(no subject)
Should a consider it a matter of spontaneous confluence that the writer's block question a scant 2-3 days after my last post is "who pays on the first date?"
No matter.
For myself, i'm inclined to say "Who ever proposed the date is responsible for payment, but come with enough money in your wallet to cover your own costs anyway."
As the person who asked someone out, you have all the power to decide where you and your date are going and how much money you'll spend. That means you, unlike your date, are in a position to tailor the date to fit your own budget. You could go dutch, but not everyone is comfortable discussing budgetary concerns with someone they've just met, so i wouldn't do that unless you already know the person somewhat and you're going to keep expenses pretty low anyway.
That said, i also believe in being prepared to take care of yourself as much as you possibly can rather than depending on anyone to make things work for you. So unless someone has explicitly said "let me take you out, and oh by the way i'm paying, so don't even ask", i'll make sure i have at least a couple of twenties in my pocket, just in case. Even if someone does say that i'll probably still have some cash on me. I mean, stuff happens, right? Everyone has embarrassing moments.
That said, if i'm out with someone and they say "No no, i want to pay," i'm not going to argue with them much. It's their wallet, and i trust them to make decisions about what to do with the stuff in it. And of course a thank you is required anytime someone pays for something for you, whether it's them paying for the date they asked you on or them offering you a couple of coins for the meter as a friend.
As for that whole "man pays" tradition...screw that, it's a holdover from a time when dates were strictly heterosexual affairs and men almost always made 2-3 times as much as women and women were only expecting to work until they got married. It doesn't make sense in modern society. Regardless of gender, we as people all need to make sure we're taking care of ourselves and our own needs but open to receive the gifts others want to share with us. And paying for someone else on an outing is most definitely a gift.
No matter.
For myself, i'm inclined to say "Who ever proposed the date is responsible for payment, but come with enough money in your wallet to cover your own costs anyway."
As the person who asked someone out, you have all the power to decide where you and your date are going and how much money you'll spend. That means you, unlike your date, are in a position to tailor the date to fit your own budget. You could go dutch, but not everyone is comfortable discussing budgetary concerns with someone they've just met, so i wouldn't do that unless you already know the person somewhat and you're going to keep expenses pretty low anyway.
That said, i also believe in being prepared to take care of yourself as much as you possibly can rather than depending on anyone to make things work for you. So unless someone has explicitly said "let me take you out, and oh by the way i'm paying, so don't even ask", i'll make sure i have at least a couple of twenties in my pocket, just in case. Even if someone does say that i'll probably still have some cash on me. I mean, stuff happens, right? Everyone has embarrassing moments.
That said, if i'm out with someone and they say "No no, i want to pay," i'm not going to argue with them much. It's their wallet, and i trust them to make decisions about what to do with the stuff in it. And of course a thank you is required anytime someone pays for something for you, whether it's them paying for the date they asked you on or them offering you a couple of coins for the meter as a friend.
As for that whole "man pays" tradition...screw that, it's a holdover from a time when dates were strictly heterosexual affairs and men almost always made 2-3 times as much as women and women were only expecting to work until they got married. It doesn't make sense in modern society. Regardless of gender, we as people all need to make sure we're taking care of ourselves and our own needs but open to receive the gifts others want to share with us. And paying for someone else on an outing is most definitely a gift.