It has been amazing. Robin will miss their time in Paris. He will miss Paris but most of all, he will miss sharing it with her. It has been... perfect, frankly, and he rarely uses that word to describe anything, but there is nothing he would change about their trip. Nothing he would have liked to do differently. No time spent in a hotel room that he wishes they'd spent in the city, and no time spent in the city that he wishes had been spent in bed with her instead.
The sound of her laugh makes him smile as he leans in for that kiss. The corners of his lips pull upward, and he pulls her in as close as he can to him. The smile is still on his face when he pulls back and can see the expression on hers. His hand lingers against the side of her face before it falls down around her waist to keep her close.
Robin sees that look on her face, the brow lift, and he knows what it means. He also knows that he could not hide his seriousness from her even if he wanted to. There's a seriousness to it and a lightness too.
They both like planning everything in advance. Something about her has always brought his spontaneous side out, and it hardly has seemed right to plan out their wedding as much as they both want it. They never looked through wedding books, made decisions about who should come and where it would be.
This feels... right.
"That has always been my ultimate goal," Robin says softly, teasingly as well. "Making an honest woman out of you." His smile twists into a devious, little smirk which loses its feeling thanks to the loving expression in his eyes. "Only so I could sleep with you, of course."
Of course.
His hands tighten at her waist, and he kisses her again. Because he wants to. Because he can. He lingers against her lips and barely pulls back before speaking again.
While she does prefer to stick to routine and plan out most things ahead--if she can, Rachel loved the lack of planning. They took a train and went wherever they wanted to go, whenever they felt like going. They'd wake up without a set time, no alarm reminding them there was somewhere they needed to be. They'd return to the hotel whenever they were done, whether it was late or not. They did whatever they felt like doing and she has never felt more rested and at peace.
She's been this happy with him, but she has never felt so at peace. It settles solidly, quietly into her chest and doesn't go away.
The only sounds that can be heard from where they stand against the railing is the chatter of the people walking past and the street noise here and there. No disaster to be averted. Nothing to run from. They can take their time, enjoy themselves, without wondering till when.
Perhaps other couples would have done things differently. There's no doubt in her mind other women would have most likely gone Bridezilla about the affair while planning everything to the last detail.
They've always done things a bit differently.
Understating a bit.
After all they have been through, everything that's led to them learning they can never be sure of what's to come and why it's best to live for now, is it any surprise they're taking things day by day and doing what feels right when the time comes? It's the only way to live now.
"Oh," she says with an indignant sigh, slapping him on the chest lightly. "I see how it is. Showing me your true colors right now."
It may be assumed Rachel has already bought Robin those thick socks. The color being an elegant gray, of course.
"Are there?" she asks, allowing herself to be pulled closer. Her own arms wind around his waist as she presses a kiss to his neck. "Much as I love the idea, I'm pretty sure we need more than the church to be married."
The lack of planning was one of the best parts about their vacation. They got to enjoy each day, each moment without knowing what awaited in the next and without having to know. It was about her and about him and where ever the moment lead them. No alarm clocks. No fighting to stay awake to do one last thing.
They could sleep when they wanted to. They had no obligations, no responsibilities.
There was only her and only being with her.
It seems right that the wedding should be at the end of this trip. They may never have a trip like this again. Robin hopes that they will but they might not. There has nothing he has learned more than that nothing is guaranteed. They have to take the moments they are given. Time is short.
And for most of his life, time has felt so long, so unending.
Now that he doesn't want it to ever end, his time has never been more limited because of the risks that he takes now with her, because of the city that they fight for.
Isn't that funny? A person finally finds reasons to live, and it's at that point that life becomes short for them.
"Do you see how it is?" Robin's smile widens when she slaps him on the chest. Hobag of all hobags. "I'm sorry." The smirk on his face says otherwise. "I should have mentioned it earlier."
If that is the case, they must have their after-wedding sex with Robin wearing those socks... and those socks only. Ahem.
"There are jewelers in Paris too," he reminds her softly, pressing a kiss into her hair. "And I have money. Other than the rings and the church and each other, I don't know what else we could need."
Rachel would like to think they'll have more trips like this one.
She'd like to, while also keeping herself firmly in check when it comes to what's real. The risks they take, the city they live in, the likelihood of it truly happening--she isn't kidding herself, but she'll still hope for the best. There should never come a time when she resigns herself to a different sort of fate than the one she fights for, despite the odds.
If there is anything their journey has been about, it's hope.
And she may have been close to losing it the past few months. It may have been hanging on by a thin thread throughout the CLF's resurgence, but here and now, hope seems like such an unbreakable and worthwhile thing.
She's still smiling, hard as she tries to keep a straight face, and she folds her arms across her chest. "This isn't easily forgiven, Robin. Marriage for pie, what has this world come to."
It was over a year ago they met. It was over a year ago they had their first date, and now they're here, not even a day away from being married. A big commitment that would have seemed difficult to tackle on due to what it represents in intimacy with someone else, and she doesn't find it difficult at all.
There's nothing about this that inspires doubt or nerves. The year she has lived in this world has changed her more than she can explain, but it's also paved the way for a new life. One she has now fully embraced, and can't imagine living without.
There's nothing to question.
There's nothing to wait for.
She leans her cheek against his, keeping still while the emotion courses through her. It's strong and it's good and it isn't fleeting. They're going to be married. It isn't the first time it's hit her throughout the trip, but the intense emotional response is the same.
"We don't need anything else," she says, just as softly. "But then you should probably lead the way, lest I get us lost."
Again. It's likely Rachel, bossy that she is, tried to take them places and ended up somewhere else instead. But who's counting?
Robin once thought that it was idiotic to hope for something better than what was realistically in the cards for oneself. It lead only to disappointment. It lead to a harder fall. More than that, he had always assumed that what everyone had told him was true.
It has been about hope. For him, it's been about learning to hope against all odds. He tried for the first time because of her, and he learned how to hope on his own without her near, because she believed in him first.
As he got to know her, he realized that hope could not be idiotic. Rachel is the smartest person that he has ever met. She's practical. She knows what she's talking about. There had to be meaning to hope. There had to be reason to hope if she was hoping despite all obstacles and odds.
She lead him by example whether she meant to do so or not. It feels like so shortly after meeting her, everything changed. Sometimes it feels like that second that they did meet with his awkward leaving... that it changed even then.
Robin should have known that nothing would be the same after that. What he felt for her in that first meeting had been unlike anything he had felt before, not even that immediate falling for Natasha could compare. It was more terrifying because it felt so real.
"I've no idea what this world has come to," he says with a cheeky, little grin. "But this is one of the many reasons why there is a Rachel Dawes in it. To set us all right again. Particularly me."
He needs the most setting right by Rachel Dawes. Oh yes.
Over a year ago, he never would have imagined that they would be here in Paris. He has said it so many times, but marriage has never been anything that he considered a possibility for himself. It's in front of him, alive, vibrant, and intense, and it is right.
It is more right than so much else has been in his life.
They do not need anything else. It's true. His arm slips around her waist as he looks at her and senses that emotion coursing through her as it's in tune with his own emotions. It is amazing, indescribable. There's joy and a rightness that's to such an intensity that they're both filling up his chest.
He has never felt more whole in his life.
"I will lead the way," Robin confirms, and he pulls her in by her waist so she's pressed close to him and starts down the sidewalk.
As excited as he is to marry her, there is no speed or hurry to his walk. It's as casual as it had been before with a certain purpose to it that's new. The first jewelry store that they pass that looks respectable, he walks into with her at his side.
There's sincere joy in his greeting to the jeweler behind the shelf, and he has a short conversation in French with him, explaining the situation. The man glees, steps forward, and kisses them both on either sides of their cheeks before bringing out his finest assortment of wedding rings along the counter.
"I believe it's best if we pick these out together," Robin whispers to her, stepping forward to have a closer look.
There are many different options to choose from, and Robin is scanning them all to look for something that reminds him of her, that reminds him of both of them.
