eyelids have to feel so heavy when he was busy making threats? Couldn’t they at least wait?
“Then I’ll just start showering with you,” Luhan pointed out before crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue.
“I’ll stab you in the face,” Minseok stated, puffing out his cheeks until Luhan’s lips twitched upwards.
There was an uncomfortable burn starting to spread within his eyeballs. He sincerely hoped that Luhan would lose soon.
“I’ll punch you in the spleen,” Luhan shot back, reaching over to tap Minseok lightly on the cheek with the back of his hand. “And then I’ll steal all of the good mouthwash.”
“I’ll have sex on your bed,” Minseok replied, feeling smug when Luhan’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
“That’s fine as long as it’s with me,” the Chinese boy said, and before Minseok knew what he was doing, he’d already blinked and let out a confused (and unfortunately loud) “What?”
Luhan shushed him even as he began cackling quietly. “I am the reigning lord and master!”
“Is there something you two would like to share with the class?”
Minseok looked over to see that the professor - and in turn, the rest of the room - was giving them an expectant look.
“No, seonsangnim,” Luhan answered, giving the professor a sugary sweet smile that Minseok quickly replicated. “Minseokie was just trying to help me understand Riemann Sums.”
Minseok nodded in vigorous agreement as the professor shot them a skeptical look. They waited with bated breath until finally he sighed and turned back towards the blackboard.
“I hate your face,” Minseok mumbled to Luhan under his breath, and Luhan sniggered.
“If by that you mean you love-”
“I mean what I say!”
----
“My mom sent us kimbap,” Luhan said, slipping his hand through Minseok’s as they made their way towards the usual staircase for lunch. “You’re welcome.”
Minseok - who had reached his second wind during Calculus and was now inexplicably giddy - only smiled widely and swung their arms back and forth. “Cool.”
“I called her yesterday when I was waiting for you...” Luhan kept talking but Minseok stopping paying attention, too busy watching the way that the ceiling went in and out of focus the longer he stared at it. “...and then she told me to tell you to stop being such a whore - okay, sweetie,” Minseok realized belatedly that they’d stopped moving, “you can’t walk and look up at the same time. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Minseok lowered his gaze - too far, that was the floor, he needed to readjust - to look at Luhan. “I’m fine,” he promised, giving his part-time roommate, full-time saucy lover a winning smile. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you, Lu Ge?”
Luhan stared blankly at Minseok. He kept going in and out of focus too. It was kind of amusing.
“You’re my best friend, and I love you,” Minseok stated, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. Luhan continued to give Minseok a blank stare. “Thank you for being my friend,” Minseok finished, smiling sweetly.
Luhan reached over and gave him a condescending pat on the head. “That was a little scary, Seokkie,” he told Minseok, looking only slightly worried. “Please don’t do it again.”
Minseok’s face fell and his eyes burned and Luhan didn’t love him! “Why don’t you love me?” He cried, sniffling and wiping hurriedly at the corners of his eyes where tears had begun to appear.
Through his rapidly blurring vision, Minseok caught the dumbfounded expression on Luhan’s face quickly turning to panic. “Holy shit why are you crying?” He shouted, flailing his arms hopelessly in front of Minseok’s face while Minseok seriously considered running away and finding a dark corner to curl up in.
“I don’t know,” Minseok sobbed, hiding his face in his hands as more tears began leaking onto his cheeks. “I’m just really confused and tired and I kind of want chocolate and why couldn’t the fox and the hound just be friends?”
Luhan was silent for a moment before Minseok heard a telltale sniffle and then arms were being thrown around him and Luhan was wailing into his shoulder.
They stood in the middle of the hallway crying against each other for an undisclosed amount of time before finally being interrupted by a cleared throat and an awkward “uh, am I interrupting something?”
Minseok pulled away from Luhan long enough to glare at the newcomer (which turned out to be Yixing, who was looking terribly uncomfortable with the current situation) and said “yes. Yes you are.”
“Mufasa,” Luhan whimpered, and Minseok found himself quickly rising towards hysterics.
“Why did Disney have to ruin my childhood!”
Needless to say, Yixing hadn’t stood a chance.
----
By the time they made it through Advanced Symbolic Logic (during which Minseok pondered how his friends had managed to score a pass in that class because ‘Luhan’ and ‘Yixing’ were hardly synonymous with 'logic’.) the tears were long gone and so was Minseok’s second (and third) wind.
He was pretty sure he would’ve passed out already if Luhan and Yixing hadn’t begun taking turns poking him in the cheek every other minute.
“Only Government and English left,” Luhan reminded him encouragingly as the bell rang and Minseok stumbled to his feet. His eyes were in a half-closed state and he couldn’t feel his feet even as the two of them began dragging him towards the door. “You can manage two more classes, right?”
“I’m not learning anything,” Minseok mumbled sleepily, leaning his head on Yixing’s shoulder despite the fact that Yixing was desperately trying to keep him from doing so. “Can’t I go to bed yet?”
“Two more classes,” Luhan repeated evasively, causing Minseok to whimper.
“Look alive, Sunshine,” Yixing added, nudging his shoulder so that Minseok’s head would return to an upright position. “We don’t need the school to go into a panic because someone mistakes you for a zombie.”
“I feel like a zombie,” Minseok slurred, blinking his heavy eyelids even as he did his best to straighten up and look more awake. “This is all your fault,” he added to Luhan, sending him a glare.
