(no subject)
Wow. I just bought my cap and gown today and it's not even really close to graduation is it? Is it??????
I don't think I really like getting all this senior stuff cuz it means that I will have to leave highschool to go into a newer, scarier time of my life. I don't like knowing that I will have to pay all my own bills and stuff. I have to pay for everything. :( plus, I have to go to college and work. plus, I have to be lonely. How sad is that? *All by myself. Don't wanna be all by myself, anymore* I hope that I can find friends that are good for me. Ones that are trustworthy and kind. Generous and smart and fun. People I can talk to or sit with. Friends that are willing to pray for me and with me when I need them to. And friends I can pray with just because. those are the bestest. Hm. I'd like friends like that now come to think of it. (Chelsie, you are that type of friend my dear)And also friends that won't make me do drugs. those are good too.
There are sooo many things to start getting ready for. It's weird because in only a couple of years, I will be getting ready for marriage. There are people my age who are already engaged or married. crazies. I know I still have some time, but it will be so soon. Then I will be raising a family. then I will send my kids off to college and they will get married and then I'll have grandkids and be receiving senior discounts then I'll be on social security then I'll die and get buried. I don't want to. I have a feeling that after highschool, life is all just a huge blur of time. and I won't really remember what I learned in school. I will for surely remember everything I learned during these years of course, but really, school doesn't teach much.
I wish that I was more ready for college. I am finishing my WSU application soon. Step one nearly complete. I wish alot of things though. I need to go do something productive right now before I get depressed.
I don't think I really like getting all this senior stuff cuz it means that I will have to leave highschool to go into a newer, scarier time of my life. I don't like knowing that I will have to pay all my own bills and stuff. I have to pay for everything. :( plus, I have to go to college and work. plus, I have to be lonely. How sad is that? *All by myself. Don't wanna be all by myself, anymore* I hope that I can find friends that are good for me. Ones that are trustworthy and kind. Generous and smart and fun. People I can talk to or sit with. Friends that are willing to pray for me and with me when I need them to. And friends I can pray with just because. those are the bestest. Hm. I'd like friends like that now come to think of it. (Chelsie, you are that type of friend my dear)And also friends that won't make me do drugs. those are good too.
There are sooo many things to start getting ready for. It's weird because in only a couple of years, I will be getting ready for marriage. There are people my age who are already engaged or married. crazies. I know I still have some time, but it will be so soon. Then I will be raising a family. then I will send my kids off to college and they will get married and then I'll have grandkids and be receiving senior discounts then I'll be on social security then I'll die and get buried. I don't want to. I have a feeling that after highschool, life is all just a huge blur of time. and I won't really remember what I learned in school. I will for surely remember everything I learned during these years of course, but really, school doesn't teach much.
I wish that I was more ready for college. I am finishing my WSU application soon. Step one nearly complete. I wish alot of things though. I need to go do something productive right now before I get depressed.