"Fortunately for you, I've decided I'm up for the task," she says with a solemn need. See how solemn she looks, only not. She leans against him, waist drawn to his arm as they walk. There's bursts of energy and life in the cobblestone street corner. The narrow of it only serves to accentuate the graceful and old-style buildings framing its path.
It leads to other streets, similar and not. They're unique in their own way, lined by outdoor cafes and people in them living their own stories.
There's a couple kissing by a lamppost and a writer typing away in their laptop at the cafe and conversations she does not understand and does not need to.
It's beautiful and she loves it so much.
There hasn't been a part of this city she has not fallen in love with, and it's made all the more special by the fact she experienced it with him.
From the moment she admitted this is the place she most wanted to visit--that first date they spoke of that happened over a year now, she'd known she'd see it with her own eyes.
Rachel just couldn't have known it'd be quite like this. Much as she is resistant to the idea of life's surprises, she's more than happy with this one. They've agreed and given their reasons as to why this should be between them and them alone, but there's a moment as they're walking to the store Rachel wonders what her mother would say to her if she could.
She'd be happy for her, and that goes without saying, but Rachel doesn't know what she'd say. She wishes she did. It doesn't last long, the moment.
They're inside the store and she's seized again by that feeling. It's just an important day, okay? A woman's allowed to have the full spectrum of her emotions. Even one as practical as Rachel.
She's surprised when the jeweler surges forward, more amused than anything else. She has no idea what they're saying and doesn't seem to mind.The jeweler claps his hands and calls his helper, who rushes forward and hugs both Rachel and Robin, hand furiously fanning his face. As if overcome by emotion.
Okay then.
"I like these. They're all little expensive though, aren't they?" she asks doubtfully, leaning forward beside him and peering over the counter, her finger tapping the glass against the ones she likes. They're beautiful, and there's no doubt about that, but they are expensive.
The helper, who's name Rachel learns later on is Gerard, pulls her aside.
It was explained this is all rather impromptu, he says. And yet, he must know if she has at the very least a suitable dress.
Rachel does not and this is, apparently, a sacrilege.
Marie! Oh, Marie!
"We'll bring her back to you in just a moment," Gerard says decisively, and Rachel is pulled away and gives Robin a quizzical look before following.
The bursts of life in every corner of Paris, of life and love and hope are part of what drew him to it in the first place. It is a romantic city, and despite the fact that he has acted sick and nauseous at the sight of such things for most of his life, he truly is a romantic at heart, under those walls of darkness and anger and hate.
It was in this city that he first felt most at peace, and he should have known at that point that there was more to him than the anger and hate, but he thought that the feeling had been made entirely by the city.
He'd had no idea that he could find that peace again somewhere else because of her, because she opened his heart to that possibility of something more within himself. Not only within a city. Not only within her alone.
There is no one Robin wants to share this with. Romana would maybe be proud but not quite understand how he could fall for a wanderer of all people. His own mother... Well. Maybe his sister. His sister would find a lot of joy to know that he... that he has found happiness without her help, without her dragging him kicking and screaming to do so.
He would write her if he knew where she was.
None of this is what Robin is thinking about at the moment. He is examining these rings with great intent, trying to find one that he deems appropriate and worthy enough of what he is feeling. There is absolutely no piece of jewelry that could properly represent it. He realizes that but he does want it to be as close to perfect as possible.
"Rachel," Robin says with a small laugh at the question. He is not at all surprised that this is how she responds. "You only get married once. Well, I'm planning on only getting married once but you get the picture. I am able to afford any of these after a lifetime of work."
He is willing to pay and has the means to pay for any of it without leaving them in trouble. Decades of work without much to spend it all on, and he has always been careful about saving his money.
Robin is still focused on the rings when Rachel is pulled to the side so he doesn't have any idea what they're talking about. If this were Chicago, his reaction to her going away with strangers would be different without some idea of where she was going, but it's Paris and everyone here seems familiar to him.
He raises an eyebrow at them as they pull her away but sees no ill intentions here. Robin points to a set of rings that Rachel had been looking at and that had called to him too.
"Those are perfect," he says, and he has them up on the counter wanting to ask Rachel for her opinion before making a final choice. They seem to be simple, classic, elegant, and beautiful. They say so much without doing so in a flashy way, and it would be comfortable to wear.
Robin slips one on to be certain it fits and then sets it down. He turns to look to where they brought Rachel and asks in French, "You're not stealing my wife-to-be, are you?"
Robin isn't just a romantic. He's a romantic hobag, and that truly makes all the difference in the world. Rachel has never been one to give away easily to sentimentality. And falling in love with Robin has given her a new appreciation for it.
All of those things she never saw the point to, couldn't see herself doing, are things she now wants to do.
Things she has done and loved and wanted to do again. And Rachel knows it's been the same for him.
She nudges him with her shoulder, conceding to his point without making a fuss of the matter. He's right, of course. This is a once in a lifetime thing, but still. "What exactly are you implying?" she demands, a hand on her hip. "I plan on marrying only once myself, thank you very much."
Sighing contentedly, she rests her chin on his shoulder and continues to inspect the rings just as carefully. They're both perfectionists in their own way and for their own reasons, but in this case they both agree on the why. It has to be special and as close to perfect as it can be. It won't be able to aptly describe the real thing, but then, nothing could.
Rachel doesn't startle when she's pulled away. It's not only because they're in a different city. It's not quite possible for her to let her guard down completely wherever she is. She's always alert and not easily and immediately trusting of strangers.
But she also likes to think she's a good judge of character, and there's something about these people that inspires confidence. The older woman's smile is kind as she leads her up the stairs and toward another room. The helper laughs at Robin's question and answers a, "If I were, would I tell you?"
Robin and Rachel are apparently not the only couple that marry on the spot. There are several dresses to choose from, but there's only one that immediately calls out to her. The others are too extravagant. Poofy, flashy, crinoline-inspired dresses that she wouldn't honestly wear.
The other one is far simpler and understated and she loves it.
It fits her like a glove and if she didn't know better, she'd think this was fated.
She steps on to the small platform to look at herself in the full length mirror. Rachel takes a deep breath, smoothing out the skirt and staring at herself in the mirror, trying not to cry. Stupid female emotions. Marie is fussing with the hem and mentioning how Robin is a handsome devil. She asks who will give her away, and Rachel says she is giving herself away.
Marie seems rather impressed with this and steps back. She orders Rachel to wear her hair down when the time comes and places a small studded barrette in her hand. Something old and borrowed.
Rachel promises to give it back. She tries not to cry again while thanking the woman profusely.
"Remember! He's not supposed to see it," Marie says while she leads Rachel back. She repeats this in English, her accent thick and unmistakable, and Rachel smiles and nods her promise.
She returns to Robin's side with a bag that conceals the dress. It's small enough one wouldn't guess it's a dress. Rachel looks at his hand and picks it up with hers, thumb tracing the outline of the ring.
Robin is the original romantic hobag, thank you very much, and he is proud to be so though he had always been only a hobag before he met her. She did change him in so many wonderful, amazing ways. There would be no way that he could ever list them all as much as he would like to be able to, to say thank you for each and every good thing that she has ever done for him and the many ways that she has changed him for the better.
The amazing part of all that is that he realizes he has changed her too... for the better. It is one thing to believe that a strong woman can change him (though he would never have believed how much she's changed him), but another entirely to think that he has done something so wonderful and amazing for someone else. If asked, he would always say and still believes that she has done so much more for him than he has ever done for her, but he recognizes that he has done a lot for her and that she has changed for the better because he loves her and she loves him. This is an absolute impossibility.... or it would have been only a year ago.
He never would have imagined it but he knows it to be true now as he looks at her with her chin resting against him. It is very difficult to focus on the rings when she is so near, and it isn't until she's pulled away that his head clears enough to allow him focus.
After all this time, he will finally be married to her. They are doing it on a whim, and it has never felt so right. Nothing could ever feel so right. It's such an important life decision, but it is one that they have made over their year together. It is one that they made when they came back together and said that neither of them wanted to be without the other again.
