i think the most
depressing thing about the internet, is seeing how much there is going on in the world that is evil, and feeling powerless to stop it. global warming, slaughter, people starving and dying every day.
I work at Peet's coffee and tea, and I am part of the problem. We waste so much. We do it because Peet's pays us to, and I don't blame anyone that works there for what they do and how they go about doing it. :/ Everything feels wrong in the world. After working so hard for something that made a difference to individual people, and being appreciated for it, working my ass off for people that are going to bitch when their cappuccino isn't DRY enough, and speak down to me, are a joke. I hate my fellow man, and it's due to pettiness. Does that make me petty? I don't know. I keep telling myself it's just coffee, but deep down inside I don't feel that way. I guess I'm sensitive. I'm a bitchy person, I talk a lot of shit. I'm not always nice. Most of the time I'm blunt and brutish, even in the way I speak to people. We're the baby sitters of Telegraph Avenue. If I could ban, every street person, barring a few who actually act like PEOPLE, I would. In a heart beat. I don't think of them as people, and that's depressing.
I'm thinking way too hard about everything. I forget that I should focus on being able to pay off my debts and building my credit and setting up a stable foundation for a life, instead of worrying about the entire world. Somehow it holds itself together every day. I can understand why people want the net around them to be God, it makes them feel safer. I think that I prefer knowing that the net around me is the world itself, and it's easy to get tangled up in it. Just as quickly as you can get fucked, the world could get fucked and just explode from nuclear war or us depleting our resources and just sucking it dry.
That's fucking heavy, and it's depressing, but there's so much beauty left it in, it's hard to feel like everything is going to explode no matter what I do. Hope is an amazing thing.
I'm done waxing philosophical. I feel better now though.
Sry if you actually read through the whole thing, but like I said when I started writing here, this is totally for me.
I work at Peet's coffee and tea, and I am part of the problem. We waste so much. We do it because Peet's pays us to, and I don't blame anyone that works there for what they do and how they go about doing it. :/ Everything feels wrong in the world. After working so hard for something that made a difference to individual people, and being appreciated for it, working my ass off for people that are going to bitch when their cappuccino isn't DRY enough, and speak down to me, are a joke. I hate my fellow man, and it's due to pettiness. Does that make me petty? I don't know. I keep telling myself it's just coffee, but deep down inside I don't feel that way. I guess I'm sensitive. I'm a bitchy person, I talk a lot of shit. I'm not always nice. Most of the time I'm blunt and brutish, even in the way I speak to people. We're the baby sitters of Telegraph Avenue. If I could ban, every street person, barring a few who actually act like PEOPLE, I would. In a heart beat. I don't think of them as people, and that's depressing.
I'm thinking way too hard about everything. I forget that I should focus on being able to pay off my debts and building my credit and setting up a stable foundation for a life, instead of worrying about the entire world. Somehow it holds itself together every day. I can understand why people want the net around them to be God, it makes them feel safer. I think that I prefer knowing that the net around me is the world itself, and it's easy to get tangled up in it. Just as quickly as you can get fucked, the world could get fucked and just explode from nuclear war or us depleting our resources and just sucking it dry.
That's fucking heavy, and it's depressing, but there's so much beauty left it in, it's hard to feel like everything is going to explode no matter what I do. Hope is an amazing thing.
I'm done waxing philosophical. I feel better now though.
Sry if you actually read through the whole thing, but like I said when I started writing here, this is totally for me.