Moving On
I know that as life goes on, you go through many types of transitions in your life. You end a part of your life only to begin a new one. I am at one of those moments in my life right now. Over the last 2 months my life has been turned upside down. I am excited about what my future might hold for me but at the same time I am saying goodbye to a portion of my life that has taken me through a lot of ups and downs. Am I upset for what I am leaving behind? No way, because I know that there is more out there for me. Have I found it? Well, that's what I am trying to find out. Life's not so simple. I know that I have found a type of happiness that I have never felt before and had I not been strong and taken my life into my own hands, I may have never been able to feel that. I love what I have found and what I have been feeling. I just hate all the necessary things that go along with it. I hate moving. I hate packing. I hate fighting over who gets what. I hate all the work that goes along with ending a relationship. I know it will be well worth it in the end, but right now, it just sucks. I can't wait till I can get back on my feet again, and have a fresh start. I know what I want to do with myself and I hope that once I get enough money saved and get my own place again, that me and K can go somewhere far, far, away and take our minds off of things. Who knows, the way my life has been going lately, I will probably have 100 more problems that I will be running away from by then. I will just be so glad when all the bullshit is over, when all the moving is done, all the boxes have been packed and stored and everything of mine is in a secure place for me to get it whenever I need it. Hopefully it won't be in storage too long. I am anxious to get my life back together, start a new beginning, and hopefully live my life happy. All of this would have been a lot harder if it hadn't been for one person who supported me and made me see the light. She opened my eyes to the way life is supposed to be and whether we end up together in the end or not, I thank her with all I have in me for giving me my life back. She is my best friend and I hope that she will always be a part of my life, and I hope that one day that I can return everything she has done for me. She has brought sunshine back to my day and has shown me how love feels again. I love her so very much. I know I have been very silly lately and I hope she forgives me for the way I have acted recently. I am glad that has been able to form a friendship again with someone who was once a huge part of her life. I know it means a lot to her and I would never want to take that away from her. I hope that one day, maybe we can be friends too. I want to get to know everyone that she cares about and who is a part of her life. In some weird way, even thought I don't know her, I kinda feel for what T is going through and I know that she needs somebody to talk to who will not judge her for her decisions that she has made and be there for her. Sometimes we can't take back the things that we have done, but that doesn't mean that we don't wish they never happened. But with each decision we make we become stronger and I hope that she knows that she is not alone. She has you, and she is very lucky. I am also very good at listening and understanding, and even though we may not know each other, maybe someday, she will have another friend to lean on if she needed it. But I love you K and I have to go to bed now. I am sleepy. I can't wait till this weekend. I am so excited that I get to cook for you and hang out with you, and go home with you and meet your family, and see where you are from. I can't wait. I am so glad that you want to share that part of your life with me. I can't wait to get to know how you became the amazing and wonderful person that I have fallen so deeply in love with. Good night for now. I will see you in the AM