Luhan was smart enough to look abashed.
“Hey, hyung!” Minseok flinched slightly when he felt an unfamiliar arm wrap around his shoulder and looked over sluggishly to see Jongdae giving him a cheeky grin. “Wanna get some Doritos and fuck?”
Minseok wondered if maybe he’d missed something somewhere. He also wished that people would wait until he was fully coherent before asking questions. “No?” He half-asked, watching as Jongdae’s grin fell.
“Why?” He asked, looking genuinely put out. “You don’t like Doritos?”
Minseok didn’t really know how to answer that (because of fucking course he liked Doritos, who didn’t?) so instead he stayed silent, contemplating whether or not Jongdae had just propositioned him or it had been a dream and in reality Yixing was carrying him back to the dorms. He hoped it was the second one, because he was sleepy.
Eventually he managed to get out a thoughtful “Doritos are delicious” which promptly went ignored.
Instead, Jongdae began pulling him away from Luhan and Yixing, who only looked on as their slightly-incoherent friend was kidnapped. “I promise I’ll bring him back in one piece or possibly two bye!” Jongdae shouted to them brightly, waving with his free hand as he dragged Minseok into the unknown.
Minseok decided that maybe he wasn’t dreaming after all, because only reality could be so confusing.
“I need to go to Comparative Politics,” Minseok told Jongdae, though he didn’t bother trying to escape. He probably should have though, because Jongdae was the type of person to hand someone a candy bar laced with acid.
Poor, innocent little BamBam...
“You’re skipping,” Jongdae decided, and Minseok tried hard not to pout.
“But we’re covering the questionable existence of Europe today,” he whined, his head dropping uselessly onto Jongdae’s shoulder as they turned a sharp corner.
“Europe exists,” Jongdae promised, sounding almost amused. Minseok didn’t like him anymore.
“Does it, though?”
Jongdae made a snuffling sound that kind of sounded like laughter. Minseok glared at his jaw, since it was the only part of his face that could be seen from Minseok’s current vantage point. Luckily for Minseok, it was a pretty sweet-looking jaw, so he didn’t have to move his head.
“I’m trying to make this interesting for you, hyung,” Jongdae told him after managing to quell the giggles that had been escaping his lips only moments before. “I know it’ll be difficult for you to accomplish, but please do your best not to ruin it.”
Minseok didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but only shrugged his too-heavy shoulders and mumbled “I make no promises. Did I mention that I’ve really got to go to my Comparative Politics class?” instead of questioning it. Jongdae made more snuffling noises, and Minseok frowned. “Because we’re covering the questionable existence of Europe today.”
He had a moment of deja vu, but eventually decided to ignore it.
“There could be questions about it on the final test, and it’s my last year. I don’t want to fail a class, Jongdae. Especially not Comparative Politics - that’s almost as embarrassing as failing a Theology course, though I guess it’s pretty embarrassing to take a Theology course, so-”
“Hyung,” Jongdae began, cutting off Minseok’s incoherent mumble easily. Minseok stared at his sexy jaw. “You’re babbling and being weird - are you stoned right now?”
Minseok attempted to shake his head, but Jongdae’s shoulder was getting in the way. “Nope. Tired. No sleep ‘till Brooklyn. Are we there yet?”
“We’ve been here for almost five minutes,” Jongdae answered flatly, though his jaw looked highly amused by Minseok’s behavior. Minseok didn’t like it anymore. “See,” he continued, pointing up at some mysterious thing. Minseok reluctantly raised his head only to realize that they were standing in the doorway of what appeared to be an empty classroom of some kind, and right above them was what may or may not have been a sprig of mistletoe.
“Is that mistletoe?” Minseok asked, blinking at the plant in confusion.
“Interesting, right?” Jongdae replied, sounding smug.
“But it’s only August,” Minseok mumbled, quite confused. “Where did you find Mistletoe in August?”
Jongdae shrugged. “I know a guy.”
Minseok nodded. That made sense.
“We’re standing under mistletoe, hyung,” Jongdae continued, nudging Minseok in the side. “Get it?”
“Not really, no,” Minseok admitted, turning his gaze from the mistletoe to his unfortunate kidnapper. “Did you pull me away from Comparative Politics to show me your talents in acquiring poisonous winter plants in the middle of summer?”
Jongdae shot him a cheeky smile. Like...a cheeky smile. Seriously, what the hell was up with Jongdae’s cheeks? How did he get them like that? Was there some sort of cream - “Close enough,” Jongdae told him, and was it Minseok or were cheeks getting closer? Were they going to eat him? Oh god, he didn’t want to get eaten by Jongdae’s cheeks! He still had so much to live for! What if he never got to see 1TYM’s comeback, which was definitely not just a product of his and Minho’s shared fanboy wet dreams and totally going to happen one day -
“It’s only been eight years we still have a shot!” Minseok managed to squeak before he felt something warm and soft press against his lips. All thoughts of never getting to see Song Baekkyoung retake the stage flew out of his mind as he realized belatedly that they were standing under mistletoe and Jongdae was obviously The Joker and he really needed to invest in never pulling an all-nighter again because wow impossible stupidity.
Jongdae seemed to realize that Minseok would be a little slow on the uptake because he stayed stock still, waiting for Minseok to catch up. And after an awkward moment Minseok did, allowing his burning eyes close and letting out a small sigh against Jongdae’s lips before haphazardly throwing his arms over Jongdae’s shoulders and pulling him closer.
