Merlinfic: The Bus Stop 18/??
Author: destiny_chicken
Title Hidden Feelings
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Arthur/Merlin
Character/s: Arthur, Merlin, Leon
Summary: Arthur struggles to hide his feelings about breaking up with Merlin.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1045 this chapter
Author's Notes Thank you to inspired_being for beta'ing my story.
Arthur's Sunday morning was a total waste since he slept past noon. He finally came to with his head pounding and his knee throbbing. Damn, he must have twisted it again somehow. Once he showered and took some paracetamol, he started to feel a bit better. Breakfast was out of the question; his stomach still felt queasy.
He dialed Leon’s mobile. "Leon, it's Arthur. I can't make it to the game today."
"No worries. We've already got a sub for you. I wasn't expecting your knee would allow you to play today."
"No, I mean I won't be able to be on the sidelines for moral support. My knee is acting up and I don't feel well," Arthur explained.
"Ah, so last night's party must have been a good one," Leon said with a chuckle.
"Something like that," Arthur replied morosely.
Leon picked up on his tone. "Hey, Arthur, are you okay? You sound kind of down."
"Yeah, I'm alright," Arthur responded. Leon was a good friend, but this wasn't something Arthur wanted to talk about.
Leon knew not to push. "Okay, I'll tell the team you're supporting them long distance today. Take it easy and I'll see you at work on Tuesday.”
At least Monday was a holiday, so Arthur could avoid seeing Merlin for another day. He was determined not to let Merlin know how devastated he was. He would be professional and only speak to Merlin when absolutely necessary, for business reasons. He briefly contemplated firing Merlin just so he wouldn't have to face him but Mithian would be all over him for firing without cause. And Merlin really had become indispensable to Arthur in the office. It was like he could read Arthur's mind and anticipate his needs almost before Arthur himself did.
There was no way around it--he needed Merlin as his PA. They'd just have to be business-like about it and not let their emotions get in the way. Arthur chewed his lower lip as he tried to imagine how he could bury his feelings of hurt and disappointment. He was especially disheartened because their physical relationship had been advancing so well after their last dinner. He could still see Merlin's bruised lips and the purple mark he'd left at the juncture of his shoulder and neck. As wrecked as Merlin looked, Arthur knew he had been the same. They had something special, and now, it was gone.
Dwelling on what he'd lost wasn't any way to move beyond the disappointment, Arthur chided himself. He'd just have to suppress any emotion in favour of a cool, calm demeanour.
~~~
Tuesday morning, Merlin sat fidgeting at his desk. He wasn't sure what was going to happen with Arthur today. Would he be screaming angry or quietly furious? Merlin was still disappointed Arthur hadn’t believed his explanation, but he was willing to concede that maybe the situation had been too emotionally charged for Arthur to listen to explanations. Being punched in the nose wasn't particularly conducive towards logical thinking either.
Arthur was late arriving and surprisingly was using his crutches again, not the cane. Merlin, forgetting what he'd planned to say, blurted out, "Is your knee worse? You're back on the crutches."
Arthur stopped where he was and looked Merlin over. "You're the Master of the Obvious this morning, I see. Look, I don't want to discuss anything regarding what happened on Friday night. This is going to be a business relationship only. What you do on your own time is your own business." With that declaration, Arthur limped into his office.
Merlin just sat there with his mouth open. So this was how Arthur's was going to deal with the issue, distant and impersonal. Maybe he'd misjudged how much their relationship meant to Arthur if he could brush this off with so much detachment.
"Merlin," Arthur shouted from his office.
Maybe he had more to say, Merlin hoped. "Yes, Arthur?" he called as he rose out of his chair.
"Get me my coffee and some ice for my knee."
Hopes dashed, Merlin answered, "Yes, sir."
"And make sure you don't spill the coffee or trip over your own feet." The insults were back.
~~~
Once Merlin delivered the coffee and the ice, Arthur had him close the door as he left. Now alone, Arthur held his head in his hands and screwed up his eyes so he wouldn't cry. He hadn’t expected seeing Merlin in person would tear at his heart so much. Merlin had looked so hopeful, almost like nothing had even happened. Evidently, Arthur had been mistaken in thinking Merlin would be upset about their breakup. Their budding relationship must have just been a fun fling for him. Well, it had been more than that for Arthur.
There was a knock at the door and Arthur jumped. "Who is it?"
"Leon."
Arthur took in a deep breath and blew it out. "Come in."
"Good morning, Arthur. I brought by the quarterly results for your review." Leon plopped a sheaf of pages on Arthur's desk.
"Thanks, Leon. I'll take a look at them. How'd the match go on Sunday?" Arthur asked with slight interest.
"Caerlon barely put up a fight. We won 3-nil. I see you're icing your knee again. How is it?"
"I guess I tweaked it somehow on Saturday, because it started hurting on Sunday and hasn't quit. I'm blaming Morgana and her charity ball."
"Good luck with that. Morgana is not likely to take the blame for anything." Leon paused, studying Arthur carefully. "So what's really wrong, Arthur? Care to explain how you got the black eye?"
"Nothing's wrong, and no," Arthur declared adamantly.
"No, I know you. Even on Sunday, you were definitely down. Now you're moping in your office with your door shut and your eyes are red. What's up?"
Arthur tried a different tack with Leon. "Look, Leon, this is something personal. I don't want to talk about it. I just need some time to work through it, okay? Can you respect my privacy, please?"
Leon touched Arthur on the shoulder. "Alright, I'll back off. But when you do want to talk about it, I'm available, okay?"
"Okay." As Leon turned to leave, Arthur added, "Leon, thanks. You're a good friend."
~~~