I wish.
I am sad. Mostly because I don't know why I have been so stressed out lately. I am a senior in highschool with my entire life in front of me. And maybe I don't get perfect grades, but I try hard. Besides that I am already accepted into college. That is not my concern obviously. I'm only eighteen with so much to look forward to and I feel like I would rather just sit in a small little cabin in the middle of the woods so that I wouldn't have to deal with life.
Why would I feel that way? Grr. It is so difficult sometimes to be able to understand all that I am feeling. I just know that there is soooo much out there for me to discover about myself and to change and develop and accomplish. I want to know what is though. Patience. Life sucks sometimes but I guess that's what makes it worth living. If it were fabulous 100% of the time, I would never appreciate those moments of complete happiness. Like when I am sitting with my bestfriend, not saying anything, just drinking hot chocolate and listening to Nichole Nordeman sing to us about appreciating those people that I don't like too much. Or when I'm with a bunch of friends playing UNO on the floor with no purpose to the game other than that we can play it. Or when I am by myself way too early in the morning, wrapped up in a warm blanket because it's like 2 degrees outside and I see a gorgeous sunrise.
It has taken me such a long time to realize that I really do live for those little moments. I wish sometimes that they could last forever even though I know they couldn't possibly. *sigh* It is soo sad that things have to change as you get older. But then again, it is oh so necessary.
Why would I feel that way? Grr. It is so difficult sometimes to be able to understand all that I am feeling. I just know that there is soooo much out there for me to discover about myself and to change and develop and accomplish. I want to know what is though. Patience. Life sucks sometimes but I guess that's what makes it worth living. If it were fabulous 100% of the time, I would never appreciate those moments of complete happiness. Like when I am sitting with my bestfriend, not saying anything, just drinking hot chocolate and listening to Nichole Nordeman sing to us about appreciating those people that I don't like too much. Or when I'm with a bunch of friends playing UNO on the floor with no purpose to the game other than that we can play it. Or when I am by myself way too early in the morning, wrapped up in a warm blanket because it's like 2 degrees outside and I see a gorgeous sunrise.
It has taken me such a long time to realize that I really do live for those little moments. I wish sometimes that they could last forever even though I know they couldn't possibly. *sigh* It is soo sad that things have to change as you get older. But then again, it is oh so necessary.