Robin only smirks at the question that is given in response. "I know I wouldn't tell me," he murmurs softly, shaking his head and marveling at the fact that he can have a conversation with someone that's a stranger that's so positive and good. There is no false charm presented on his part. There is no wondering of why he should bother considering he'll never see the man again.
It comes so easily now a days, and it all goes to show how much he's changed for the better.
He has no idea what's going on in that backroom until Rachel returns with a bag. It isn't hard to figure out that she's found a dress back there, which is good. She deserves a dress for this day, this moment between them even if they don't need the dress or the flowers or the music or the bouquet or the reception afterward. Rachel deserves a beautiful dress. One that she'll never wear again.
There are some wedding traditions that make his chest clench in a good, happy way, and he really likes to think that she'll have this dress for this day, they'll have their rings, and they'll have their church. And he doesn't even believe in God. Somehow it's not about that. It's about something that's different but of equal importance to him as religion would be to others.
It's about how far they have come together, how this whole relationship feels like it must have been orchestrated by a higher power. In that way, because of her, this day is sacred to him... and that's what the church is for.
Robin nods at her whisper, turning to smile at her. His eyes are bright, and he clears his throat. It isn't only women who get emotional at these times. Ahem.
"I thought so too," he confirms and then he turns back to the jeweler and pays for the rings, carries them in a nice bag in velvet boxes to be opened when they find the church.
It is only when they step out into the sidewalk again that he takes an audible breath. Robin turns to look at her. "The dress and the rings. Now all we need to find is a church, and I believe there's one down the sidewalk and around the corner. Gorgeous, old building. On the small side, but I once walked by it around winter. Most beautiful singing you've ever heard pouring out through the stain glass windows somehow."
And when he walks out of that church, he'll be able to call her his wife.
It would be impossible to experience everything they have experienced and remain unchanged. Together and separately, they have gone through so much it would be impossible to condense into one sentence. The person that stepped into the Conrad hotel for the first time, making her way over to him is not exactly the same to the woman that stands beside him now, perusing wedding bands.
Rachel smiles at him a little, noticing his lack of focus. She places her lips on his cheek momentarily before she goes upstairs and has her girly moment slash glass case of emotion.
It isn't totally on a whim, mind you.
They never agreed on a date but they did talk about it beforehand, though never with exacting details. They both spoke about marriage in general and wanting it with each other, wanting it the ceremony to be about just them, and doing it when the time was right. What better time than here, in this city that's come to mean so much for them, on a vacation that has been all but perfect?
She wasn't the little girl dreaming obsessively of perfect weddings. She wasn't the teenager who dreamed of finding prince charming and searching for dresses and rings ahead of time. Her dreams were always different. Her priorities had always been so very idealistic and activist-minded.
Rachel wanted to be a lawyer. Rachel wanted to change the world. Rachel wanted to restore order and justice in Gotham. Rachel saw plenty of her old high school classmates marry young while she was hunched over law books, studying for her bar exam. And she never quite understood the fascination for it. Never understood what the big deal was, always placing it aside for later in favor of work and idealism and what have you.
Not she understands, albeit a different sort of understanding. No two people are the same. No two relationships are ever the same. No one else has lived exactly what Rachel and Robin have. No one else could understand exactly what it is they're promising to each other and exactly why they are here today. That's just as amazing.
When he turns to her with that smile, different from so many other smiles she has seen of him, she leans forward, thumb brushing his chin and placing another quick kiss on his lips. He is totally allowed to his emotions, okay.
She takes his hand once more and that's how she walks, beside him. Not one step ahead, not one step behind. Just right beside him. "Then that's the church for us," she concludes lightly. Her gaze is anything but, and the closer they get the bigger the emotion in her chest feels.
Robin wasn't lying when he said it was gorgeous. Rachel breathes in deeply, glancing upward and admiring the stained glass windows as they step inside. The silence found within is just as peaceful as the whole feeling enveloping her, and she's kind of left without words the more she looks at it.
The priest finished mass only an hour ago, and he makes his way over to them once they've been spotted. Rachel will let Robin start the conversation, since she cannot speak French to save her life, much as she loathes to admit it. There's a room where she can change and a choirboy that can be their witness. The man's features are one of the kindest she has seen, and he seems to understand the meaning of why they're here today.
Rachel turns back at Robin, her throat suddenly thick.
Next time she sees him she'll be walking toward him and a priest, promising till death do them part.
This might be more nerve-wracking to someone that hasn't already made such a promise, if only to herself.
"See you on the other side?" she asks with a wobbly smile, squeezing his hand lightly, once.
It would be impossible, and Robin is happy to have changed so much. He has discovered that life and living can make him happy, and he never thought that it could. He never thought that he could wake up in the morning with a sincere smile on his face that comes from something else, something other than the lingering rage and memories that could never leave him be do to what he is.
Who could live in the present when they are changed so painfully to the past? Rachel taught him how. She lead by example. She believed in him. She loved him, and he found that there must be something to believe in, something worth loving within himself if she found those things within him. Rachel made every moment that he was with her a joy.
Never with anyone else has he wanted to spend so much time with. He never felt like he saw her enough at the start with the days in between the times they ran into one another then. He had met her once or twice before he went away to look for a cure, and he thought about her far too many times for someone who should have been merely a stranger to him.
Robin does not know why it all worked out the way that it did. He will never understand it but he will never stop being grateful that it has worked out this way. There are so many moments where so much could have shifted in another way entirely. She could have been lost to the hotel destruction. He could have succeeded with killing himself on the many occasions where he stood on one edge or another. They could have never gotten back together, the first or the second time.
They suffered and wept. They felt so much pain to get to this point, but it wasn't only that. There was so much love and hope and happiness felt as well. If it had only been the negative, they never would have made it here. Their relationship would not have survived.
There has always been more, and in the darkest times when he was alone, he remembered that and it often gave him strength.
No one else will ever know what it is like to love Rachel the way that he does, and no one else will ever know what it is like to be loved by Rachel in the manner in which she loves him. This is theirs entirely, his entirely. No one can take it from him.
Death will come. One day, they will die but the fact that this love was theirs and theirs alone... that will always remain true. The truth will survive while the two of them die.
Robin smiles against her thumb and swallows thickly. There are plenty of emotions for them both but it's understandable considering all they have been through. He pulls her hand down gently, wrapping it in his, and leans in to kiss her again.
There is a different light and air to the church, looking at it and knowing what it will become and what it is doing for them. When he passed it at a younger age, long before he met her, he had faltered there and waited in front of its steps for two minutes. As soon as he gained his senses, he scolded himself.
A church is only one more building with stone and glass and wood. Nothing to be drawn in by.
Now he understands. Now he knows exactly how a building can be more than stone and glass and wood. It can have meaning beyond those materials that make it up. The meaning is made by what happens inside and by the people who enter and exit through the doors.
He is excited and emotional but at such peace too. This feels right, and he can't quite get over how right it feels when so much in his life has been wrong, has felt disjointed and out of place and bad. This is good and right, and he even likes the damned priest and thinks the choirboy is adorable.
Honestly, he looks like he did as a child, not exactly but there's the blond hair, the hesitant upward glance. This child has more freckles. His face is cleaner, and there aren't any bruises but it's... strange. It's reminding him of being that small boy, and for once, it's not painful so much as it feels like he's coming full circle, becoming more whole than even that little boy knew how to feel.
Robin turns to look at her, and he leans in to kiss her one last time. His hands remain against her face and he pulls back, sending her a rather emotional smile of his own. "See you then, Rachel Dawes," he says with such fondness and love in the saying of her name. Her name. His chest clenches with happiness, and he releases her hand almost reluctantly.
When she returns, the main portion of the church will have hundreds of candles let. There aren't flowers, only that fire. Robin's suit will have been straightened, and he will be standing at the end of the row, turning toward her when the priest prompts him to, waiting anxiously for what will be the best and happiest moment of his life.
It isn't strange, the fact there's no one else in the church but them and it doesn't feel empty. It's not empty. Their history, what's led them to this very place in this very moment, and everything they've become is there with them in the low-lit temple. She loves him and he loves her and that can be found within the church, as well. Rachel looks over the stained glass and the statues and the narrow aisle that leads to the altar, not wanting to miss an inch of it. She doesn't know if she'll ever be back here.
