Number 4
I FINALLY GOT MY 4TH BLUE-MAT PASSED!!!!
1 MORE AND I'M IN THE RING AS A FUCKING WRESTLER, AND NO MORE OF THIS REFEREE BULLSHIT!!!!
I was surprised we passed. I thought me and Steve fucked it up.
I guess not.
They all liked the match, they were just a little confused at some chain-wrestling I threw into the middle of the match.
I can see how they would say that it didn't make much sense.
But, that's me for ya.
I recieved the ring that I gave to Liz this morning.
Real fuckin' nice to wake up to the last symbol of anything between me and the mother of my child being thrown back in my face.
But, that's life.
Kennedy was right.
Sometimes, growing up means sacrificing your emotions.
But, I don't care anymore.
I'm not the mental wreck I used to be.
And, I'm not going back to that way.
Ever.
All that matters is my child.
And, from what people are saying, I don't have much chance at that either.
A couple of people told me a few things they heard.
And, if they're true, I'm goin' ape-shit.
Because, my name will be on my child's birth certificate, and I will be a fuckin' father.
Whether anybody likes it or not.
Jac wants me to go out and hang out with this girl he's been talking to for the past couple of days.
He wants to play the 'tag team' game.
I don't know if I'm really up for that.
But, if it helps Jac out, we'll see what happens.
I keep trying to work up the balls to ask Erica out on a date.
But, I don't think she'd be interested in someone like me.
Not because I have a child on the way.
But, because, I've never seen myself as attractive.
And, she's a really cute girl.
I'm just afraid of ending up the same way.
Maybe, it's better if I just say fuck it.
She's outta my league.
But, what if she IS interested?
Do I take that chance?
Or, do I just stand by and let another chance slip by, like I have before?
GODDAMNIT!!
I'm doing it again.
My curiousity always gets the best of me.
Curiouslity turns into want.
Want turns into need.
Need turns into such a strong attatchment that I can't break.
And, my heart always ends up being what's broken in the process.
All because, I let my curiousity get the best of me.
I'm sick and tired of being the bad guy.
Just because I have different feelings than everyone else.
I'm not a victim, and I've never claimed to be.
I'm just sick of feeling like this.
I'm doing what I can.
I'm gonna try to get a hold of a few people that I haven't seen in a while.
But, we'll see what happens.
I'm outta here.
Ultraviolence.
1 MORE AND I'M IN THE RING AS A FUCKING WRESTLER, AND NO MORE OF THIS REFEREE BULLSHIT!!!!
I was surprised we passed. I thought me and Steve fucked it up.
I guess not.
They all liked the match, they were just a little confused at some chain-wrestling I threw into the middle of the match.
I can see how they would say that it didn't make much sense.
But, that's me for ya.
I recieved the ring that I gave to Liz this morning.
Real fuckin' nice to wake up to the last symbol of anything between me and the mother of my child being thrown back in my face.
But, that's life.
Kennedy was right.
Sometimes, growing up means sacrificing your emotions.
But, I don't care anymore.
I'm not the mental wreck I used to be.
And, I'm not going back to that way.
Ever.
All that matters is my child.
And, from what people are saying, I don't have much chance at that either.
A couple of people told me a few things they heard.
And, if they're true, I'm goin' ape-shit.
Because, my name will be on my child's birth certificate, and I will be a fuckin' father.
Whether anybody likes it or not.
Jac wants me to go out and hang out with this girl he's been talking to for the past couple of days.
He wants to play the 'tag team' game.
I don't know if I'm really up for that.
But, if it helps Jac out, we'll see what happens.
I keep trying to work up the balls to ask Erica out on a date.
But, I don't think she'd be interested in someone like me.
Not because I have a child on the way.
But, because, I've never seen myself as attractive.
And, she's a really cute girl.
I'm just afraid of ending up the same way.
Maybe, it's better if I just say fuck it.
She's outta my league.
But, what if she IS interested?
Do I take that chance?
Or, do I just stand by and let another chance slip by, like I have before?
GODDAMNIT!!
I'm doing it again.
My curiousity always gets the best of me.
Curiouslity turns into want.
Want turns into need.
Need turns into such a strong attatchment that I can't break.
And, my heart always ends up being what's broken in the process.
All because, I let my curiousity get the best of me.
I'm sick and tired of being the bad guy.
Just because I have different feelings than everyone else.
I'm not a victim, and I've never claimed to be.
I'm just sick of feeling like this.
I'm doing what I can.
I'm gonna try to get a hold of a few people that I haven't seen in a while.
But, we'll see what happens.
I'm outta here.
Ultraviolence.