quarter life crisis
a friend of mine sent me this article. i thought it was funny AND accurate... hehe thought i'd post it here. sorry, don't know how to cut to something, so you'll have to scroll if you don't wanna read it hehe :-)
THE QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS
Author(s): Meredith Goldstein, Globe Staff Date: September 8, 2004
Page: D1 Section: Living
Some were unemployed. Most were underemployed. All felt incomplete.
They were a group of friends who were all just about 25. After college they
had moved to Boston, the closest city to their respective universities, and
were now experiencing what some have dubbed a quarter-life crisis. So this
past spring, they had a party. The invitation read:
"Are you between the ages of 22 and 29? Are you directionless, apathetic, or
dissatisfied with your job? Do you even HAVE a job? Have you been in a state
of `limbo' since you graduated college while you start from scratch building
a career and a life? If you have answered `yes' to one or more of the
preceding questions, you just might be dead inside."
About 40 of them gathered in Somerville. They made it a costume party, and
guests worked out their quarter-life angst by dressing as what they hoped
they'd be by their mid-20s - working professionals, artists, poets, and
musicians.
A few guests dared to show up as themselves, claiming to be satisfied with
life at 25.
"I almost kicked them out of the house," said 25-year-old Alexandra Checka,
one of the party's hosts.
The concept of experiencing angst in one's 20s is nothing new. It has been
explored in movies spanning generations, from "The Graduate" to "Reality
Bites" and the recently released "Garden State." Musician John Mayer, 26,
who spent some pre-crisis years in Boston, sang about it. He crooned about
what "might be a quarter-life crisis or just the stirring in my soul" and
asked, "Am I living it right?" in his song "Why Georgia."
But there is a new movement afoot of professionals studying today's
20-somethings. They maintain that there's a phase of life - quarter-life -
which, like adolescence and midlife, has its own set of challenges and
characteristics. People get married later and have more transient careers
than before. They are in debt longer, sometimes in school longer. The early
to late 20s represents a time of extreme instability, according to the
experts.
"The way I look at it is a transition to adulthood," said Abby Wilner, a
28-year-old who is working on a second book about her peers. "It's taking
longer than ever today because of college loans, debt, competition for jobs,
more and more people living at home with their parents, and people taking
longer than ever to get married. This phase, this transition, is becoming a
more tumultuous process."
In 2001, Wilner turned the new concept of this life phase into a nonfiction
guide for those out of school. The book, "Quarterlife Crisis: the Unique
Challenges of Life in Your Twenties" (written with Alexandra Robbins)
quickly became a best-selling explanation of post-college angst.
Twenty-somethings responded so enthusiastically to the quarter-life concept
that Wilner created a website with message boards and information to set up
regional support groups. People visit www.quarterlifecrisis.com throughout
the day disclosing their fears, questions, excitement, and misery. She now
has about 10,000 registered users with 1.5 million hits per month. Postings
and emails come from all over the United States as well as Australia and the
Philippines.
She said she aims for the organization to eventually serve as "the AARP for
people in their 20s."
The posts on Wilner's website tell a story of a purgatory experienced after
college, before adulthood. Members write to one another about everything
from their cars to their spouses. They talk about whether antidepressants
will help. They wonder where their friends went. They can't decide what to
do next.
Most, but not all, share a sense of humor about the confusion.
One quarter-lifer recently posted his dilemma on the site: " . . . basically
been Quarter-Life Crisis-ing it for over a year now . . . graduated school,
fell into corporate hole of boredom, watched bottom fall out of corporate
hole of boredom during prime job market downturn, felt as though the world
was full of opportunity, moved around a lot in search of happiness, lost a
relationship, fell into deep depression, fought said depression . . .
grappled daily with concept of happiness, success, and value of venture and
pursuits, and now am here before you hoping that somehow writing this all
down will precipitate a solution."
A lighter post read, "Last night, while playing the literary version of
Trivial Pursuit, I started crying because I couldn't remember the names of
the authors/book titles, etc. Everyone thought I was insane and I ended up
leaving the party to go home and cry some more because I am stupid. . . . I
was an English major and I got beat at literary Trivial Pursuit."
Wilner planned to host a quarter-life crisis convention last month in her
hometown of Washington D.C., but it was canceled. The quarter-lifers
couldn't commit to the date and the cost.
"Not surprising," Wilner said, laughing.