Minseok felt Jongdae give a lazy grin before he was being pushed against the doorframe, the corner of which was digging uncomfortably into his back though Minseok wasn’t of the frame of mind to care. His brain felt kind of fuzzy and with his eyes closed everything took on a dream-like quality that had Minseok letting out a quiet whimper when he felt thin fingers thread through his hair and a tongue slip between his lips.
If Minseok said that Jongdae was a bad kisser and it didn’t feel a little amazing, he would be blatantly lying. Jongdae had to be the best so far - Minseok becoming embarrassingly pliant as the younger man pulled Minseok’s bottom lip between his teeth - and so Minseok found it increasingly odd how difficult it was to stay conscious even as his fingers tingled with the urge to touch and his heart pounded in his chest.
But alas, he was beginning to fall asleep. He could feel it coming - hazy as everything was - and with an unhappy whine he reluctantly pushed Jongdae back a few inches.
“Jongdae," Minseok mumbled against his lips, swallowing thickly and slowly pushing him back further. It felt like his eyelids weighed twenty pounds, but after a minute he managed to get them open. "Look, normally I'd be all over this," he began, tongue heavy in his mouth, "but I'm pretty sure if I close my eyes again I'm going to pass out, and I really don't want you to feel that incompetent."
"I understand, hyung," Jongdae told him, leaning his forehead against Minseok's and petting the back of his head comfortingly. It felt really good. Minseok's eyes were beginning to shut of their own accord again.
"It's really not fair to leave you with those kinds of emotional scars," Minseok managed to slur out, hot breaths puffing against his lips as Jongdae chuckled.
"Really, hyung, it's fine," he promised, and Minseok felt bad but he was just so tired. "I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t have a grand finale planned, but I can just record it on my phone." Normally Minseok would’ve been worried, because that hardly sounded normal, but he was too busy trying to stay coherent. “Why don't you go to sleep and I'll get you back to your room, okay?"
Minseok nodded sluggishly. And he'd been doing so well. "Fine, he agreed, finally allowing his eyelids to press shut once more, "but if you fuck with me I swear to fucking God you'll regret it."
Minseok heard Jongdae say something about promising nothing before everything faded into beautiful darkness.
----
When Minseok reemerged into the land of the living it was still daylight.
There was a moment spent on figuring out where he was - in his room, on his bed, specifically with his head on Jongdae’s stomach, not that Jongdae seemed to notice since he was too busy snoring softly into Minseok’s pillow.
Minseok was no less exhausted then he’d been when passing out while leaning against a doorframe, but he was awake enough to question things and so question things he did. Specifically why Jongdae was in his bed. And how long he’d been asleep. And where Luhan was, because surely classes had ended for the day already. Most importantly, Minseok needed to find out whether or not anyone had taken notes for him all day because Minseok couldn’t remember using a writing utensil at any point in the recent past, and it was worrying.
Raising a hundred pound hand to rub sleepily at his burning eyes, Minseok sluggishly rolled off of Jongdae, only to poke him in the side a second later. Jongdae mumbled something about rabid squirrels and flung an arm around Minseok’s waist before curling into him.
Normally Minseok was all for cuddles (he was a romantic at heart or some other bullshit that he didn’t want to deal with at the moment) but now was hardly the time, and so Minseok used up even more of his limited energy to poke Jongdae again.
“Why?” Jongdae groaned, moving his head until it rested on Minseok’s bicep. “Go away.”
Not to be deterred, Minseok poked him again. “Why are you here?” He muttered, his voice unattractively croaky until he made a half-assed attempt to clear his throat. “In my bed, I mean,” he added, wiggling his arm in an attempt to get Jongdae off of him. “I don’t want to debate some philosophical crap or what the fuck ever.”
Suddenly seeming much more awake, Jongdae’s eyes popped open and he raised his head to look down at Minseok interestedly. “You’re alive,” he exclaimed, smiling widely when Minseok managed a nod and bouncing the bed slightly as he sat up completely. “Feel better?”
“Feel tired,” Minseok replied darkly, glaring at Jongdae - not because Jongdae had wronged him in any way (that he knew of) - but because he was not awake by choice. “Seriously, not that I mind a whole lot, but why are you here?”
Jongdae shrugged innocently, though his grin turned the slightest bit lecherous. “I wasn’t done with you yet.” Minseok stared at him. “Luckily, I’m a patient person.”
Minseok sighed. “What time is it?” He mumbled, turning away from Jongdae and closing his eyes.
“Probably around dinner time,” Jongdae answered thoughtfully, and Minseok gave an agreeing grunt. That would explain why Luhan wasn’t around to shoot him disapproving looks.
He felt something hard connect with his side and looked over just in time to see Jongdae rest his head on Minseok’s hip. “Wanna see something funny?” He asked, eyes sparkling with mischief and lips curling up slightly at the tips.
Despite himself, Minseok immediately became curious. “Only if it’s quick,” he agreed, waiting until Jongdae sat up again before moving to lay on his back. He watched, only half-interested as Jongdae took his phone out of his pocket and began pushing buttons.
A moment later and Jongdae was laying pressed up against his side, holding the phone up in front of him and pressing play with an excited grin on his face.