She doesn't know if she'll ever see this church again, and get to say, this is where I was married. It might be this one time and she wants to make it count. It meant something to Robin long before they met. For whatever reason, he stopped on his way to wherever he was going, and it made enough of an impression he's remembered it years later.
Rachel wants to remember it for however long it is she has to remember.
The same way she's remembered absolutely everything they've ever shared together. Every date, every dance, every mistake, every demand. Every time they laughed and cried and made love and everything in between.
She rests her forehead against his for a moment, smile widening when he says her full name. It's more the way he says it than anything else. It's knowing this is just as important to him as it is to her. It's knowing she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, knowing the same feeling that made her kiss him back that first time is the same feeling that's lasted and grown immeasurably to what it is now. Knowing the battles they fought and the ones they lost and the hurt they endured led them to something like this.
It's with reluctance she releases his hand, too.
Rachel gives one last look, one last familiar smile, and then she's led to the bridal room. It's small, the way the church is small, and it's beautiful like the rest of it. She doesn't think she's ever been somewhere that's so old and beautiful at the same time. She stands in the very center of the room, appraising the whole of it, hand gripping the edge of the bag with her dress.
The dress is not extravagant, and it's still the most beautiful dress she's owned. It seems fitting she'll only wear it once and why. Because it's simple and unlike the big, poofy gowns brides often wear, she doesn't need help slipping it on. It slides down her body easily and the small trail at the back rustles on the floor.
As she promised the woman at the store, she takes off the pins keeping her dark hair in a swept-up style and lets it fall down to her shoulders.
The only piece of jewelry she's wearing is the heart necklace Robin gave her for her birthday. Her fingers linger over the surface, tracing its shape before her hand drops back down to her side. "This is it," she says to no one in particular, gaze lingering on her reflection in the mirror.
No one in particular, except maybe her mother. She thinks of Bruce and she thinks of Alfred, of her friends in Chicago, but she speaks to her mother alone. Rachel herself isn't much for religion and the practice of it. She went to a Catholic school, strangely enough, because her mother was a believer, but Rachel claimed she was too practical for it. Her faith wasn't placed in a God, catholic or otherwise. Her faith was stored in people and the world they shaped.
Now she can't be sure after all she has witnessed (not to mention the plagues she survived) and either way, it doesn't matter.
Rachel believes somehow, from somewhere, some place mothers and daughters meet beyond a world that doesn't contain them both--her mother is listening.
"I really love him." She wipes at the corner of her eyes and smiles tearfully at the reflection. "You'd have liked him, too."
Taking one final deep breath, she steps outside the room with a steady calmness that is only eclipsed by that peaceful, happy feeling that is stronger than anything she can remember. She's still blocked by the arched entrance, but is noticed by the choirboy that does rather look like what she'd envisioned Robin as a small child.
The choirboy lifts up the small bouquet they've procured from her (from an earlier ceremony) with reddened cheeks while Rachel simultaneously leans down to pick it up. "Merci," she whispers with a deepened smile, wide enough to almost show a dimple on her left cheek.
Rachel runs a knuckle down the side of his face and his cheeks only seem to get redder. Then he's racing down the aisle to announce Rachel is ready. It isn't until he gives her the thumbs up that she appears.
Rachel, you're the most important person to me. It's you. It always will be. You deserve to be loved and to love. I've seen you, and I love all of it when you're crying, when you're making those tough decisions, when you're laughing, when you've fallen asleep.
You gave me Paris, and you gave me a home here, when I thought I'd never have one again after Gotham. You found me that day and you took me to that hotel and I've loved you for what feels like a very long time now. I'm always going to love you. Years from now, wherever we end up, that's still going to be true.
No, no one is ever going to truly know how much one loves the other and vice-versa.
Hi, Rachel mouths at him, that same deep smile she's held from the moment she existed the room. The walk down the aisle seems endless and not long enough.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore - is not by any - to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly - but reverently..."
Robin has remembered absolutely everything that they have shared together as well. Most of his life has existed in a blur of meetings and all the work that is involved with being an assistant. Many of his memories have squashed together into a mess. He cannot pick out one from the next but he remember this past year.
He remembers how it all happened with her, and he remembers the words that they have shared with one another. There have been times where those words are all that has seen him through. While he did find hope on his own eventually, there were dark places that he visited. He remembered what she had said to him before. He remembered what he'd said to her and what it felt like to say those things, and it carried him through.
There is no doubt in his mind that this will be the strongest memory of them all. It is a culmination of all that they have been through and all that they are. Throughout this entire trip, they have been reliving it either out loud or in their own heads. They have gone over the bad and the good time and time again.
It all comes together here.
Robin can feel that in his chest as he stands waiting for her. She walked away from him, and he felt a flood of that knowing... of knowing that the next time that he sees her, she will become his wife. His wife. And he will be her husband.
They will wear rings that symbolize the fact that they are each others, that they plan to be with one another 'til death do they part', through sickness and all the rest. They did not need the ring or ceremony to do that. These were promises that they had already made to each other and would already see through if the idea of marriage had never even come up in their heads. They are not getting married because they need to but because they want to.
It feels right and good for the entire world to know how he feels about her and how long he is planning on being with her (til death). It is the little things like that band on his finger that will remind him as her words have and as his memories with her have of what they fight for, of what he has. It will be one more weapon to use against the battle with that inner monster of his. It is theirs and it is more than that. It is so many things, and there will never be words enough to describe what all it means that he can stand with her and marry her.
It means so much to him, and he turns when the priest prompts him to.
He turns to look at her when she steps out into the main room. His breath is taken violently from him. Words and thoughts and memories leave him quick, and it is a wonder that he manages to remain standing. The sight of her in that classic, white gown is enough to make him weak in the knees and breathless.
His gaze is only for her as it has been so many other times, but this time is different. This time there is that extra intensity to it all, and he takes in the sight of her, drinks it all in, and then notices every part, every detail of how she looks in this moment. The dress, her hair, the way she moves toward him but more than that... so much more than that, her expression. Robin memorizes the way that her face looks as she walks toward him.
He will never forget it, and he is still trying to catch his breath when she stops next to him. Robin can't quite manage to mouth a single word. He has not found the words since she stole the breath from him by walking out in that dress looking absolutely beautiful in the candlelight.
The priest's words fade into the background. The man seems to recognize that this is a private moment between the two of them, which is why he does not say much. He says the basics. He reiterates the meaning of marriage. It is not to be entered lightly but reverently, joining two people together in something that's sacred.
He says his part as simply and unobtrusively as he can and then he nods, urges them to take their vows.
Robin goes first, and there's that half second where he wishes that they had planned out the wedding. He wants what he's going to say to be perfect but then the words come and they come easily even if they are not technically perfect in any sense. It's natural and true and right as everything between them has been.
Robin takes in another breath. It is not steady. It could never be steady in the face of the emotions pulling through him like rope tightening across the whole of him, not to hurt but to remind him of what he feels for her and how that means he could never be alone.
He reaches for her. He does not know if it is custom in marriage or if it is allowed at this point but his hand finds her and he holds it close to his chest. His thumb slides down the top of her hand. Her hands are warm and smooth beneath his own. Robin knows each of the lines of her hand. He knows the subtle difference between what it feels like to hold her hand when she is stressed or when she is at peace or when she needs him.
There's that moment where it occurs to him again. This beautiful, demanding, strong, intelligent, and brave woman needs him and she loves him too. She knows nearly everything that there is to know about him, and she stands across from him wanting to marry him until death do they part. If nothing else in his life could make him feel like he was worth something, this much alone could make him feel like he was worth so much.
One more unstable, shaky breath taken in through the heavy wall of emotion that has slammed down upon him.
He tightens his hold on her hand, aware of what the burning in his eyes means and not caring that it is there. They have always been able to be bare and vulnerable with one another. This moment should be no different. His eyes are bright but he makes no effort to hold back the tears or to push back that wall of emotion.
