(no subject)
I dont understand... everything was actually goin great. I was fine, really, and now, i havent talked to Malik in two days!!! That sucks... i hate not being able to use the phone! It sucks taht i cant use my cell phone, even though they are free nights and weekends, but i guess i can understand, it was kinda my fault, but at the same time... i dont see why it would be such a big deal... if he didnt even want me in the house, if he didnt care what i did or when i came home or even IF i came home, why would it be a big deal if i talked on the cell at night when it was FREE?!?! Thats what doesnt make any sense! So now, no more cell phone, AND no more house phone. I have to ask every time I want to talk to Malik to see if he can call and if i can talk... i cant talk two nights in a row, and i can only talk to him for half an hour MAX. it sucks so much right now... i... its just... yeah its nice here...but its a new place... and i dont know where anything is. Sure yeah i know where the mall is... but its not that much fun if i dont have anyone to go with or anyone to talk to. There is NO ONE that lives near me except for little elementary and middle school kids. And there is NO way im gonna walk up to someone and start talkin to them. So... im either stuck in the house which has only four channels until wednesday... but at least i can play with my doggy! He's soooo cute! or at my grandmas layin around doin nothin but watchin TV and playin with Toby... but its not the same. i cant even text message anymore.. i have 100 free messages... or at least i did. My dad probably canceled them off of my plan the day after the argument. I dont even know why he cares... it makes no sense... its just... i cant take it anymore!!! he doesnt care what i do or where i am or how i am... just as long as im not on the phone?!?! i can move out or run away for all he cares... he told me... he wanted to kick me out for the past month... and he probably still does, but i cant talk on the phone!!! What am i supposed to do... and now... i dont know.
I was really happy for the past few days... now i have to find a job cause i need to take care of my puppy now. I think ill go apply at petsmart. Then ill be able to buy things for him and get a discount. plus its really close to home and right across the street from school. Plus they have a trainer and a vet there, too! hmm... i should probably think of a name for him first... hmm... i guess itll come with time. aaahh...i should get one soon though... thats very important.
hmm...i wonder what happened today. we talked about it on friday... so why the silence today? no reply no nothin? is he mad at me? oh my gosh.. what if the dream is comin true? i dont know if ill be able to handle that... maybe... maybe today is just one of those days... yeah. thats gotta be it. i guess ill just... go play with my doggy now and get over myself already. maybe this is supposed to be... maybe there is... something.. out there... for....
I was really happy for the past few days... now i have to find a job cause i need to take care of my puppy now. I think ill go apply at petsmart. Then ill be able to buy things for him and get a discount. plus its really close to home and right across the street from school. Plus they have a trainer and a vet there, too! hmm... i should probably think of a name for him first... hmm... i guess itll come with time. aaahh...i should get one soon though... thats very important.
hmm...i wonder what happened today. we talked about it on friday... so why the silence today? no reply no nothin? is he mad at me? oh my gosh.. what if the dream is comin true? i dont know if ill be able to handle that... maybe... maybe today is just one of those days... yeah. thats gotta be it. i guess ill just... go play with my doggy now and get over myself already. maybe this is supposed to be... maybe there is... something.. out there... for....