Minseok watched the as the screen wobbled for a moment before zooming up to a doorway with mistletoe hanging above it, and realized belatedly that it was the empty classroom that he’d never quite gotten the chance to enter. Five seconds passed before there was a commotion and Minho and Kibum appeared.
Kibum seemed to be attempting to run away and scold Minho all at once, but the volume was turned down too low for Minseok to be able to make out what he was saying. Either way, Minho wasn’t having any of it, giving Kibum an adoring smile that Minseok found a little disturbing.
They both attempted to push their way into the classroom at the same time, and Minseok heard Jongdae’s voice mumble something from the speakers. Kibum and Minho both stared at the camera, looking terribly confused before Kibum glanced up and did a double take. Minho’s expression turned positively ecstatic while Kibum let out an audible shriek that had Minseok wincing in terror despite himself. There was one last shot of Satan giving the camera a glare that promised death before the camera wobbled again and the screen went black.
Minseok slowly turned his head only to see Jongdae already grinning at him. “Don’t you wish you’d been awake to see that in person?” He asked, and Minseok nodded.
“Please tell me Kibum didn’t break the rules of Mistletoe and the two of them totally kissed,” Minseok said, and Jongdae’s grin faded the slightest bit.
“I don’t actually know,” he admitted, looking just a little embarrassed. “Kibum started threatening me so I grabbed your lifeless body and escaped out the window before he could make good on them. I’ll ask Minho when I get back to my room, though.”
“How did you know, though?” Minseok couldn’t help but ask, his curiosity rising. “That they’d be there, I mean?”
Jongdae shrugged. “I know Minho’s schedule, and he’s always talking about Kibum so it was pretty easy to figure out what classes they shared. I figured this way I could kill two birds with one stone - assuming of course that Kibum didn’t kill me in the process, which felt like a very real possibility at the time.”
Minseok snickered. “That was pretty ingenious,” he admitted, watching as Jongdae’s grin turned positively radiant.
“So since I’m so smart do I get a prize?” He asked, voice sugary sweet despite the slightly demonic expression on his face.
Minseok raised a skeptic eyebrow. “What kind of prize?”
Jongdae’s eyebrows waggled suggestively and Minseok almost wanted to groan. Work, work, work...
“Fine,” he agreed, trying not to laugh when Jongdae began clapping his hands like an excited child. “But only until my roommate gets back - Luhan gets weird with this shit.”
----
Cross-Posted on AFF here.
Rating: PG-13 for a lot of swearing and shit.
Pairing: Xiumin/Exo , Xiumin/Jongdae
Word Count: 4,827
Summary: Minseok is sleep-deprived, Jongdae might have cannibalistic cheeks, and Disney continues to ruin everyone's childhood.
A/N: So late. I'm so sorry. =(
Chapter 01 | Chapter 02 | Chapter 03 | Chapter 04 | Chapter 05 | Chapter 07 | Chapter 08
Minseok spent the entirety of Thursday night laying in bed with The Joker card in one hand and his phone in the other.
He’d read that text Luhan had sent him when he was in the middle of not wanting to make out with Baekhyun, and all it had said was ‘payback’s a bitch, son’ which made very little sense. It made even less sense when he asked Luhan about it, because all Luhan did was grin evilly and say “you were taking too long and I was bored by myself. So you had to make out with Baekhyun again, huh?”
Minseok kind of gave up trying to understand his life.
Though, the attempt didn’t work too well, since he didn’t sleep at all. His brain wouldn’t shut off long enough to let him - he was either trying to understand Luhan and his weirdness or trying to figure out who The Joker was. By the time his alarm went off, he had answers for neither, and was so tired that he seriously considered just ignoring class and spending the rest of the day in bed.
Unfortunately he was pretty sure that even if he never moved again he wouldn’t sleep until at least one of the two questions were answered, so eventually he managed to pull himself into an upright position.
The only good thing about this was that Luhan was still soundly sleeping - snoring softly with his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks every time the alarm clock gave a loud beep - which meant that Minseok could shower first for once.
He did so with as much gusto as he could muster, taking his time and smiling smugly to himself until Luhan opened the bathroom door and glowered at him.
“It’s my turn,” Luhan stated, and Minseok shook his head.
“I’m almost done,” he promised, too tired to give much of an argument though the shower was really helping to wake him up. It was a nice surprise. He missed being able to do this.
“Minseok,” Luhan began, a deep frown on his face as he stared Minseok down, “if you’re not out of that shower in two minutes I can and will drop trou and get in there with you.”
Minseok’s serene smile abruptly dropped, and suddenly it felt as if the water had grown colder. “You wouldn’t,” he said, though he had a bad feeling that Luhan was actually shameless enough to go through with it.
Luhan promptly pulled his shirt over his head, giving Minseok a challenging look. “It’s my shower.”
“You don’t own it-” Minseok began, but then Luhan started pulling down his pajama bottoms and Minseok admitted defeat. “Fine,” he snapped, pouting as he grabbed his towel, careful to keep it away from the shower head as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped it around his waist. “Son of a bitch.”
The self-satisfied smirk that Luhan shot him as he finished shedding his clothes made Minseok want to punch something. Mostly Luhan’s face, but he’d settle for a wall if it came to that.
It wasn’t that Minseok had a problem seeing Luhan naked (they’d stopped caring about that years ago) but he had a problem with being naked in the same room with an equally naked Luhan, because awkward. Luhan used it to his advantage much more than Minseok thought was advisable. One day, he promised himself, he wouldn’t back down from the challenge.
