Game of Thrones "The Bear and the Maiden Fair"
OK, I have come to a bit of a crossroads with Game of Thrones, and...to talk about that, I'll have to use a spoiler cut.
This episode was awesome because of Brienne and the bear. And Jamie. And Dany "Breaker of Chains" BADASS DRAGONMAMA. And Joffrey and his grandfather having a chat. Can Papa Lannister come and read the phone book to me? My god, I love his voice. And I love that he is the only person who intimidates Joffrey.
And that's where the goodness ends. Basically, I care not at all about anyone or anything that hails from north of The Wall, or The Wall itself. I have finally started fast-forwarding through the boring bits to get to the interesting storylines. I'm sometimes tempted to go look up characters and plots online, because I haven't read the books, but usually I stop myself, just in case something interesting happens that I might want to be surprised by. Like Jamie losing his hand. (In the case of Jon Snow, something. Anything. JUST DO SOMETHING BESIDES ANGST AND WHINE OMG.)
I think my issues with the show can be seen clearly if I do a character breakdown. I'm sure I'll misspell some. Don't care tho.
Characters I love without reservation, even though I think about 40% of them are doomed:
- Brienne - because she's awesome
- Jamie - because he's changing, and revealing previously unexplored depths of character, and he's not what I thought he was
- Margaery - girl crush!! I heart her.
- Margaery's grandmother, aka Diana Rigg - best character on the show right now, FULL OF SASS
- Gendry - I am intrigued re where his story is going
- Arya - nothing but love
- Tyrion - ditto
- Shae - I love her loyalty to Tyrion and her kindness to Sansa
- Danaerys - BADASS BITCH
- Littlefinger - fascinating because you never know what he's on about
- those two dudes who advise Dany whose names I get mixed up - because they are awesome
- Liam Cunningham (who cares what his name is, he's Liam Cunningham)
- Joffrey (in a love to hate him kind of way, because who even knows what crazy psychopathic thing he'll do next?)
- Papa Lannister - gives no fucks about anything and does it his way
- Cersei (also in a love to hate her kind of way; it's fun to see her losing ground to Margaery)
Note that all of these characters are in King's Landing, or came from there, or are headed there eventually, I think. This is pretty telling.
Characters I loathe and can't stand to look at:
- Caitlyn Stark - my god, I hate her so much. Is she going to die soon? Don't answer that; I will be horribly disappointed if you say no.
- that chick Jon Snow is fucking; every time she opens her mouth, I turn off the sound, because all she does is mock others
- that boring chick Rob Stark married
- Theon Greyjoy
- the dude inexplicably torturing Theon (this whole storyline makes zero sense to me, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY AND WHY SHOULD I CARE??? Honestly, he came out of nowhere and what is the point of all that torture?? Theon wasn't likeable enough to begin with for ANYONE TO CARE. I should not have to look characters up online to figure out their motivation for castrating people. And even after doing that, I'm basically not interested in his psychopathy. *fast forwards*)
Characters I like but refuse to get attached to because I suspect they are doomed:
- Rob Stark
- Loras
- Sansa (I'm on the fence with her. I don't like her as much as I want to, but at least I don't actively loathe her like season one, and I don't want to turn the sound off when she's on screen anymore. Progress.)
- The Hound
Characters I could probably learn to like but who are not doing anything interesting, thus I mostly can't remember their names:
- Jon Snow (and he used to be so interesting, too, alas)
- That guy played by the guy who played Julius Caesar, because he classes up everything he's in
- the paralyzed Stark kid, his traveling companions, and the dude with seizures who is a worg (borg? worf? sigh.)
- That guy who is the rightful king and will probably end up ruling everything eventually
- Samwell
So basically, there are too many characters not doing interesting things, and too many annoying characters without enough to do, and the characters who have really interesting relationships and plotlines are not getting enough screen time, really. Overall, this is my issue in a nutshell with epic fantasy, and it's why I read so little of it. I want Jon Snow and his whole contingent to fall off a cliff. I'm not even kidding. And if Rob is going to be defeated and/or die, I wish they'd hurry it up.