"Rachel," he breathes, and her name alone is like a prayer of its own in this sacred place. One that is joyous and complete and strong. It's more praise than prayer in its nature. "From the moment that I met you, I felt this connection to you. It wasn't until the second time that I recognized it as a connection, stronger than anything I had felt before, and I was terrified of it. But again, from the very moment that I met you, that terror did not determine how I acted. It did not send me hiding from you permanently. Before I really ever even knew you, you gave me strength and more than that, you gave me the ability to find strength within myself by the example that you led, by believing in me and showing that you did believe in me."
Memory after memory slides through his mind. The words come easily though he stumbles on the emotion and gets caught up in it as he tries to say it all as well as he can.
"Some people will describe love as making them feel weak. For so long, I believed that love could only be a weakness especially for someone like me." Robin hesitates, breath catching on something painful and wonderful, throat tightening. He does not take his gaze from her, not once but his hold on her hand tightens. "Loving you has never been weak. The love that I feel for you and have felt for over a year, Rachel, it has always made me stronger and better. I am at my absolute best when I am with you. All of the ways that I have changed along the way, I never would have changed if not for you, and every change has been for the better. You have inspired me. You have built me up. You have given so much of yourself to me, and it has all been a gift and a blessing, and I hardly believed in such things before I met me. You have stood in the face of such destruction and pain, and you never held me up with your own hands but you gave me the ability and the realization that I could stand on my own with you. Despite what everyone else says about love, I believe that is so much more important. You have given me... so much, and I would never be able to list it all. I would never be able to say everything that I feel and all that you have done for me, and it doesn't matter how many words I say because they could never be enough to... to say it all."
He swallows thickly again. The tears slip down his face freely, and he makes no effort to clear them away. He is bare and vulnerable with her. It is as they had hoped it would be. Robin is unaware of the priest or the choirboy. 'God' is the furthest thing from his mind. It's Rachel. It's only him with her.
The sound of her laugh makes him smile as he leans in for that kiss. The corners of his lips pull upward, and he pulls her in as close as he can to him. The smile is still on his face when he pulls back and can see the expression on hers. His hand lingers against the side of her face before it falls down around her waist to keep her close.
Robin sees that look on her face, the brow lift, and he knows what it means. He also knows that he could not hide his seriousness from her even if he wanted to. There's a seriousness to it and a lightness too.
They both like planning everything in advance. Something about her has always brought his spontaneous side out, and it hardly has seemed right to plan out their wedding as much as they both want it. They never looked through wedding books, made decisions about who should come and where it would be.
This feels... right.
"That has always been my ultimate goal," Robin says softly, teasingly as well. "Making an honest woman out of you." His smile twists into a devious, little smirk which loses its feeling thanks to the loving expression in his eyes. "Only so I could sleep with you, of course."
Of course.
His hands tighten at her waist, and he kisses her again. Because he wants to. Because he can. He lingers against her lips and barely pulls back before speaking again.
"There are quite a few churches in Paris..."
Reply
She's been this happy with him, but she has never felt so at peace. It settles solidly, quietly into her chest and doesn't go away.
The only sounds that can be heard from where they stand against the railing is the chatter of the people walking past and the street noise here and there. No disaster to be averted. Nothing to run from. They can take their time, enjoy themselves, without wondering till when.
Perhaps other couples would have done things differently. There's no doubt in her mind other women would have most likely gone Bridezilla about the affair while planning everything to the last detail.
They've always done things a bit differently.
Understating a bit.
After all they have been through, everything that's led to them learning they can never be sure of what's to come and why it's best to live for now, is it any surprise they're taking things day by day and doing what feels right when the time comes? It's the only way to live now.
"Oh," she says with an indignant sigh, slapping him on the chest lightly. "I see how it is. Showing me your true colors right now."
It may be assumed Rachel has already bought Robin those thick socks. The color being an elegant gray, of course.
"Are there?" she asks, allowing herself to be pulled closer. Her own arms wind around his waist as she presses a kiss to his neck. "Much as I love the idea, I'm pretty sure we need more than the church to be married."
Reply
They could sleep when they wanted to. They had no obligations, no responsibilities.
There was only her and only being with her.
It seems right that the wedding should be at the end of this trip. They may never have a trip like this again. Robin hopes that they will but they might not. There has nothing he has learned more than that nothing is guaranteed. They have to take the moments they are given. Time is short.
And for most of his life, time has felt so long, so unending.
Now that he doesn't want it to ever end, his time has never been more limited because of the risks that he takes now with her, because of the city that they fight for.
Isn't that funny? A person finally finds reasons to live, and it's at that point that life becomes short for them.
"Do you see how it is?" Robin's smile widens when she slaps him on the chest. Hobag of all hobags. "I'm sorry." The smirk on his face says otherwise. "I should have mentioned it earlier."
If that is the case, they must have their after-wedding sex with Robin wearing those socks... and those socks only. Ahem.
"There are jewelers in Paris too," he reminds her softly, pressing a kiss into her hair. "And I have money. Other than the rings and the church and each other, I don't know what else we could need."
Reply
She'd like to, while also keeping herself firmly in check when it comes to what's real. The risks they take, the city they live in, the likelihood of it truly happening--she isn't kidding herself, but she'll still hope for the best. There should never come a time when she resigns herself to a different sort of fate than the one she fights for, despite the odds.
If there is anything their journey has been about, it's hope.
And she may have been close to losing it the past few months. It may have been hanging on by a thin thread throughout the CLF's resurgence, but here and now, hope seems like such an unbreakable and worthwhile thing.
She's still smiling, hard as she tries to keep a straight face, and she folds her arms across her chest. "This isn't easily forgiven, Robin. Marriage for pie, what has this world come to."
It was over a year ago they met. It was over a year ago they had their first date, and now they're here, not even a day away from being married. A big commitment that would have seemed difficult to tackle on due to what it represents in intimacy with someone else, and she doesn't find it difficult at all.
There's nothing about this that inspires doubt or nerves. The year she has lived in this world has changed her more than she can explain, but it's also paved the way for a new life. One she has now fully embraced, and can't imagine living without.
There's nothing to question.
There's nothing to wait for.
She leans her cheek against his, keeping still while the emotion courses through her. It's strong and it's good and it isn't fleeting. They're going to be married. It isn't the first time it's hit her throughout the trip, but the intense emotional response is the same.
"We don't need anything else," she says, just as softly. "But then you should probably lead the way, lest I get us lost."
Again. It's likely Rachel, bossy that she is, tried to take them places and ended up somewhere else instead. But who's counting?
Reply
It has been about hope. For him, it's been about learning to hope against all odds. He tried for the first time because of her, and he learned how to hope on his own without her near, because she believed in him first.
As he got to know her, he realized that hope could not be idiotic. Rachel is the smartest person that he has ever met. She's practical. She knows what she's talking about. There had to be meaning to hope. There had to be reason to hope if she was hoping despite all obstacles and odds.
She lead him by example whether she meant to do so or not. It feels like so shortly after meeting her, everything changed. Sometimes it feels like that second that they did meet with his awkward leaving... that it changed even then.
Robin should have known that nothing would be the same after that. What he felt for her in that first meeting had been unlike anything he had felt before, not even that immediate falling for Natasha could compare. It was more terrifying because it felt so real.
"I've no idea what this world has come to," he says with a cheeky, little grin. "But this is one of the many reasons why there is a Rachel Dawes in it. To set us all right again. Particularly me."
He needs the most setting right by Rachel Dawes. Oh yes.
Over a year ago, he never would have imagined that they would be here in Paris. He has said it so many times, but marriage has never been anything that he considered a possibility for himself. It's in front of him, alive, vibrant, and intense, and it is right.
It is more right than so much else has been in his life.
They do not need anything else. It's true. His arm slips around her waist as he looks at her and senses that emotion coursing through her as it's in tune with his own emotions. It is amazing, indescribable. There's joy and a rightness that's to such an intensity that they're both filling up his chest.
He has never felt more whole in his life.
"I will lead the way," Robin confirms, and he pulls her in by her waist so she's pressed close to him and starts down the sidewalk.
