HELP HOLY HELL HELP!!

[cannon_fanatic]

*runs in on the verge of tears*

SHIT HELP! MAJOR TRAUMA OVER HERE! HELP HELP HELP! Hermione's really hurt, really hurt! Please, for the love of Merlin, SOMEBODY HELP US!

EDIT: FUCK DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHAT HELP MEANS!? *cries hysterically* DEAD! They're DEAD!