(no subject)
I'm in the shittiest of moods today. Went shopping with my mom and sister, which wouldn't have been so bad, but my sister was, as usual, searching for my mom to buy her everything and my mom's always in a bad mood, so there's not much to be said there. Came home, and I talked to Joe, and that was the one redeeming factor of my day. But then we hung up, and things got shitty again. Me and my mom just constantly fight. Its always about nothing too. So then when I talked to him again I was hoping that he would just be like, yeah come over, but then all of a sudden he drops this bomb on me that he doesn't feel good so he's not sure if i should sleep over tonight. It would've been helpful if he'd have brought that up before he got my hopes up of getting out of this house. Its not his fault, i realize this, but it just dragged me down even farther than I was this morning. So then when I hung up with him, I got in a very big fight with my dad over the fucking remote. Yeah, a remote. So since then I've been hiding in my room by myself. I should just make myself useful and clean while i'm in here. Then the day wouldn't be a complete bust. I've been on the brink of tears since the fight with my dad. I cried, but since then I've just been sooooo depressed that I'm just about to cry over everything. I really want to talk to Joe, but he went to sleep so I can't call him. I really want to move out of my house. I just don't know where I would go. I would ask Joe, but there's too many people at his house as it is. I would just be an annoyance, ya know? So I guess I just have to sit this out until we have somewhere to live or something. I just wish that I didn't get so fucking depressed every time I have to be at my house. If I'm alone, I can usually handle it, but if my parents are here, I get depressed. I don't know how much longer I can handle this. The only thing that makes me happy anymore is Joe, and I can't even see him very much anymore. I can only go down there if genevieve is working late, or if i'm lucky, I can take the car one night of the week. It wouldn't be so bad if I had my own car either. But of course, before I can have a car, Genevieve gets a second one. She's so spoiled. And she knows it too. She's such a bitch now. She used to not be so bad, she used to be tolerable. But ever since we moved into this house, she turned into Satan. I feel like such a whiner right now. I better stop.