As excited as he is to marry her, there is no speed or hurry to his walk. It's as casual as it had been before with a certain purpose to it that's new. The first jewelry store that they pass that looks respectable, he walks into with her at his side.
There's sincere joy in his greeting to the jeweler behind the shelf, and he has a short conversation in French with him, explaining the situation. The man glees, steps forward, and kisses them both on either sides of their cheeks before bringing out his finest assortment of wedding rings along the counter.
"I believe it's best if we pick these out together," Robin whispers to her, stepping forward to have a closer look.
There are many different options to choose from, and Robin is scanning them all to look for something that reminds him of her, that reminds him of both of them.
Reply
It leads to other streets, similar and not. They're unique in their own way, lined by outdoor cafes and people in them living their own stories.
There's a couple kissing by a lamppost and a writer typing away in their laptop at the cafe and conversations she does not understand and does not need to.
It's beautiful and she loves it so much.
There hasn't been a part of this city she has not fallen in love with, and it's made all the more special by the fact she experienced it with him.
From the moment she admitted this is the place she most wanted to visit--that first date they spoke of that happened over a year now, she'd known she'd see it with her own eyes.
Rachel just couldn't have known it'd be quite like this. Much as she is resistant to the idea of life's surprises, she's more than happy with this one. They've agreed and given their reasons as to why this should be between them and them alone, but there's a moment as they're walking to the store Rachel wonders what her mother would say to her if she could.
She'd be happy for her, and that goes without saying, but Rachel doesn't know what she'd say. She wishes she did. It doesn't last long, the moment.
They're inside the store and she's seized again by that feeling. It's just an important day, okay? A woman's allowed to have the full spectrum of her emotions. Even one as practical as Rachel.
She's surprised when the jeweler surges forward, more amused than anything else. She has no idea what they're saying and doesn't seem to mind.The jeweler claps his hands and calls his helper, who rushes forward and hugs both Rachel and Robin, hand furiously fanning his face. As if overcome by emotion.
Okay then.
"I like these. They're all little expensive though, aren't they?" she asks doubtfully, leaning forward beside him and peering over the counter, her finger tapping the glass against the ones she likes. They're beautiful, and there's no doubt about that, but they are expensive.
The helper, who's name Rachel learns later on is Gerard, pulls her aside.
It was explained this is all rather impromptu, he says. And yet, he must know if she has at the very least a suitable dress.
Rachel does not and this is, apparently, a sacrilege.
Marie! Oh, Marie!
"We'll bring her back to you in just a moment," Gerard says decisively, and Rachel is pulled away and gives Robin a quizzical look before following.
Reply
It was in this city that he first felt most at peace, and he should have known at that point that there was more to him than the anger and hate, but he thought that the feeling had been made entirely by the city.
He'd had no idea that he could find that peace again somewhere else because of her, because she opened his heart to that possibility of something more within himself. Not only within a city. Not only within her alone.
There is no one Robin wants to share this with. Romana would maybe be proud but not quite understand how he could fall for a wanderer of all people. His own mother... Well. Maybe his sister. His sister would find a lot of joy to know that he... that he has found happiness without her help, without her dragging him kicking and screaming to do so.
He would write her if he knew where she was.
None of this is what Robin is thinking about at the moment. He is examining these rings with great intent, trying to find one that he deems appropriate and worthy enough of what he is feeling. There is absolutely no piece of jewelry that could properly represent it. He realizes that but he does want it to be as close to perfect as possible.
"Rachel," Robin says with a small laugh at the question. He is not at all surprised that this is how she responds. "You only get married once. Well, I'm planning on only getting married once but you get the picture. I am able to afford any of these after a lifetime of work."
He is willing to pay and has the means to pay for any of it without leaving them in trouble. Decades of work without much to spend it all on, and he has always been careful about saving his money.
Robin is still focused on the rings when Rachel is pulled to the side so he doesn't have any idea what they're talking about. If this were Chicago, his reaction to her going away with strangers would be different without some idea of where she was going, but it's Paris and everyone here seems familiar to him.
He raises an eyebrow at them as they pull her away but sees no ill intentions here. Robin points to a set of rings that Rachel had been looking at and that had called to him too.
"Those are perfect," he says, and he has them up on the counter wanting to ask Rachel for her opinion before making a final choice. They seem to be simple, classic, elegant, and beautiful. They say so much without doing so in a flashy way, and it would be comfortable to wear.
Robin slips one on to be certain it fits and then sets it down. He turns to look to where they brought Rachel and asks in French, "You're not stealing my wife-to-be, are you?"
Reply
All of those things she never saw the point to, couldn't see herself doing, are things she now wants to do.
Things she has done and loved and wanted to do again. And Rachel knows it's been the same for him.
She nudges him with her shoulder, conceding to his point without making a fuss of the matter. He's right, of course. This is a once in a lifetime thing, but still. "What exactly are you implying?" she demands, a hand on her hip. "I plan on marrying only once myself, thank you very much."
Sighing contentedly, she rests her chin on his shoulder and continues to inspect the rings just as carefully. They're both perfectionists in their own way and for their own reasons, but in this case they both agree on the why. It has to be special and as close to perfect as it can be. It won't be able to aptly describe the real thing, but then, nothing could.
Rachel doesn't startle when she's pulled away. It's not only because they're in a different city. It's not quite possible for her to let her guard down completely wherever she is. She's always alert and not easily and immediately trusting of strangers.
But she also likes to think she's a good judge of character, and there's something about these people that inspires confidence. The older woman's smile is kind as she leads her up the stairs and toward another room. The helper laughs at Robin's question and answers a, "If I were, would I tell you?"
Robin and Rachel are apparently not the only couple that marry on the spot. There are several dresses to choose from, but there's only one that immediately calls out to her. The others are too extravagant. Poofy, flashy, crinoline-inspired dresses that she wouldn't honestly wear.
The other one is far simpler and understated and she loves it.
It fits her like a glove and if she didn't know better, she'd think this was fated.
She steps on to the small platform to look at herself in the full length mirror. Rachel takes a deep breath, smoothing out the skirt and staring at herself in the mirror, trying not to cry. Stupid female emotions. Marie is fussing with the hem and mentioning how Robin is a handsome devil. She asks who will give her away, and Rachel says she is giving herself away.
Marie seems rather impressed with this and steps back. She orders Rachel to wear her hair down when the time comes and places a small studded barrette in her hand. Something old and borrowed.
Rachel promises to give it back. She tries not to cry again while thanking the woman profusely.
"Remember! He's not supposed to see it," Marie says while she leads Rachel back. She repeats this in English, her accent thick and unmistakable, and Rachel smiles and nods her promise.
She returns to Robin's side with a bag that conceals the dress. It's small enough one wouldn't guess it's a dress. Rachel looks at his hand and picks it up with hers, thumb tracing the outline of the ring.
"That's the one," she whispers.
Reply
The amazing part of all that is that he realizes he has changed her too... for the better. It is one thing to believe that a strong woman can change him (though he would never have believed how much she's changed him), but another entirely to think that he has done something so wonderful and amazing for someone else. If asked, he would always say and still believes that she has done so much more for him than he has ever done for her, but he recognizes that he has done a lot for her and that she has changed for the better because he loves her and she loves him. This is an absolute impossibility.... or it would have been only a year ago.
He never would have imagined it but he knows it to be true now as he looks at her with her chin resting against him. It is very difficult to focus on the rings when she is so near, and it isn't until she's pulled away that his head clears enough to allow him focus.
After all this time, he will finally be married to her. They are doing it on a whim, and it has never felt so right. Nothing could ever feel so right. It's such an important life decision, but it is one that they have made over their year together. It is one that they made when they came back together and said that neither of them wanted to be without the other again.
Robin only smirks at the question that is given in response. "I know I wouldn't tell me," he murmurs softly, shaking his head and marveling at the fact that he can have a conversation with someone that's a stranger that's so positive and good. There is no false charm presented on his part. There is no wondering of why he should bother considering he'll never see the man again.
