Summer 2012 Wrap-Up
LiveJournal and I haven't been in much contact lately and I blame it on the busyness of life...or, you know, my incapability to sit down and sort all the jumbled thoughts and emtions in my head. Below is what has happened to me this past summer and it's a bunch, so I will be putting it under a cut to conserve space.
When school let out, I began to work at the Corner Cafe again, only to be let go after two months because there were not enough hours for all the employees. So, I went and did the exact thing that I said I would never do: work at Gastrak (our local gas station, which is also the local joke). Apparently desperate times called for desperate measures. But I do have to admit that it's not as bad as I was expecting, nor is it as bad as everybody said.
July 1st-5th I was in New Orleans, LA attending the Evangelical Free Church of America's (EFCA) National Youth Conference. I went to Challenge in 2010 in Ohio and it was awesome, but it was nothing compared to Challenge 2012.
For weeks, I have been trying to sit down and explain what all happened at Challenge. There is so much that I can't even put it into words. The theme of the conference was "Everything is New" and for me, everything truly is new.
I have been struggling with my faith for severals years now because I've gotten involved in several things that got between me and God. Before I knew it, I was so wrapped up in my obsessions that I had stopped praying and reading the Bible. My behavior changed and I began to become more disrespectful toward my parents--I have already begun to go through my rebellious stage, but this was something in a whole different realm. I don't even know.
But at Challenge, something changed. I don't even know exactly, but when you are surrounded by 6,000 people who have come to one place to glorify and worship God, it is unbelievable. It was combinations of God is awesome/how could I have ever left this/I am so unworthy of His love/Father God, I am an idiot, please bring me back to You and so many other things that I could never articulate.
And God has begun to bring me back to Him. It has not been an overnight process and I still mess up, I still am an idiot, but I am an idiot that is beginning to allow God to break me and mold me into who He wants me to be.
Challenge was loads and loads of fun, despite all the emtional aspects of it. Kristian Stanfill led worship and hearing 6,000 people singing praises to God once again filled my mind with God is so good. And on Thursday--Friday?--morning, all the leaders went to their own meeting, so there were 5,432 teenagers having a major dance party and it was the greatest thing in the world! Kristian played his new song "Smile" and wow, yeah, once again, just an overwelming feeling of how great God really is, well, as much of His greatness that my little feeble mind managed to grasp.
On Thursday night, it was just a prayer night. I found myself a quiet corner and just sat down and cried. I was so overwelmed by everything and all I could do was just sob. For a while, I couldn't even pray because I couldn't force the words out between my sobs and everytime I tried to pray mentally, the words would get jumbled. I don't even remembered if I did pray, but God knew everything I wanted to say anyway.
Then on Thursday afternoon--yes, Thursday was a busy day--our group went out and explored New Orleans a little bit. It was almost 100 degrees, and very humid, but it was still awesome. We went to a market where there was a bunch of vendors under a tent. Most of them were just sitting in front of a fan, and it was kind of cool to see. It was like a giant farmer's market, except they were selling jewelry and everything Saints instead of fruits and vegetables.
There were also seminars that we were able to attend in the afternoon. The one that has stayed with me all this time was called "Discerning Gray Matters" and was led by Bryan McWhite, a pastor out of Minneapolis Minnesota. He talked about matters that weren't mentioned specifically in the Bible, like tattoos, piecings and stuff like that. Several things were mentioned as being gray matters such as music, make-up, clothing and to my surprise, patriotism.
I have struggled with patriotism for a while now. It's hard to be patriotic to my country when they seem to stand for everything I don't. I love the United States, it's my home, it the only place I have ever known, but it's almost getting to the point where you are either a Christian or an American. I guess I'm glad that other people are having the same struggles and that I'm not alone in that.
I went to Challenge with eight other amazing people. Brandon, Keaton, Reese, Lisa, Cassie, Emmalee, and Kimber. It was amazing to spend the week with these guys. Now, most of us are getting together for a Bible Study every week. It is awesome.
Two weeks after returning from Challenge, I found myself in Wisconsin. My dad's dad use to be the caretaker of a Bible Camp there and so the current director--who is a childhood friend of my dad's--asked my dad to speak at the Junior High camp. I have to admit that at the beginning, I went just to drive. Driving is amazing, in case anybody is wondering.
That week was amazing, despite the fact that I was sick for part of the time. The people who work at the camp are some of the most dedicated Christians I have ever met. Their entire focus was on bringing these kids to Jesus Christ. Having so much fun was just a bonus. I really hope to go back and spend six weeks there next summer as a LIFT student--basically a camp counselor. I would love it if my little sister, Kimber, came with me, but I guess that's between her and God.
Another thing that really surprised me about being at Riverside of how much it felt like Challenge. There was an half-hour everyday when everybody would be in the chapel for something called Singspiration. It was something that I had never heard of before, but it was just a time set aside to praise God through music. Even though Riverside was a much small crowd (somewhere between 100 and a 150) it felt exactly like Challenge. Believers were offering up their praise to God in song. It felt amazing!
When I back from Wisconsin, I began working at Gastrak. Basically I make pizzas. It's not really exciting or anything, but it is a job, which I am thankful for. There are an awful lot of people in this country that don't have one, so I can't not be thankful.
Then, a week ago, I got back from Oklahoma, because I went to see my brother Roger graduate from Basic Training. My family got to hang out in Texas for a couple days to meet up with family on my mom's side for the first time, and that was pretty cool. I got to meet some cousins--actually I think they were like, fifth cousins, fourteen times removed or something--and it was really fun to be able to do that.
Oh yeah, Oklahoma was hot too.
But it was fun. I got to hang out with some of my family and my brother's girlfriend and her mom. We went to a wildlife refuge and the coolest thing was there. They have a place called "The Holy City" which apparently was a set build for a passion play or something. The city is built out of rock and includes replicas of Jesus's grave, the site of crucixfiction, Herod's court. It was kind of surreal to stand facing three different crosses on a hill. I just had to step back and once again thank God for His incredible sacrifice.
I also got pictures of a Texas Longhorn and a buffalo that were more than content to walk right up to our vehicle. Unfortunately, they are on my phone, so I can't share them here, but it was pretty epic.
But now I am home and back in school. Senior year people! I am so happy to be almost done. And now, I am suppose to be writing an essay for P.O.D., so I should probably get back to that. Pics and vid ahead.
The Challenge Group at the Church before we left. I am back row, second from the left. I am actually happy, even though I don't look like it. :)
Mikaela (a new friend from New Jersey) Me, and my sister Kimber.
The Challenge girls! I am on the far right.
And the new theme song of my life:
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