Until that day came however, Luhan could fucking suck it.
Minseok heaved a forlorn sigh and walked to his dresser to grab his clothes for the day. “Fucking Luhan,” he mumbled darkly under his breath, removing the towel from his waist so that he could use it to dry off his hair.
As if he could hear Minseok’s quiet curses, Luhan began singing ‘Love U Like U’ at the top of his lungs, and Minseok wondered when the insanity would end.
He was just about to pull on his boxers when the dorm room door opened and Yixing entered. He took one look at Minseok and let out a high-pitched scream (somehow managing to pass falsetto entirely and enter ‘dog whistle’ territory), immediately throwing his arms in front of his face to cover his eyes.
Minseok shot him a disdainful look. “What the fuck, Yixing?” He asked, tone flat as he went about getting dressed. “You’ve seen me naked before.”
“Everything is different now!” Yixing wailed, crouching down on the floor in front of the still-open door and crying pitifully into his knees. “Why are you doing this to me!”
“What the hell are you-” Minseok began, cutting off when the bathroom door opened and Luhan stuck his head out to give Minseok an incredulous look.
“Was that you?” He asked seriously, not seeming to notice Yixing.
Minseok had never felt so offended in his life. “I don’t think I could ever reach that level of dying whale,” he stated, pointing an accusing finger at where Yixing was curled up in the fetal position on the floor.
Luhan waggled his eyebrows in Minseok’s general direction before disappearing back into the bathroom. He’d created another puddle of water on the floor. Minseok refused to clean it up.
Taemin passed by the open door, not pausing in his stride as he eyes Minseok’s naked chest and gave a joking ‘rawr’ that caused Yixing to let out another feminine shriek.
Minseok wondered if maybe spending the day in bed wouldn’t be a bad idea after all.
----
Minseok and Luhan were having a very serious staring contest during Calculous. Normally Minseok did everything in his power to make sure that Luhan paid attention during class - specifically this class, since he sucked at math enough even without the distractions - but it was more for Minseok’s benefit rather than Luhan’s need to screw around.
They were only halfway through the day, and Minseok wasn’t completely sure he was going to make it. He was an old man after all (not that he’d ever say that out loud, for fear of someone hearing him) and couldn’t afford to go an entire twenty-four hours without sleeping. As it was, every time he so much as blinked he had to keep himself from passing out.
Hence the staring contest.
“You’ll never win,” Luhan hissed, and Minseok felt eyes on the back of his neck that felt suspiciously like Yifan’s, though there was no way in hell he’d turn around to find out.
“I will,” Minseok replied, keeping his voice low so as to not draw attention to them - the last thing he needed was for their teacher to give him a detention. No reason to make the day longer than it absolutely had to be. “And when I do, we’re going to switch the shower schedule, and I’ll never leave you any hot water.”
Why did his eyelids have to feel so heavy when he was busy making threats? Couldn’t they at least wait?
“Then I’ll just start showering with you,” Luhan pointed out before crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue.
“I’ll stab you in the face,” Minseok stated, puffing out his cheeks until Luhan’s lips twitched upwards.
There was an uncomfortable burn starting to spread within his eyeballs. He sincerely hoped that Luhan would lose soon.
“I’ll punch you in the spleen,” Luhan shot back, reaching over to tap Minseok lightly on the cheek with the back of his hand. “And then I’ll steal all of the good mouthwash.”
“I’ll have sex on your bed,” Minseok replied, feeling smug when Luhan’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
“That’s fine as long as it’s with me,” the Chinese boy said, and before Minseok knew what he was doing, he’d already blinked and let out a confused (and unfortunately loud) “What?”
Luhan shushed him even as he began cackling quietly. “I am the reigning lord and master!”
“Is there something you two would like to share with the class?”
Minseok looked over to see that the professor - and in turn, the rest of the room - was giving them an expectant look.
“No, seonsangnim,” Luhan answered, giving the professor a sugary sweet smile that Minseok quickly replicated. “Minseokie was just trying to help me understand Riemann Sums.”
Minseok nodded in vigorous agreement as the professor shot them a skeptical look. They waited with bated breath until finally he sighed and turned back towards the blackboard.
“I hate your face,” Minseok mumbled to Luhan under his breath, and Luhan sniggered.
“If by that you mean you love-”
“I mean what I say!”
----
“My mom sent us kimbap,” Luhan said, slipping his hand through Minseok’s as they made their way towards the usual staircase for lunch. “You’re welcome.”
Minseok - who had reached his second wind during Calculus and was now inexplicably giddy - only smiled widely and swung their arms back and forth. “Cool.”
“I called her yesterday when I was waiting for you...” Luhan kept talking but Minseok stopping paying attention, too busy watching the way that the ceiling went in and out of focus the longer he stared at it. “...and then she told me to tell you to stop being such a whore - okay, sweetie,” Minseok realized belatedly that they’d stopped moving, “you can’t walk and look up at the same time. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Minseok lowered his gaze - too far, that was the floor, he needed to readjust - to look at Luhan. “I’m fine,” he promised, giving his part-time roommate, full-time saucy lover a winning smile. “Have I told you how much I appreciate you, Lu Ge?”
Luhan stared blankly at Minseok. He kept going in and out of focus too. It was kind of amusing.