It comes so easily now a days, and it all goes to show how much he's changed for the better.
He has no idea what's going on in that backroom until Rachel returns with a bag. It isn't hard to figure out that she's found a dress back there, which is good. She deserves a dress for this day, this moment between them even if they don't need the dress or the flowers or the music or the bouquet or the reception afterward. Rachel deserves a beautiful dress. One that she'll never wear again.
There are some wedding traditions that make his chest clench in a good, happy way, and he really likes to think that she'll have this dress for this day, they'll have their rings, and they'll have their church. And he doesn't even believe in God. Somehow it's not about that. It's about something that's different but of equal importance to him as religion would be to others.
It's about how far they have come together, how this whole relationship feels like it must have been orchestrated by a higher power. In that way, because of her, this day is sacred to him... and that's what the church is for.
Robin nods at her whisper, turning to smile at her. His eyes are bright, and he clears his throat. It isn't only women who get emotional at these times. Ahem.
"I thought so too," he confirms and then he turns back to the jeweler and pays for the rings, carries them in a nice bag in velvet boxes to be opened when they find the church.
It is only when they step out into the sidewalk again that he takes an audible breath. Robin turns to look at her. "The dress and the rings. Now all we need to find is a church, and I believe there's one down the sidewalk and around the corner. Gorgeous, old building. On the small side, but I once walked by it around winter. Most beautiful singing you've ever heard pouring out through the stain glass windows somehow."
And when he walks out of that church, he'll be able to call her his wife.
Reply
Rachel smiles at him a little, noticing his lack of focus. She places her lips on his cheek momentarily before she goes upstairs and has her girly moment slash glass case of emotion.
It isn't totally on a whim, mind you.
They never agreed on a date but they did talk about it beforehand, though never with exacting details. They both spoke about marriage in general and wanting it with each other, wanting it the ceremony to be about just them, and doing it when the time was right. What better time than here, in this city that's come to mean so much for them, on a vacation that has been all but perfect?
She wasn't the little girl dreaming obsessively of perfect weddings. She wasn't the teenager who dreamed of finding prince charming and searching for dresses and rings ahead of time. Her dreams were always different. Her priorities had always been so very idealistic and activist-minded.
Rachel wanted to be a lawyer. Rachel wanted to change the world. Rachel wanted to restore order and justice in Gotham. Rachel saw plenty of her old high school classmates marry young while she was hunched over law books, studying for her bar exam. And she never quite understood the fascination for it. Never understood what the big deal was, always placing it aside for later in favor of work and idealism and what have you.
Not she understands, albeit a different sort of understanding. No two people are the same. No two relationships are ever the same. No one else has lived exactly what Rachel and Robin have. No one else could understand exactly what it is they're promising to each other and exactly why they are here today. That's just as amazing.
When he turns to her with that smile, different from so many other smiles she has seen of him, she leans forward, thumb brushing his chin and placing another quick kiss on his lips. He is totally allowed to his emotions, okay.
She takes his hand once more and that's how she walks, beside him. Not one step ahead, not one step behind. Just right beside him. "Then that's the church for us," she concludes lightly. Her gaze is anything but, and the closer they get the bigger the emotion in her chest feels.
Robin wasn't lying when he said it was gorgeous. Rachel breathes in deeply, glancing upward and admiring the stained glass windows as they step inside. The silence found within is just as peaceful as the whole feeling enveloping her, and she's kind of left without words the more she looks at it.
The priest finished mass only an hour ago, and he makes his way over to them once they've been spotted. Rachel will let Robin start the conversation, since she cannot speak French to save her life, much as she loathes to admit it. There's a room where she can change and a choirboy that can be their witness. The man's features are one of the kindest she has seen, and he seems to understand the meaning of why they're here today.
Rachel turns back at Robin, her throat suddenly thick.
Next time she sees him she'll be walking toward him and a priest, promising till death do them part.
This might be more nerve-wracking to someone that hasn't already made such a promise, if only to herself.
"See you on the other side?" she asks with a wobbly smile, squeezing his hand lightly, once.
Reply
Who could live in the present when they are changed so painfully to the past? Rachel taught him how. She lead by example. She believed in him. She loved him, and he found that there must be something to believe in, something worth loving within himself if she found those things within him. Rachel made every moment that he was with her a joy.
Never with anyone else has he wanted to spend so much time with. He never felt like he saw her enough at the start with the days in between the times they ran into one another then. He had met her once or twice before he went away to look for a cure, and he thought about her far too many times for someone who should have been merely a stranger to him.
Robin does not know why it all worked out the way that it did. He will never understand it but he will never stop being grateful that it has worked out this way. There are so many moments where so much could have shifted in another way entirely. She could have been lost to the hotel destruction. He could have succeeded with killing himself on the many occasions where he stood on one edge or another. They could have never gotten back together, the first or the second time.
They suffered and wept. They felt so much pain to get to this point, but it wasn't only that. There was so much love and hope and happiness felt as well. If it had only been the negative, they never would have made it here. Their relationship would not have survived.
There has always been more, and in the darkest times when he was alone, he remembered that and it often gave him strength.
No one else will ever know what it is like to love Rachel the way that he does, and no one else will ever know what it is like to be loved by Rachel in the manner in which she loves him. This is theirs entirely, his entirely. No one can take it from him.
Death will come. One day, they will die but the fact that this love was theirs and theirs alone... that will always remain true. The truth will survive while the two of them die.
Robin smiles against her thumb and swallows thickly. There are plenty of emotions for them both but it's understandable considering all they have been through. He pulls her hand down gently, wrapping it in his, and leans in to kiss her again.
Reply
A church is only one more building with stone and glass and wood. Nothing to be drawn in by.
Now he understands. Now he knows exactly how a building can be more than stone and glass and wood. It can have meaning beyond those materials that make it up. The meaning is made by what happens inside and by the people who enter and exit through the doors.
He is excited and emotional but at such peace too. This feels right, and he can't quite get over how right it feels when so much in his life has been wrong, has felt disjointed and out of place and bad. This is good and right, and he even likes the damned priest and thinks the choirboy is adorable.
Honestly, he looks like he did as a child, not exactly but there's the blond hair, the hesitant upward glance. This child has more freckles. His face is cleaner, and there aren't any bruises but it's... strange. It's reminding him of being that small boy, and for once, it's not painful so much as it feels like he's coming full circle, becoming more whole than even that little boy knew how to feel.
Robin turns to look at her, and he leans in to kiss her one last time. His hands remain against her face and he pulls back, sending her a rather emotional smile of his own. "See you then, Rachel Dawes," he says with such fondness and love in the saying of her name. Her name. His chest clenches with happiness, and he releases her hand almost reluctantly.
When she returns, the main portion of the church will have hundreds of candles let. There aren't flowers, only that fire. Robin's suit will have been straightened, and he will be standing at the end of the row, turning toward her when the priest prompts him to, waiting anxiously for what will be the best and happiest moment of his life.
Reply
She doesn't know if she'll ever see this church again, and get to say, this is where I was married. It might be this one time and she wants to make it count. It meant something to Robin long before they met. For whatever reason, he stopped on his way to wherever he was going, and it made enough of an impression he's remembered it years later.
Rachel wants to remember it for however long it is she has to remember.
The same way she's remembered absolutely everything they've ever shared together. Every date, every dance, every mistake, every demand. Every time they laughed and cried and made love and everything in between.
She rests her forehead against his for a moment, smile widening when he says her full name. It's more the way he says it than anything else. It's knowing this is just as important to him as it is to her. It's knowing she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, knowing the same feeling that made her kiss him back that first time is the same feeling that's lasted and grown immeasurably to what it is now. Knowing the battles they fought and the ones they lost and the hurt they endured led them to something like this.
It's with reluctance she releases his hand, too.
Rachel gives one last look, one last familiar smile, and then she's led to the bridal room. It's small, the way the church is small, and it's beautiful like the rest of it. She doesn't think she's ever been somewhere that's so old and beautiful at the same time. She stands in the very center of the room, appraising the whole of it, hand gripping the edge of the bag with her dress.
