Ahem.

[p_dursley]

Hello. My name is Petunia Dursley. I live in a wonderful home in Surrey with my charming husband Vernon, who works for a company that makes drills, and my precious son Dudley, who is currently attending Smeltings School. Very prestigious, you know. We are proud, upstanding citizens, and do not abide any nonsense, such as... certain types may take up with.

However, as long as you are the right sort, I'm sure we should get along swimmingly.