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defyaugery January 19 2007, 02:39:46 UTC
Treating others with the consideration they deserve simply for being a human -- or something like it, anyway -- with thoughts and emotions and a history of their own. One needn't go out of their way for someone they dislike, of course, but they ought to avoid being outright rude or unkind It doesn't mean anyone needs to be falsely pleasant, but they should be respectful as much as possible, and try to understand the other when they can. And with people one does like . . . well. That's simple enough . You do whatever you can for them. With strangers, it is respect and a willingness to be friendly.

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sweariwontdie January 19 2007, 02:43:45 UTC
Oh wonderful! *smiles*

how specifically should one treat those one dislikes?

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defyaugery January 19 2007, 03:40:23 UTC
It is best to refrain from making deliberately hurtful comments, and avoid disrespectful language. If you dislike someone, it isn't a license to be unkind to them, and wasting the time and energy to do so when it doesn't do anyone any good is ridiculous -- it is better to be civil to them, or to avoid them altogether. It can be very difficult to treat them kindly, of course, but I've found it helps to think of why other people might like them, even if you don't. A man who is difficult for one person to be around might be a wonderful father or brother or friend to someone else. So even if you can't like them personally, you can understand and acknowledge that they have value in the world, and they have a right to exist and be happy as well.

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sweariwontdie January 19 2007, 12:55:52 UTC
I will keep all that in mind. You are very wise, monsieur.

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defyaugery January 19 2007, 20:22:26 UTC
*shrugs* I have simply had a great deal of experience dealing with someone most people do not like much.

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sweariwontdie January 21 2007, 03:11:51 UTC
I'm getting terribly frustrated myself. Mostly because I am not a good teacher.

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defyaugery January 21 2007, 10:00:10 UTC
No? You're a very nice young man. A good example, I'd say.

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sweariwontdie January 21 2007, 13:54:05 UTC
It's hard to think that with my mistakes so glaringly obvious.

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defyaugery January 25 2007, 23:34:40 UTC
Everyone makes mistakes. Often dreadful ones. It does not make them any less.

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sweariwontdie January 25 2007, 23:40:35 UTC
Mine... usually find a way to change my life, and others.

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defyaugery January 26 2007, 08:00:06 UTC
Life-changing mistakes, unfortunately, don't look much different from any other mistakes when they're being made. There is simply no way to know.

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sweariwontdie January 26 2007, 11:39:00 UTC
I truly wish to help, and I have no idea how to do that now. And I need help myself. It's... intimidating.

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defyaugery January 29 2007, 18:07:51 UTC
Do what you can. But in the end, you are responsible only for yourself -- don't take it too hard if you aren't successful with him. It is very difficult for a person to change, and he will have to put in a great deal of effort to make it happen.

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sweariwontdie February 13 2007, 12:36:17 UTC
Thank you for your advice.

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mostgiftedwitch January 19 2007, 13:21:07 UTC
Entirely by accident, she overhears this answer and for some reason... it hits home. Wise words, indeed. She'll try to remember this for herself...

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