H50 1x24
So let me recap! On tonight's ep, Steve isn't a stupid ass and doesn't run off to break into the gov's house the moment Danny leaves him by himself. Meanwhile, Danny shows up with a double six-pack to break up with Steve because he and Rachel are teenagers who never went to sex ed, except then Steve confesses his love and they have mad passionate sex that does not involve procreation (JFC, SHOW, A BABY? REALLY??) and then Danny realizes, no, he is not making a nonsensical move back to Jersey, fuck that, and Steve doesn't go barking mad and draw down on the governor or not-shoot anyone and they clear Kono and Chin does not feel forced to go back to HPD to get the inside scoop and everything is JUST FINE. Right? IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED? I THINK THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.
Stuff I did love:
1. Danny handling escalating!Steve, in every sense of the word. He is the Steve whisperer.
2. Wo Fat is one conniving motherfucker! He set up everything, and all Five-O's legit misdeeds are coming back on them, and also some stuff they didn't do. I HEART HIM.
3. The Governor was in it all along! But she was too dumb to see Wo Fat's betrayal coming? Really? Wait, I should put that on the other list. *cuts, pastes*
4. Steve being a badass, weapon-handling, non-lethal ninja. SO HOT. (You know what else was hot? Him standing there for his booking photo, tats showing under that T-shirt. I am not really capable of not noticing, sorry!)
5. Kamekona's armory, and his heads up to Danny. LOVE.
6. DANNY IS GOING TO FIX ALL THIS MESS. WATCH OUT, WO FAT.
7. There is no seven. It's just that six seemed like such a paltry, sad little number. A scrawny amount of things to love, really. But let's move on.
Stuff I didn't love:
1. Danny forgetting how to use condoms.
2. Rachel forgetting how to use the pill, and also condoms.
3. Rachel being a lying cheating liar who lies to her husband (sorry, I hate that shit; just leave him, if you want to bump uglies with your ex!).
4. Danny being dishonorable and selfish about the whole thing, and also being ready to ditch his Five-O family at the drop of a hat.
5. Rachel's inexplicable and artificially plot-related decision to move back to Jersey - because, really? She can stay in Hawaii with Danny and let Danny do what he loves, or she can force him to choose like that for no reason? That makes her kind of a bitch, and they have never before written her as any kind of a bitch, and so I'm pretending all that shit didn't even happen. I'm writing it out of my internal canon. *erases points one through five*
6. Steve acting like his brain has been permanently disconnected from his higher logic circuits the moment the heat is on. HELLO HE IS A SEAL. HE KNOWS FROM HEAT. What the hell was that about??
7. Chin going back to HPD. I'll grant you, I get that he's doing it so he can stay on the inside of whatever happens with the investigations into Steve and Kono's charges and conduct, but wow. Talk about putting on a hair shirt. UGH.
8. Show writing off two great female characters in one episode for the sake of (ridiculous) plot points.
9. Show turning one of those great female characters into a villain, and a pretty stupid one at that, right at the very end, there.
10. Jenna's Amazing and Fantastic Deductive Skills and Mysterious Connections! Is she going now? Probably not. Someone has to help Danny save his friends. But maybe she can go after that. I live in hope, at this point.
11. Wo Fat conveniently getting the drop on Steve. Sure, Steve was in the zone. But come on. He should have been in a state of hypervigilance. He would notice EVERYTHING. Is it something mysterious about tazers that makes Steve lose his hearing and peripheral vision??
...I think I need to go find some posts by people who loved this episode, stat.