The truth will out
I don't know what it is with me and the opposite sex. I see something I like and I like it, but then it grows and develops into something more than a like.
Its not a lust, maybe it is a lust although I associate lust with more of a physical or sexual relation.
but it's not lust.
It's something that I see in this person or in my case persons. I mean its usually someone that I would have a slim to none chance of being with (surprise surprise) or atleast i don't think they're interested in me like that. I mean, its weird because its not like its with every male i know.
Like me and rich are always hugging and touching eachother but I don't feel anything for rich like I don't go home and dream about him.
But there's something about tre. I honestly don't know what it is. Sometimes this kid is the most foul (funny but foul), raunchy, sometimes rude, vulgar and the most douche baggiest person ever. But he's sweet. he seems to have a soul maybe even a heart. he makes me laugh. when he does something that really hurts me (which he's only really done once) there's genuine regret and he feels sorry and he's mad that i'm mad. There's just something about him. I get this jolt through my body when i see him and when he's on my IM.
I've been in love and I wish that I could say that it was love but its not. It's that in between that there's no word for so people just assume that its love.
But I really like him. I really do. He makes me smile and he makes everything better in a sense.
Then there's lloyd who I never see anymore but when i see him, I remember why I like him so much. he's so handsome first of all. lol and he's so full of life and enegry, he lights up a room the moment he enters, not to mention my life and possibly my heart.
i was having, in my head, the worst day on wed.
I had an exam on thurs. that i hadnt gotten a chance to study for, i hadnt even finished the study guide, i worked til close and I knew that i wasnt going to stay up to study althought that was the big plan.
7:25 lloyd waltzs in. My heart skipped a beat and then stop. I couldnt believe my eyes. Oh he was so beautiful.
I ran to him and slammed into a hug. I have never ran to anyone that wasnt aj. not that I can remember. I don't think i've ever even ran to a guy. But i ran to him and to me that means something. He had come to watch a movie at 730.
Everything that was wrong and that had been bothering me completely disappeared for a good 10 minutes.
Even after I could hardly remember what day it was. He literally made my day and I wish that he could make my day everyday.
I think that my problem is this:
There are so many great guys out there and its a shame that, atleast for a time being, you can only choose one.