“You’re my best friend, and I love you,” Minseok stated, leaning over to give him a peck on the cheek. Luhan continued to give Minseok a blank stare. “Thank you for being my friend,” Minseok finished, smiling sweetly.
Luhan reached over and gave him a condescending pat on the head. “That was a little scary, Seokkie,” he told Minseok, looking only slightly worried. “Please don’t do it again.”
Minseok’s face fell and his eyes burned and Luhan didn’t love him! “Why don’t you love me?” He cried, sniffling and wiping hurriedly at the corners of his eyes where tears had begun to appear.
Through his rapidly blurring vision, Minseok caught the dumbfounded expression on Luhan’s face quickly turning to panic. “Holy shit why are you crying?” He shouted, flailing his arms hopelessly in front of Minseok’s face while Minseok seriously considered running away and finding a dark corner to curl up in.
“I don’t know,” Minseok sobbed, hiding his face in his hands as more tears began leaking onto his cheeks. “I’m just really confused and tired and I kind of want chocolate and why couldn’t the fox and the hound just be friends?”
Luhan was silent for a moment before Minseok heard a telltale sniffle and then arms were being thrown around him and Luhan was wailing into his shoulder.
They stood in the middle of the hallway crying against each other for an undisclosed amount of time before finally being interrupted by a cleared throat and an awkward “uh, am I interrupting something?”
Minseok pulled away from Luhan long enough to glare at the newcomer (which turned out to be Yixing, who was looking terribly uncomfortable with the current situation) and said “yes. Yes you are.”
“Mufasa,” Luhan whimpered, and Minseok found himself quickly rising towards hysterics.
“Why did Disney have to ruin my childhood!”
Needless to say, Yixing hadn’t stood a chance.
----
By the time they made it through Advanced Symbolic Logic (during which Minseok pondered how his friends had managed to score a pass in that class because ‘Luhan’ and ‘Yixing’ were hardly synonymous with 'logic’.) the tears were long gone and so was Minseok’s second (and third) wind.
He was pretty sure he would’ve passed out already if Luhan and Yixing hadn’t begun taking turns poking him in the cheek every other minute.
“Only Government and English left,” Luhan reminded him encouragingly as the bell rang and Minseok stumbled to his feet. His eyes were in a half-closed state and he couldn’t feel his feet even as the two of them began dragging him towards the door. “You can manage two more classes, right?”
“I’m not learning anything,” Minseok mumbled sleepily, leaning his head on Yixing’s shoulder despite the fact that Yixing was desperately trying to keep him from doing so. “Can’t I go to bed yet?”
“Two more classes,” Luhan repeated evasively, causing Minseok to whimper.
“Look alive, Sunshine,” Yixing added, nudging his shoulder so that Minseok’s head would return to an upright position. “We don’t need the school to go into a panic because someone mistakes you for a zombie.”
“I feel like a zombie,” Minseok slurred, blinking his heavy eyelids even as he did his best to straighten up and look more awake. “This is all your fault,” he added to Luhan, sending him a glare.
Luhan was smart enough to look abashed.
“Hey, hyung!” Minseok flinched slightly when he felt an unfamiliar arm wrap around his shoulder and looked over sluggishly to see Jongdae giving him a cheeky grin. “Wanna get some Doritos and fuck?”
Minseok wondered if maybe he’d missed something somewhere. He also wished that people would wait until he was fully coherent before asking questions. “No?” He half-asked, watching as Jongdae’s grin fell.
“Why?” He asked, looking genuinely put out. “You don’t like Doritos?”
Minseok didn’t really know how to answer that (because of fucking course he liked Doritos, who didn’t?) so instead he stayed silent, contemplating whether or not Jongdae had just propositioned him or it had been a dream and in reality Yixing was carrying him back to the dorms. He hoped it was the second one, because he was sleepy.
Eventually he managed to get out a thoughtful “Doritos are delicious” which promptly went ignored.
Instead, Jongdae began pulling him away from Luhan and Yixing, who only looked on as their slightly-incoherent friend was kidnapped. “I promise I’ll bring him back in one piece or possibly two bye!” Jongdae shouted to them brightly, waving with his free hand as he dragged Minseok into the unknown.
Minseok decided that maybe he wasn’t dreaming after all, because only reality could be so confusing.
“I need to go to Comparative Politics,” Minseok told Jongdae, though he didn’t bother trying to escape. He probably should have though, because Jongdae was the type of person to hand someone a candy bar laced with acid.
Poor, innocent little BamBam...
“You’re skipping,” Jongdae decided, and Minseok tried hard not to pout.
“But we’re covering the questionable existence of Europe today,” he whined, his head dropping uselessly onto Jongdae’s shoulder as they turned a sharp corner.
“Europe exists,” Jongdae promised, sounding almost amused. Minseok didn’t like him anymore.
“Does it, though?”
Jongdae made a snuffling sound that kind of sounded like laughter. Minseok glared at his jaw, since it was the only part of his face that could be seen from Minseok’s current vantage point. Luckily for Minseok, it was a pretty sweet-looking jaw, so he didn’t have to move his head.
“I’m trying to make this interesting for you, hyung,” Jongdae told him after managing to quell the giggles that had been escaping his lips only moments before. “I know it’ll be difficult for you to accomplish, but please do your best not to ruin it.”
