we are crooked souls trying to stay up straight
so i should be sleeping right now, but i'm not. i have been so lazy during my off-periods lately. i have been taking naps and started watching tv (today laguna beach...used to be dr. phil) but its bad. i have seen almost the whole season of laguna beach. ah well. its addicting. and while i get annoyed of how shallow their relationships can be, i like it anyways because it is all about relationships! but today i saw the season finale where everyone goes off to college, and it was sad. i am not looking forward to that, but i guess that's just life.
speaking of college, i got accepted to baylor today. i have a future! but the one i see is at the university of texas - hook 'em horns! when i get accepted there (i mean if, but technically its illegal for them not to, which by the way i am blessed to have such a security), i'll let y'all know. then i have to decide which dorm to live in and who to room with, because i dunno about rooming with a stranger...but that's for later. my parents have also been driving applying for scholarships into the ground, and i am getting annoyed. yes i know i have to do it to get the car, but yelling at me doesn't help. i'm just a procrastinator, and work better at the last minute. (ok now im making excuses)i am proud of myself for applying to UT and A&M this weekend. i guess they have different expectations for me...but i'll do it. i need to stop being so lazy. and i had a bad attitude this weekend. if you noticed and i was rude to you, sorry. even i wanted to leave myself alone. but hanging out with the tennis crew, seeing leigh-anne :), and going to church definitely helped. i hate it when i am in weird moods...its stupid.
but yeah...today was a great day. actually this whole year have been awesome. but tonight i had some really good conversations with some of my friends, which i love. i realized how much i just love talking to people, about real stuff that matters and not homework. i love just talking about life and relationships and stuff like that. if i don't get to have conversations like that, i feel like i am missing out because i just love it! i could sit and talk for hours...and i do it all the time. i love driving around with people and just talking. oooh i wanna go on a road trip, so i can drive, talk, and listen to music. what is better than that? i think it is also why i like tennis - because its a social sport where you can talk and play. i mean swimming, its you and the water...no noise but what goes on in your head. it can be rather boring...but meets are fun! i have one this friday and saturday in corpus christi. i need to get motivated, because i am becoming apathetic towards it, which is not good. i mean its my last year and i want to end it well. right now i kind of don't really care. i hate being apathetic. i need to get motivated...
ooh but tonight i was talking about how i need to have more confidence in myself, not to care what other people think, and to be bold and stand up for what i know is right. there are so many times where i just don't say anything because i fear offending anyone or causing conflict, and being wrong. i am a huge pacifist. i need to stop being afraid of making mistakes and i guess take risks. to know that yeah, i can't please everyone and everyone is not going to like what i say, but what i am doing is greater than myself and what people think of me. i REALLY need to be more confident, and i know that, but i need to figure out how to make it happen because the way i am isn't going to work.
so yeah, thats what is going on. my brother came home last night for dinner, which was awesome. and we threw a baby shower for foss yesterday! it was so much fun and he was completely surprised. we made him cry when we gave him a savings bond for cody (his baby boy!) who is due really soon. then things will get really crazy. but its exciting! then tomorrow night is Bible study!!!! i love it! i mean its just time to talk about life, faith, God and the girls are amazing (i love them all!) not to mention my leader, Becky who is soooo encouraging and such a great example. life is great! i mean my family rocks, my friends are incredible!!! :) and then God is absolutely amazing that words cannot even begin to describe Him. seriously i am in love.
and now i must sleep. goodnight everybody!
speaking of college, i got accepted to baylor today. i have a future! but the one i see is at the university of texas - hook 'em horns! when i get accepted there (i mean if, but technically its illegal for them not to, which by the way i am blessed to have such a security), i'll let y'all know. then i have to decide which dorm to live in and who to room with, because i dunno about rooming with a stranger...but that's for later. my parents have also been driving applying for scholarships into the ground, and i am getting annoyed. yes i know i have to do it to get the car, but yelling at me doesn't help. i'm just a procrastinator, and work better at the last minute. (ok now im making excuses)i am proud of myself for applying to UT and A&M this weekend. i guess they have different expectations for me...but i'll do it. i need to stop being so lazy. and i had a bad attitude this weekend. if you noticed and i was rude to you, sorry. even i wanted to leave myself alone. but hanging out with the tennis crew, seeing leigh-anne :), and going to church definitely helped. i hate it when i am in weird moods...its stupid.
but yeah...today was a great day. actually this whole year have been awesome. but tonight i had some really good conversations with some of my friends, which i love. i realized how much i just love talking to people, about real stuff that matters and not homework. i love just talking about life and relationships and stuff like that. if i don't get to have conversations like that, i feel like i am missing out because i just love it! i could sit and talk for hours...and i do it all the time. i love driving around with people and just talking. oooh i wanna go on a road trip, so i can drive, talk, and listen to music. what is better than that? i think it is also why i like tennis - because its a social sport where you can talk and play. i mean swimming, its you and the water...no noise but what goes on in your head. it can be rather boring...but meets are fun! i have one this friday and saturday in corpus christi. i need to get motivated, because i am becoming apathetic towards it, which is not good. i mean its my last year and i want to end it well. right now i kind of don't really care. i hate being apathetic. i need to get motivated...
ooh but tonight i was talking about how i need to have more confidence in myself, not to care what other people think, and to be bold and stand up for what i know is right. there are so many times where i just don't say anything because i fear offending anyone or causing conflict, and being wrong. i am a huge pacifist. i need to stop being afraid of making mistakes and i guess take risks. to know that yeah, i can't please everyone and everyone is not going to like what i say, but what i am doing is greater than myself and what people think of me. i REALLY need to be more confident, and i know that, but i need to figure out how to make it happen because the way i am isn't going to work.
so yeah, thats what is going on. my brother came home last night for dinner, which was awesome. and we threw a baby shower for foss yesterday! it was so much fun and he was completely surprised. we made him cry when we gave him a savings bond for cody (his baby boy!) who is due really soon. then things will get really crazy. but its exciting! then tomorrow night is Bible study!!!! i love it! i mean its just time to talk about life, faith, God and the girls are amazing (i love them all!) not to mention my leader, Becky who is soooo encouraging and such a great example. life is great! i mean my family rocks, my friends are incredible!!! :) and then God is absolutely amazing that words cannot even begin to describe Him. seriously i am in love.
and now i must sleep. goodnight everybody!