Sometimes I tend to take things for granted...
That is a bad habit that I have. I always look at the negative side of things. I don't mean to, it just happens that way. School is a good example of that. I keep looking at all of the work I have to do and the money I still owe the college. I rarely think about the scholarships that are paying for the majority of my tuition.
I think the thing I tend to take for granted the most is that people will always be there for me. Often times I don't treat people as well as I would like to. Charlie for example. He treats me so well. I can't even count the number of times he has called me beautiful - even though I tell him every time that he is lying. I shrug it off every time, yet he keeps telling me that every day. He also answers the phone with "Hello my love". It always makes me smile. Yet I treat him like crap a lot of the time. He often gets yelled at because I'm stressing out over homework that needs to get done or because it's around that time of the month. He also comes over to my house almost every day, but sometimes I don't even get to pay much attention to him because I have a lot of homework or I have to go work. It doesn't matter to him if I only see him for five minutes or five hours - it's the fact that I got to see him that day that makes him happy.
Also, I haven't talked to a lot of my friends in about a month. There are a few that I hang out with every week or so, but then there are those people who I was really close with before college that have drifted away. I miss those people, but I don't make an effort to hang out with them much any more. I tried making an effort earlier this year but my efforts were ignored. I'm sick of trying. I can't be the only one trying to make our friendships work. Friendship is a two-way street. As much as it hurts me to stop making an effort I think I have to. If people don't want to try and make plans with me, I can't make them. It just hurts because I know that when breaks come around or when summer comes around again they will want to make plans. I understand that everyone is busy and has hectic schedules. I do to, but I am willing to try and make plans for something as simple as a lunch to catch up on what is going on in their lives. I know that they can take an hour out of their busy lives to catch up. They spend more time than that on myspace and facebook doing stupid quizzes and surveys. I guess this could be looked at as a good thing though. It lets me know who is really my friend and who is just a friend when it is convenient for them.
This week I started carpooling with Tanya to school. We haven't really talked in a few years so it was nice getting to catch up with her. We also talked about how our friends are doing. Some are good while others are not so good. It kind of sucks to see that some people who had a lot of potential are letting it go to waste. I also realized that I'm not the only one going through the losing friends thing. I know it happens to everyone when they graduate. Even though I graduated almost 3 years ago now, I am still trying to come to terms with it. I've said it before, but I'll say it again - I don't adjust to change well.
I know I keep going in all different directions with this entry, but it's just what is coming to mind. With the weather getting colder around here (we've already had our first glimpse of snowflakes) I want to do nothing more than curl up next to Charlie and forget about the rest of the world. Unfortunately I have six more weeks before classes are over. Also, I don't get to spend a lot of time with him until Sunday which upsets me. Normally we have all Friday to hang out, but he closes tomorrow night. Oh well. I guess I can take the time to do my online homework. I just can't wait until this semester is over. The number of projects I have assigned to me just keeps growing as we get closer to the end of the semester. I don't know that I can handle all of this work. I also feel like I am farther behind all of the people who actually started school at Eastern. All of the people who I graduated with who are going to school there for teaching have already taken their Basic Skills Test and are getting admitted into the College of Education. I just missed the last Basic Skills Test, so I won't be able to apply for the College of Ed for next semester. Also, it seems like everyone else has way more credits than I do. Tanya was talking about being able to substitute teach next fall. To be a substitute you need to have taken 90 credit hours. I think I transferred with 52 credits, so when you add in my 17 for this semester I will only have 69 credits - granted I still have another semester to go. Well, now that I have typed all of this out, I've realized that if I take 15 credit hours next semester (which I have to to get the other half of my scholarship) that will give me 84 credit hours. Then I could take a spring and a summer class, or two spring classes and have 90 credit hours. That would allow me to be a substitute teacher. Holy crap. That seems shocking to me. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal. I just need to remember if I did transfer over with 52 credits or not. I'm pretty sure but I don't quite remember.
Anyways, I think that is enough rambling for tonight. :)
I think the thing I tend to take for granted the most is that people will always be there for me. Often times I don't treat people as well as I would like to. Charlie for example. He treats me so well. I can't even count the number of times he has called me beautiful - even though I tell him every time that he is lying. I shrug it off every time, yet he keeps telling me that every day. He also answers the phone with "Hello my love". It always makes me smile. Yet I treat him like crap a lot of the time. He often gets yelled at because I'm stressing out over homework that needs to get done or because it's around that time of the month. He also comes over to my house almost every day, but sometimes I don't even get to pay much attention to him because I have a lot of homework or I have to go work. It doesn't matter to him if I only see him for five minutes or five hours - it's the fact that I got to see him that day that makes him happy.
Also, I haven't talked to a lot of my friends in about a month. There are a few that I hang out with every week or so, but then there are those people who I was really close with before college that have drifted away. I miss those people, but I don't make an effort to hang out with them much any more. I tried making an effort earlier this year but my efforts were ignored. I'm sick of trying. I can't be the only one trying to make our friendships work. Friendship is a two-way street. As much as it hurts me to stop making an effort I think I have to. If people don't want to try and make plans with me, I can't make them. It just hurts because I know that when breaks come around or when summer comes around again they will want to make plans. I understand that everyone is busy and has hectic schedules. I do to, but I am willing to try and make plans for something as simple as a lunch to catch up on what is going on in their lives. I know that they can take an hour out of their busy lives to catch up. They spend more time than that on myspace and facebook doing stupid quizzes and surveys. I guess this could be looked at as a good thing though. It lets me know who is really my friend and who is just a friend when it is convenient for them.
This week I started carpooling with Tanya to school. We haven't really talked in a few years so it was nice getting to catch up with her. We also talked about how our friends are doing. Some are good while others are not so good. It kind of sucks to see that some people who had a lot of potential are letting it go to waste. I also realized that I'm not the only one going through the losing friends thing. I know it happens to everyone when they graduate. Even though I graduated almost 3 years ago now, I am still trying to come to terms with it. I've said it before, but I'll say it again - I don't adjust to change well.
I know I keep going in all different directions with this entry, but it's just what is coming to mind. With the weather getting colder around here (we've already had our first glimpse of snowflakes) I want to do nothing more than curl up next to Charlie and forget about the rest of the world. Unfortunately I have six more weeks before classes are over. Also, I don't get to spend a lot of time with him until Sunday which upsets me. Normally we have all Friday to hang out, but he closes tomorrow night. Oh well. I guess I can take the time to do my online homework. I just can't wait until this semester is over. The number of projects I have assigned to me just keeps growing as we get closer to the end of the semester. I don't know that I can handle all of this work. I also feel like I am farther behind all of the people who actually started school at Eastern. All of the people who I graduated with who are going to school there for teaching have already taken their Basic Skills Test and are getting admitted into the College of Education. I just missed the last Basic Skills Test, so I won't be able to apply for the College of Ed for next semester. Also, it seems like everyone else has way more credits than I do. Tanya was talking about being able to substitute teach next fall. To be a substitute you need to have taken 90 credit hours. I think I transferred with 52 credits, so when you add in my 17 for this semester I will only have 69 credits - granted I still have another semester to go. Well, now that I have typed all of this out, I've realized that if I take 15 credit hours next semester (which I have to to get the other half of my scholarship) that will give me 84 credit hours. Then I could take a spring and a summer class, or two spring classes and have 90 credit hours. That would allow me to be a substitute teacher. Holy crap. That seems shocking to me. I'm getting closer and closer to my goal. I just need to remember if I did transfer over with 52 credits or not. I'm pretty sure but I don't quite remember.
Anyways, I think that is enough rambling for tonight. :)