Pet-peeve Crimes
I've been working on a list of crimes people commit that really get my goat. These are in no particular order:
* Graffiti (vandalism / taggers) -- Oooh, those little pricks really make me angry. You have basically four types of taggers (in order of irritation):
1. Gang members -- they tag gang territory and do "roll calls" -- a list of the members of their gang. When you're in a gang war you cross out the other gang's tags to piss them off. Very junior high school
2. Tagging crews -- they are like the minor leagues for gangs. Gangs recruit from tagging crews.
3. Onesies -- these guys are either very young or too shy to be in a tagging crew. They think tagging is cool and have a burning desire to write their nickname all over the place. You just want to smack a kid like this and ask him whether he would like it if someone else wrote their name all over his house.
4. Graffiti artists -- hipsters think that most graffiti is art because they don't know better. If there is a storefront that the owner want to have a graffiti art mural on that is fantastic. I (very) occasionally see some great stuff. But the whole point is that you are putting your drawings all over places that they don't belong -- park walls, billboards, trucks, whatever. Do you think I want to see your crappy artwork all over the place? How about you practice on your parents' house? Ever heard of paper?
* Litterbugs -- OK, so you are a lazy bastard. You eat at McDonald's 5 times a week. You then need to dispose of the garbage. Do you carry it inside and throw it in the garbage can? Of course not, it's overflowing anyway because you don't take your garbage out. Instead, you park your car on the street, open your door and drop your garbage right outside. I have seen this way too many times and it is a sure way to buy yourself a fat ticket.
--- If people would stop just the above two things, how much better a town would L.A. be? Even Pacoima wouldn't look so bad without all the graffiti and garbage everywhere.
* Car Burglars -- Profile: You are a dirty drug addict. You are either homeless or crash in various pads. You wear a backpack or maybe you push a shopping cart around "to collect recyclables." Even though you don't have any money for food, you somehow have an ipod in your pocket that has no battery charge and you don't know what songs are on it. You may have a bunch of CD's for bands I find it hard to believe you like. As you walk down the street, you see a car with 35 cents in the ash tray. You break the passenger side window to grab it. Yes! You are now 35 cents closer to another hit of crack / meth / cocaine. Congratulations.
* Unlicensed drunk drivers.
1. You kill more than your fair share of people on the road
2. You cause a lot of economic damage (and you don't have insurance because you don't have a license)
3. You make my insurance cost more
4. It's never your fault (that goes for all drivers)
5. You have never drunk more than 2 beers
6. When you crash your 1992 Toyota Corolla that isn't in your name, you just walk home
7. Even if I arrest you, there is no punishment. What are they going to do, take away your license? Oh yeah, you don't have one.
------ Bonus irritation: Speed racer kids. Just because you saw The Fast and the Furious does not make you an expert driver. Please stop "drifting" and dodging in and out of traffic!
* Domestic Violence (suspects and victims).
--- Suspect: You are a douchebag / b**ch. You have a substance abuse problem. Yes, your spouse may be irritating but that doesn't give you the write to smack / claw him or her.
--- Victim: If you really cared you would call the police right when he hits you, not a month later when you are pissed off your boyfriend is cheating on you. You would only give him maaaaybe 1 more chance. Quit going back to him and then complaining when he continues to smack you.
----- Bonus irritation: women's rights activists who think that only men hit women. I've seen both sides dish it out plenty good.
This list may continue later...
* Graffiti (vandalism / taggers) -- Oooh, those little pricks really make me angry. You have basically four types of taggers (in order of irritation):
1. Gang members -- they tag gang territory and do "roll calls" -- a list of the members of their gang. When you're in a gang war you cross out the other gang's tags to piss them off. Very junior high school
2. Tagging crews -- they are like the minor leagues for gangs. Gangs recruit from tagging crews.
3. Onesies -- these guys are either very young or too shy to be in a tagging crew. They think tagging is cool and have a burning desire to write their nickname all over the place. You just want to smack a kid like this and ask him whether he would like it if someone else wrote their name all over his house.
4. Graffiti artists -- hipsters think that most graffiti is art because they don't know better. If there is a storefront that the owner want to have a graffiti art mural on that is fantastic. I (very) occasionally see some great stuff. But the whole point is that you are putting your drawings all over places that they don't belong -- park walls, billboards, trucks, whatever. Do you think I want to see your crappy artwork all over the place? How about you practice on your parents' house? Ever heard of paper?
* Litterbugs -- OK, so you are a lazy bastard. You eat at McDonald's 5 times a week. You then need to dispose of the garbage. Do you carry it inside and throw it in the garbage can? Of course not, it's overflowing anyway because you don't take your garbage out. Instead, you park your car on the street, open your door and drop your garbage right outside. I have seen this way too many times and it is a sure way to buy yourself a fat ticket.
--- If people would stop just the above two things, how much better a town would L.A. be? Even Pacoima wouldn't look so bad without all the graffiti and garbage everywhere.
* Car Burglars -- Profile: You are a dirty drug addict. You are either homeless or crash in various pads. You wear a backpack or maybe you push a shopping cart around "to collect recyclables." Even though you don't have any money for food, you somehow have an ipod in your pocket that has no battery charge and you don't know what songs are on it. You may have a bunch of CD's for bands I find it hard to believe you like. As you walk down the street, you see a car with 35 cents in the ash tray. You break the passenger side window to grab it. Yes! You are now 35 cents closer to another hit of crack / meth / cocaine. Congratulations.
* Unlicensed drunk drivers.
1. You kill more than your fair share of people on the road
2. You cause a lot of economic damage (and you don't have insurance because you don't have a license)
3. You make my insurance cost more
4. It's never your fault (that goes for all drivers)
5. You have never drunk more than 2 beers
6. When you crash your 1992 Toyota Corolla that isn't in your name, you just walk home
7. Even if I arrest you, there is no punishment. What are they going to do, take away your license? Oh yeah, you don't have one.
------ Bonus irritation: Speed racer kids. Just because you saw The Fast and the Furious does not make you an expert driver. Please stop "drifting" and dodging in and out of traffic!
* Domestic Violence (suspects and victims).
--- Suspect: You are a douchebag / b**ch. You have a substance abuse problem. Yes, your spouse may be irritating but that doesn't give you the write to smack / claw him or her.
--- Victim: If you really cared you would call the police right when he hits you, not a month later when you are pissed off your boyfriend is cheating on you. You would only give him maaaaybe 1 more chance. Quit going back to him and then complaining when he continues to smack you.
----- Bonus irritation: women's rights activists who think that only men hit women. I've seen both sides dish it out plenty good.
This list may continue later...