Minseok didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but only shrugged his too-heavy shoulders and mumbled “I make no promises. Did I mention that I’ve really got to go to my Comparative Politics class?” instead of questioning it. Jongdae made more snuffling noises, and Minseok frowned. “Because we’re covering the questionable existence of Europe today.”
He had a moment of deja vu, but eventually decided to ignore it.
“There could be questions about it on the final test, and it’s my last year. I don’t want to fail a class, Jongdae. Especially not Comparative Politics - that’s almost as embarrassing as failing a Theology course, though I guess it’s pretty embarrassing to take a Theology course, so-”
“Hyung,” Jongdae began, cutting off Minseok’s incoherent mumble easily. Minseok stared at his sexy jaw. “You’re babbling and being weird - are you stoned right now?”
Minseok attempted to shake his head, but Jongdae’s shoulder was getting in the way. “Nope. Tired. No sleep ‘till Brooklyn. Are we there yet?”
“We’ve been here for almost five minutes,” Jongdae answered flatly, though his jaw looked highly amused by Minseok’s behavior. Minseok didn’t like it anymore. “See,” he continued, pointing up at some mysterious thing. Minseok reluctantly raised his head only to realize that they were standing in the doorway of what appeared to be an empty classroom of some kind, and right above them was what may or may not have been a sprig of mistletoe.
“Is that mistletoe?” Minseok asked, blinking at the plant in confusion.
“Interesting, right?” Jongdae replied, sounding smug.
“But it’s only August,” Minseok mumbled, quite confused. “Where did you find Mistletoe in August?”
Jongdae shrugged. “I know a guy.”
Minseok nodded. That made sense.
“We’re standing under mistletoe, hyung,” Jongdae continued, nudging Minseok in the side. “Get it?”
“Not really, no,” Minseok admitted, turning his gaze from the mistletoe to his unfortunate kidnapper. “Did you pull me away from Comparative Politics to show me your talents in acquiring poisonous winter plants in the middle of summer?”
Jongdae shot him a cheeky smile. Like...a cheeky smile. Seriously, what the hell was up with Jongdae’s cheeks? How did he get them like that? Was there some sort of cream - “Close enough,” Jongdae told him, and was it Minseok or were cheeks getting closer? Were they going to eat him? Oh god, he didn’t want to get eaten by Jongdae’s cheeks! He still had so much to live for! What if he never got to see 1TYM’s comeback, which was definitely not just a product of his and Minho’s shared fanboy wet dreams and totally going to happen one day -
“It’s only been eight years we still have a shot!” Minseok managed to squeak before he felt something warm and soft press against his lips. All thoughts of never getting to see Song Baekkyoung retake the stage flew out of his mind as he realized belatedly that they were standing under mistletoe and Jongdae was obviously The Joker and he really needed to invest in never pulling an all-nighter again because wow impossible stupidity.
Jongdae seemed to realize that Minseok would be a little slow on the uptake because he stayed stock still, waiting for Minseok to catch up. And after an awkward moment Minseok did, allowing his burning eyes close and letting out a small sigh against Jongdae’s lips before haphazardly throwing his arms over Jongdae’s shoulders and pulling him closer.
Minseok felt Jongdae give a lazy grin before he was being pushed against the doorframe, the corner of which was digging uncomfortably into his back though Minseok wasn’t of the frame of mind to care. His brain felt kind of fuzzy and with his eyes closed everything took on a dream-like quality that had Minseok letting out a quiet whimper when he felt thin fingers thread through his hair and a tongue slip between his lips.
If Minseok said that Jongdae was a bad kisser and it didn’t feel a little amazing, he would be blatantly lying. Jongdae had to be the best so far - Minseok becoming embarrassingly pliant as the younger man pulled Minseok’s bottom lip between his teeth - and so Minseok found it increasingly odd how difficult it was to stay conscious even as his fingers tingled with the urge to touch and his heart pounded in his chest.
But alas, he was beginning to fall asleep. He could feel it coming - hazy as everything was - and with an unhappy whine he reluctantly pushed Jongdae back a few inches.
“Jongdae," Minseok mumbled against his lips, swallowing thickly and slowly pushing him back further. It felt like his eyelids weighed twenty pounds, but after a minute he managed to get them open. "Look, normally I'd be all over this," he began, tongue heavy in his mouth, "but I'm pretty sure if I close my eyes again I'm going to pass out, and I really don't want you to feel that incompetent."
"I understand, hyung," Jongdae told him, leaning his forehead against Minseok's and petting the back of his head comfortingly. It felt really good. Minseok's eyes were beginning to shut of their own accord again.
"It's really not fair to leave you with those kinds of emotional scars," Minseok managed to slur out, hot breaths puffing against his lips as Jongdae chuckled.
"Really, hyung, it's fine," he promised, and Minseok felt bad but he was just so tired. "I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t have a grand finale planned, but I can just record it on my phone." Normally Minseok would’ve been worried, because that hardly sounded normal, but he was too busy trying to stay coherent. “Why don't you go to sleep and I'll get you back to your room, okay?"
Minseok nodded sluggishly. And he'd been doing so well. "Fine, he agreed, finally allowing his eyelids to press shut once more, "but if you fuck with me I swear to fucking God you'll regret it."
Minseok heard Jongdae say something about promising nothing before everything faded into beautiful darkness.
----
When Minseok reemerged into the land of the living it was still daylight.
