'Cause women can be cruel . . .

[desperadonate]

Apparently getting the courage to talk to women and the inginuity to come up with a fun, original idea is only half the battle, if that. The other half is actually getting the girl to show up after she's already agreed to the fun, original idea. Sure, it happens to every one - the phone call 5 minutes before saying "I can't make it, I have to do

Comments

[desperadonate]

You're right, my life could be worse, and right now you probably do have it rougher than I do. Then again, so could your's. You could be litterally homeless, unemployed, termilanlly ill, or a in host of other unfortunate circumstances. Was I caught up in the little things and wallowing in a sty of self pity? Absolutely, but so are you.

I'm not trying to minimise what you're going through, because even though you probably don't believe me I know alot more about what you're going through than you think. I deal with depression and anxiety every day of my life. I struggle to get out of bed, I lose help. Hell, there have been days where I have been too depressed to even set my foot on the floor so I spend the entire day in bed. No, Ive not gone through every thing that you're going through, but I've been through enough to say that I can empathise and that I know how it feels.

I this is a real hard time for you, but you should look at the things you do have. You've got a good family, and you've got friends who care about you and want to help you out.

This too shall pass, and with a little luck and a little help it can be easier, and hopefully quicker.

The first thing you have to do is realize that while this is a difficult time, it's not the end of the world. The next thing is to focus on what you CAN do to make things better.

There are alot of people who are willing to help you out, but you have to be the one who stops feeling sorry for yourself long enough to work out your feelings more constructively and long enough to allow other people to help you with the burden you're carrying.

I'm willing to do anything that you need me to do, but have to let me know what you need.

Help me help you.

[gianttoe]

Thank you for the sentiment, but I don't believe I actually said I was having a problem. All I noted was how things could be and how much harder that would be. I'm not wallowing in any kind of sty of self pitty. I'm not pittying myself or wanting others to pitty me. I don't post on a live journal for such a reason. When I do post, I make things cryptic enough for no one to understand, but ventful enough to get things off my chest. I don't want people to sit back and look at me and think, "Steven needs help...How can I help him?" I'd rather have people look at me and say, "Yeah, he's going to be alright. Even all this weight won't keep him down." And the weight won't keep me down. Sure, times are tough, but they've been tougher. I've gone through much worse than I am in right now and I know I will get through. Sure, there will be times when I'm grouchy or anxious to the point of an attack, but I've gone through worse and I'll be fine. We have dry spells in our lives and I'm in one right now, but I'm not here for long. As the days go by, I'm finding more ingenious ways of getting the water I need to survive.

Main point is? This is not the worse part of my life. I've been through worse and I'll go through worse. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I see the silver lining; I see the oasis. I don't need people to pitty me or rush to my side. I've stood alone my entire life; why should I change that now? Why does this minor bruise on my arm need a doctor's care when I've been torn to shreds and walked away?

One of the problems with speaking in a manner such that I did with you is that people always assume that because I said it, it means I feel it. I've said a lot of things in my time I haven't ment. I could've easily have said, "At least you're not dying over and over again every moment you crawl through life on burning coals." Would I mean that's how I feel? Not neccisarily. What that means is that I can envision a worse situation than the one that you're in. Unless I explicitly say, "At least your life isn't like mine in that..." you shouldn't assume that's what I meant. It's a live journal, don't try to read more into it than you need to. Just because I can write a story about murder doesn't mean I am a murderer. In the same way, just because I can envision a life that's worse than yours doesn't mean I have it.

Your problems seemingly far outweigh mine, and that's ok. I am not trying to compete with you about who has the worst life. I'm just saying, shit happens, it could be worse.

[desperadonate]

. .. okay, so now I feel a little foolish. I guess the way my mind works is just a little . . .different, and I sometimes percieve things differently and get mixed up easily. However, you didn't say "At least you're not dying over and over again every moment you crawl through life on burning coals.", you said stuff that, if you go back and look at it, could be constrewed as personal stuff (sleeping on the couch, people who control what you want to do, ect). This coupled with the fact that you have been rather depressed the past few days made me think that you were really upset about something.

Anyhow, even though I may have misinterpreted what you said, I ment what I said in my response. Take it as a pre-emptive pep talk should you need it ;p

Just do me a favor next time and spell things out a little more clearly, since I have this tendency to get mixed up. It really bothers me when I do things like this because it shows my dissabilities and makes me feel really self concious and embarassed . . .so . . .yeah . ..

[gianttoe]

Well, I suppose that's why you should make comments about my life more private than public... The more public you make it, the more embarassed you would be if you misinterpreted.