This episode was awesome because of Brienne and the bear. And Jamie. And Dany "Breaker of Chains" BADASS DRAGONMAMA. And Joffrey and his grandfather having a chat. Can Papa Lannister come and read the phone book to me? My god, I love his voice. And I love that he is the only person who intimidates Joffrey.
And that's where the goodness ends. Basically, I care not at all about anyone or anything that hails from north of The Wall, or The Wall itself. I have finally started fast-forwarding through the boring bits to get to the interesting storylines. I'm sometimes tempted to go look up characters and plots online, because I haven't read the books, but usually I stop myself, just in case something interesting happens that I might want to be surprised by. Like Jamie losing his hand. (In the case of Jon Snow, something. Anything. JUST DO SOMETHING BESIDES ANGST AND WHINE OMG.)
I think my issues with the show can be seen clearly if I do a character breakdown. I'm sure I'll misspell some. Don't care tho.
Characters I love without reservation, even though I think about 40% of them are doomed:
- Brienne - because she's awesome
- Jamie - because he's changing, and revealing previously unexplored depths of character, and he's not what I thought he was
- Margaery - girl crush!! I heart her.
- Margaery's grandmother, aka Diana Rigg - best character on the show right now, FULL OF SASS
- Gendry - I am intrigued re where his story is going
- Arya - nothing but love
- Tyrion - ditto
- Shae - I love her loyalty to Tyrion and her kindness to Sansa
- Danaerys - BADASS BITCH
- Littlefinger - fascinating because you never know what he's on about
- those two dudes who advise Dany whose names I get mixed up - because they are awesome
- Liam Cunningham (who cares what his name is, he's Liam Cunningham)
- Joffrey (in a love to hate him kind of way, because who even knows what crazy psychopathic thing he'll do next?)
- Papa Lannister - gives no fucks about anything and does it his way
- Cersei (also in a love to hate her kind of way; it's fun to see her losing ground to Margaery)
Note that all of these characters are in King's Landing, or came from there, or are headed there eventually, I think. This is pretty telling.
Characters I loathe and can't stand to look at:
- Caitlyn Stark - my god, I hate her so much. Is she going to die soon? Don't answer that; I will be horribly disappointed if you say no.
- that chick Jon Snow is fucking; every time she opens her mouth, I turn off the sound, because all she does is mock others
- that boring chick Rob Stark married
- Theon Greyjoy
- the dude inexplicably torturing Theon (this whole storyline makes zero sense to me, WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY AND WHY SHOULD I CARE??? Honestly, he came out of nowhere and what is the point of all that torture?? Theon wasn't likeable enough to begin with for ANYONE TO CARE. I should not have to look characters up online to figure out their motivation for castrating people. And even after doing that, I'm basically not interested in his psychopathy. *fast forwards*)
Characters I like but refuse to get attached to because I suspect they are doomed:
- Rob Stark
- Loras
- Sansa (I'm on the fence with her. I don't like her as much as I want to, but at least I don't actively loathe her like season one, and I don't want to turn the sound off when she's on screen anymore. Progress.)
- The Hound
Characters I could probably learn to like but who are not doing anything interesting, thus I mostly can't remember their names:
- Jon Snow (and he used to be so interesting, too, alas)
- That guy played by the guy who played Julius Caesar, because he classes up everything he's in
- the paralyzed Stark kid, his traveling companions, and the dude with seizures who is a worg (borg? worf? sigh.)
- That guy who is the rightful king and will probably end up ruling everything eventually
- Samwell
So basically, there are too many characters not doing interesting things, and too many annoying characters without enough to do, and the characters who have really interesting relationships and plotlines are not getting enough screen time, really. Overall, this is my issue in a nutshell with epic fantasy, and it's why I read so little of it. I want Jon Snow and his whole contingent to fall off a cliff. I'm not even kidding. And if Rob is going to be defeated and/or die, I wish they'd hurry it up.