There was a moment spent on figuring out where he was - in his room, on his bed, specifically with his head on Jongdae’s stomach, not that Jongdae seemed to notice since he was too busy snoring softly into Minseok’s pillow.
Minseok was no less exhausted then he’d been when passing out while leaning against a doorframe, but he was awake enough to question things and so question things he did. Specifically why Jongdae was in his bed. And how long he’d been asleep. And where Luhan was, because surely classes had ended for the day already. Most importantly, Minseok needed to find out whether or not anyone had taken notes for him all day because Minseok couldn’t remember using a writing utensil at any point in the recent past, and it was worrying.
Raising a hundred pound hand to rub sleepily at his burning eyes, Minseok sluggishly rolled off of Jongdae, only to poke him in the side a second later. Jongdae mumbled something about rabid squirrels and flung an arm around Minseok’s waist before curling into him.
Normally Minseok was all for cuddles (he was a romantic at heart or some other bullshit that he didn’t want to deal with at the moment) but now was hardly the time, and so Minseok used up even more of his limited energy to poke Jongdae again.
“Why?” Jongdae groaned, moving his head until it rested on Minseok’s bicep. “Go away.”
Not to be deterred, Minseok poked him again. “Why are you here?” He muttered, his voice unattractively croaky until he made a half-assed attempt to clear his throat. “In my bed, I mean,” he added, wiggling his arm in an attempt to get Jongdae off of him. “I don’t want to debate some philosophical crap or what the fuck ever.”
Suddenly seeming much more awake, Jongdae’s eyes popped open and he raised his head to look down at Minseok interestedly. “You’re alive,” he exclaimed, smiling widely when Minseok managed a nod and bouncing the bed slightly as he sat up completely. “Feel better?”
“Feel tired,” Minseok replied darkly, glaring at Jongdae - not because Jongdae had wronged him in any way (that he knew of) - but because he was not awake by choice. “Seriously, not that I mind a whole lot, but why are you here?”
Jongdae shrugged innocently, though his grin turned the slightest bit lecherous. “I wasn’t done with you yet.” Minseok stared at him. “Luckily, I’m a patient person.”
Minseok sighed. “What time is it?” He mumbled, turning away from Jongdae and closing his eyes.
“Probably around dinner time,” Jongdae answered thoughtfully, and Minseok gave an agreeing grunt. That would explain why Luhan wasn’t around to shoot him disapproving looks.
He felt something hard connect with his side and looked over just in time to see Jongdae rest his head on Minseok’s hip. “Wanna see something funny?” He asked, eyes sparkling with mischief and lips curling up slightly at the tips.
Despite himself, Minseok immediately became curious. “Only if it’s quick,” he agreed, waiting until Jongdae sat up again before moving to lay on his back. He watched, only half-interested as Jongdae took his phone out of his pocket and began pushing buttons.
A moment later and Jongdae was laying pressed up against his side, holding the phone up in front of him and pressing play with an excited grin on his face.
Minseok watched the as the screen wobbled for a moment before zooming up to a doorway with mistletoe hanging above it, and realized belatedly that it was the empty classroom that he’d never quite gotten the chance to enter. Five seconds passed before there was a commotion and Minho and Kibum appeared.
Kibum seemed to be attempting to run away and scold Minho all at once, but the volume was turned down too low for Minseok to be able to make out what he was saying. Either way, Minho wasn’t having any of it, giving Kibum an adoring smile that Minseok found a little disturbing.
They both attempted to push their way into the classroom at the same time, and Minseok heard Jongdae’s voice mumble something from the speakers. Kibum and Minho both stared at the camera, looking terribly confused before Kibum glanced up and did a double take. Minho’s expression turned positively ecstatic while Kibum let out an audible shriek that had Minseok wincing in terror despite himself. There was one last shot of Satan giving the camera a glare that promised death before the camera wobbled again and the screen went black.
Minseok slowly turned his head only to see Jongdae already grinning at him. “Don’t you wish you’d been awake to see that in person?” He asked, and Minseok nodded.
“Please tell me Kibum didn’t break the rules of Mistletoe and the two of them totally kissed,” Minseok said, and Jongdae’s grin faded the slightest bit.
“I don’t actually know,” he admitted, looking just a little embarrassed. “Kibum started threatening me so I grabbed your lifeless body and escaped out the window before he could make good on them. I’ll ask Minho when I get back to my room, though.”
“How did you know, though?” Minseok couldn’t help but ask, his curiosity rising. “That they’d be there, I mean?”
Jongdae shrugged. “I know Minho’s schedule, and he’s always talking about Kibum so it was pretty easy to figure out what classes they shared. I figured this way I could kill two birds with one stone - assuming of course that Kibum didn’t kill me in the process, which felt like a very real possibility at the time.”
Minseok snickered. “That was pretty ingenious,” he admitted, watching as Jongdae’s grin turned positively radiant.
“So since I’m so smart do I get a prize?” He asked, voice sugary sweet despite the slightly demonic expression on his face.
Minseok raised a skeptic eyebrow. “What kind of prize?”
Jongdae’s eyebrows waggled suggestively and Minseok almost wanted to groan. Work, work, work...
“Fine,” he agreed, trying not to laugh when Jongdae began clapping his hands like an excited child. “But only until my roommate gets back - Luhan gets weird with this shit.”
----
Cross-Posted on AFF here.