The dress is not extravagant, and it's still the most beautiful dress she's owned. It seems fitting she'll only wear it once and why. Because it's simple and unlike the big, poofy gowns brides often wear, she doesn't need help slipping it on. It slides down her body easily and the small trail at the back rustles on the floor.
As she promised the woman at the store, she takes off the pins keeping her dark hair in a swept-up style and lets it fall down to her shoulders.
The only piece of jewelry she's wearing is the heart necklace Robin gave her for her birthday. Her fingers linger over the surface, tracing its shape before her hand drops back down to her side. "This is it," she says to no one in particular, gaze lingering on her reflection in the mirror.
No one in particular, except maybe her mother. She thinks of Bruce and she thinks of Alfred, of her friends in Chicago, but she speaks to her mother alone. Rachel herself isn't much for religion and the practice of it. She went to a Catholic school, strangely enough, because her mother was a believer, but Rachel claimed she was too practical for it. Her faith wasn't placed in a God, catholic or otherwise. Her faith was stored in people and the world they shaped.
Now she can't be sure after all she has witnessed (not to mention the plagues she survived) and either way, it doesn't matter.
Rachel believes somehow, from somewhere, some place mothers and daughters meet beyond a world that doesn't contain them both--her mother is listening.
"I really love him." She wipes at the corner of her eyes and smiles tearfully at the reflection. "You'd have liked him, too."
Reply
The choirboy lifts up the small bouquet they've procured from her (from an earlier ceremony) with reddened cheeks while Rachel simultaneously leans down to pick it up. "Merci," she whispers with a deepened smile, wide enough to almost show a dimple on her left cheek.
Rachel runs a knuckle down the side of his face and his cheeks only seem to get redder. Then he's racing down the aisle to announce Rachel is ready. It isn't until he gives her the thumbs up that she appears.
Rachel, you're the most important person to me. It's you. It always will be. You deserve to be loved and to love. I've seen you, and I love all of it when you're crying, when you're making those tough decisions, when you're laughing, when you've fallen asleep.
You gave me Paris, and you gave me a home here, when I thought I'd never have one again after Gotham. You found me that day and you took me to that hotel and I've loved you for what feels like a very long time now. I'm always going to love you. Years from now, wherever we end up, that's still going to be true.
No, no one is ever going to truly know how much one loves the other and vice-versa.
Hi, Rachel mouths at him, that same deep smile she's held from the moment she existed the room. The walk down the aisle seems endless and not long enough.
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore - is not by any - to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly - but reverently..."
Reply
He remembers how it all happened with her, and he remembers the words that they have shared with one another. There have been times where those words are all that has seen him through. While he did find hope on his own eventually, there were dark places that he visited. He remembered what she had said to him before. He remembered what he'd said to her and what it felt like to say those things, and it carried him through.
There is no doubt in his mind that this will be the strongest memory of them all. It is a culmination of all that they have been through and all that they are. Throughout this entire trip, they have been reliving it either out loud or in their own heads. They have gone over the bad and the good time and time again.
It all comes together here.
Robin can feel that in his chest as he stands waiting for her. She walked away from him, and he felt a flood of that knowing... of knowing that the next time that he sees her, she will become his wife. His wife. And he will be her husband.
They will wear rings that symbolize the fact that they are each others, that they plan to be with one another 'til death do they part', through sickness and all the rest. They did not need the ring or ceremony to do that. These were promises that they had already made to each other and would already see through if the idea of marriage had never even come up in their heads. They are not getting married because they need to but because they want to.
It feels right and good for the entire world to know how he feels about her and how long he is planning on being with her (til death). It is the little things like that band on his finger that will remind him as her words have and as his memories with her have of what they fight for, of what he has. It will be one more weapon to use against the battle with that inner monster of his. It is theirs and it is more than that. It is so many things, and there will never be words enough to describe what all it means that he can stand with her and marry her.
It means so much to him, and he turns when the priest prompts him to.
He turns to look at her when she steps out into the main room. His breath is taken violently from him. Words and thoughts and memories leave him quick, and it is a wonder that he manages to remain standing. The sight of her in that classic, white gown is enough to make him weak in the knees and breathless.
His gaze is only for her as it has been so many other times, but this time is different. This time there is that extra intensity to it all, and he takes in the sight of her, drinks it all in, and then notices every part, every detail of how she looks in this moment. The dress, her hair, the way she moves toward him but more than that... so much more than that, her expression. Robin memorizes the way that her face looks as she walks toward him.
He will never forget it, and he is still trying to catch his breath when she stops next to him. Robin can't quite manage to mouth a single word. He has not found the words since she stole the breath from him by walking out in that dress looking absolutely beautiful in the candlelight.
The priest's words fade into the background. The man seems to recognize that this is a private moment between the two of them, which is why he does not say much. He says the basics. He reiterates the meaning of marriage. It is not to be entered lightly but reverently, joining two people together in something that's sacred.
He says his part as simply and unobtrusively as he can and then he nods, urges them to take their vows.
Robin goes first, and there's that half second where he wishes that they had planned out the wedding. He wants what he's going to say to be perfect but then the words come and they come easily even if they are not technically perfect in any sense. It's natural and true and right as everything between them has been.
Reply
He reaches for her. He does not know if it is custom in marriage or if it is allowed at this point but his hand finds her and he holds it close to his chest. His thumb slides down the top of her hand. Her hands are warm and smooth beneath his own. Robin knows each of the lines of her hand. He knows the subtle difference between what it feels like to hold her hand when she is stressed or when she is at peace or when she needs him.
There's that moment where it occurs to him again. This beautiful, demanding, strong, intelligent, and brave woman needs him and she loves him too. She knows nearly everything that there is to know about him, and she stands across from him wanting to marry him until death do they part. If nothing else in his life could make him feel like he was worth something, this much alone could make him feel like he was worth so much.
One more unstable, shaky breath taken in through the heavy wall of emotion that has slammed down upon him.
He tightens his hold on her hand, aware of what the burning in his eyes means and not caring that it is there. They have always been able to be bare and vulnerable with one another. This moment should be no different. His eyes are bright but he makes no effort to hold back the tears or to push back that wall of emotion.
"Rachel," he breathes, and her name alone is like a prayer of its own in this sacred place. One that is joyous and complete and strong. It's more praise than prayer in its nature. "From the moment that I met you, I felt this connection to you. It wasn't until the second time that I recognized it as a connection, stronger than anything I had felt before, and I was terrified of it. But again, from the very moment that I met you, that terror did not determine how I acted. It did not send me hiding from you permanently. Before I really ever even knew you, you gave me strength and more than that, you gave me the ability to find strength within myself by the example that you led, by believing in me and showing that you did believe in me."
Memory after memory slides through his mind. The words come easily though he stumbles on the emotion and gets caught up in it as he tries to say it all as well as he can.
"Some people will describe love as making them feel weak. For so long, I believed that love could only be a weakness especially for someone like me." Robin hesitates, breath catching on something painful and wonderful, throat tightening. He does not take his gaze from her, not once but his hold on her hand tightens. "Loving you has never been weak. The love that I feel for you and have felt for over a year, Rachel, it has always made me stronger and better. I am at my absolute best when I am with you. All of the ways that I have changed along the way, I never would have changed if not for you, and every change has been for the better. You have inspired me. You have built me up. You have given so much of yourself to me, and it has all been a gift and a blessing, and I hardly believed in such things before I met me. You have stood in the face of such destruction and pain, and you never held me up with your own hands but you gave me the ability and the realization that I could stand on my own with you. Despite what everyone else says about love, I believe that is so much more important. You have given me... so much, and I would never be able to list it all. I would never be able to say everything that I feel and all that you have done for me, and it doesn't matter how many words I say because they could never be enough to... to say it all."
He swallows thickly again. The tears slip down his face freely, and he makes no effort to clear them away. He is bare and vulnerable with her. It is as they had hoped it would be. Robin is unaware of the priest or the choirboy. 'God' is the furthest thing from his mind. It's Rachel. It's only him with her.
Reply
Leave a comment