(no subject)
I'm posting this here because not all of you are online right now & I don't think it's fair for me to say this to only one person, make one person deal with this, or risk it being lost in translation.
So I'm putting it here, so you all have it, in writing.
I don't know what happened, I really don't. I've known you guys between 3 & 7 years & now I haven't seen any of you in at least a month. What happened, what changed?
I don't know what else to try.
I don't want you guys to think I'm being dramatic, or that I'm blowing this out of proportion. I've been lying to myself, ignoring the possible truth & holding on to false hope. I've been keeping myself in this limbo between an ignorant, safe bliss and a scary realization.
If our friendship is over, that's fine, I'll deal with it, but I want to know why. I think I at least deserve to know what's happening.
It might be easy for you guys to "move on" since you have each other, but I don't have anyone. It's been so hard for me to know that you all still hang out, you all know what's going on in each other's lives. Your guys' new group is OUR highschool group, minus me.
Did I do something? I miss having you guys in my life. Why did everything have to change & why did it have to change so quickly?
I still live 5 minutes away from all of you, I'm still here. Why does it feel like I don't matter anywhere?
Please take this seriously, because believe it or not, it took me a lot of courage to put this up here. You have no idea how scared I am about how you'll all react to this, whether it be with anger or indifference.
I don't want pity or fake sympathy, just honesty.
I just need to know what happened, what's happening now & what's gonna happen with us...
Do I still matter to any of you, do I still exist to any of you?
Please, I'm literally begging you, let me know.
So I'm putting it here, so you all have it, in writing.
I don't know what happened, I really don't. I've known you guys between 3 & 7 years & now I haven't seen any of you in at least a month. What happened, what changed?
I don't know what else to try.
I don't want you guys to think I'm being dramatic, or that I'm blowing this out of proportion. I've been lying to myself, ignoring the possible truth & holding on to false hope. I've been keeping myself in this limbo between an ignorant, safe bliss and a scary realization.
If our friendship is over, that's fine, I'll deal with it, but I want to know why. I think I at least deserve to know what's happening.
It might be easy for you guys to "move on" since you have each other, but I don't have anyone. It's been so hard for me to know that you all still hang out, you all know what's going on in each other's lives. Your guys' new group is OUR highschool group, minus me.
Did I do something? I miss having you guys in my life. Why did everything have to change & why did it have to change so quickly?
I still live 5 minutes away from all of you, I'm still here. Why does it feel like I don't matter anywhere?
Please take this seriously, because believe it or not, it took me a lot of courage to put this up here. You have no idea how scared I am about how you'll all react to this, whether it be with anger or indifference.
I don't want pity or fake sympathy, just honesty.
I just need to know what happened, what's happening now & what's gonna happen with us...
Do I still matter to any of you, do I still exist to any of you?
Please, I'm literally begging you, let me know.