(no subject)
I've been in a malaise for the past couple weeks. Decided to start a new painting and it's actually pretty therapeutic. It kills hours at a time and frees me from the intangible dread I feel most of the time. I was distracting myself with video games which are loads of fun but ultimately unrewarding and I think that is contributing to my crappy ass mood.
Teaching myself to paint has been one of the most satisfying things I've done for myself (other than marrying my wonderful wife) for a while now. Being in bands had lost it's appeal long before I quit doing it. I guess i just find myself surprised at the cliche in myself. The annoying artsy fartsy cliche of "if I'm not creating I'm not happy." Problem is this is couple with a crippling fear of failure so it's often hard to get started on these projects. But once immersed I get really excited. I annoy Shannon by asking her to constantly take a look at my progress but it's only because I have a rare sense of pride.
I guess the therapy Shannon's been suggesting probably isn't out of the question.
Teaching myself to paint has been one of the most satisfying things I've done for myself (other than marrying my wonderful wife) for a while now. Being in bands had lost it's appeal long before I quit doing it. I guess i just find myself surprised at the cliche in myself. The annoying artsy fartsy cliche of "if I'm not creating I'm not happy." Problem is this is couple with a crippling fear of failure so it's often hard to get started on these projects. But once immersed I get really excited. I annoy Shannon by asking her to constantly take a look at my progress but it's only because I have a rare sense of pride.
I guess the therapy Shannon's been suggesting probably isn't out of the question.