Quarter-lifers around Boston say they believe the crisis concept is
legitimate.
In explaining the feeling, Checka cited that rare perfect day of weather one
experiences in Boston. "You can do anything. You can go to a museum or a
sports game, but you know there's not going to be another nice Saturday for
the rest of the year. What do you do? Do you do everything? Do you do one
thing? Are you going to be sitting in a museum thinking, `I'm missing the
day?' " said Checka, who added that with the help of a new job, she's
recently been able to escape her crisis.
Christa Bosch, 26, a Smith College graduate who attended the Somerville
quarter-life party, believes she entered a second phase of her quarter-life
crisis when she decided to go to law school. She has her own take on what
the concept means. "It's like a film of anxiety over everything that I'm
doing," she said.
Jeffrey Arnett, a University of Maryland psychology professor, has created a
field of study surrounding this phase of life, which he calls "emerging
adulthood." Last month, he released a book called "Emerging Adulthood: The
Winding Road From the Late Teens Through the Twenties."
When describing the concept, Arnett cites Douglas Coupland's book
"Generation X," which dissected the 20-something years of those who are now
in their 30s. Arnett said that Coupland's concept was right on, but that
generations beyond X will experience a segment of transition before
adulthood.
While Wilner and her website members consider the phase one of crisis,
Arnett believes quarter-life is a positive time, what he calls the "age of
possibilities," specifically for those in the middle class. Arnett concedes
that those in their early 20s spend more time alone than anyone except the
elderly. But he has found that, if anything, 20-somethings nowadays are
overwhelmingly optimistic.
"Almost everyone thinks things are going to work out well for them in the
end," he said. "Everyone thinks they're going to find their soul mate and
their dream job. Fifty percent of them get divorced from their `soul mate,'
and there are not enough dream jobs to go around."
In Somerville, not far from Inman Square, Sara-Beth Zoto, a Syracuse
University graduate, recently packed for a move to Los Angeles. She had no
specific reason for leaving, but said she hoped a gigantic move, one without
reason or purpose, would mark the end of her early 20s, a segment of her
life that has been polluted by
soulless jobs and confusion.
Zoto decided to pick up and move this past April, one month after turning
25.
"I'm looking for recruits," she said, eyeing her roommates, who threw her a
going-away party earlier this summer and all claim to have quarter-life
problems of their own.
Zoto agreed with Arnett that being in a quarter-life phase shouldn't have to
involve a crisis. She said she had learned to embrace her lack of roots.
"My thing is, here I just work to pay bills," she said. "I can just work to
pay bills over there, too."
Wilner said for those who are having a quarter-life crisis, there is good
news. She believes that if people work through a quarter-life crisis
honestly and thoroughly, they'll skip the midlife crisis. The insecurity
that has led 40- to 60-year-olds to question their choices will not haunt
those who spent their 20s taking time to consider all of their options, she
said.
"We won't want to go back and change anything," she said. "We'll welcome
stability."
SIDEBAR:
SURVIVING A QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS
For those in this crisis, here are some media for coping:
"Heavier Things," quarter-life music by John Mayer Mayer's crisis is
detailed not only in his 2001 album, "Room for Squares," but in his latest
album, "Heaver Things," which features quarter-life theme songs including
"Something's Missing," in which Mayer asks, "How come everything I think I
need always comes with batteries?"
"Reality Bites," re-released 10th-anniversary edition soundtrack, a disc of
quarter-life anthems This compilation was released in May and includes five
songs not on the original soundtrack. It also includes the Knack's "My
Sharona," a song some in crisis listen to during moments of extreme joy.
"On the Road," semi-autographical quarter-life novel Jack Kerouac spends his
quarter-life traveling the country with a friend. A cross-country trip is
not appropriate for those with student loans. Best to live vicariously.
"What Should I Do With My Life?" (inset)
Po Bronson's self-help book about choosing a purpose in life profiles 50
people who are looking to answer the question, including the creator of "St.
Elmo's Fire," depicted in crisis about leaving Hollywood.
"St Elmo's Fire," quarter-life cinema sent from the '80s Friends graduate
from college and struggle to survive dating, working, and choosing an
identity. Demi Moore's character considers suicide after racking up debt.
Judd Nelson's character realizes that Republicans pay more. And Andrew
McCarthy's character writes an article titled "The Meaning of Life" that is
published on the front page of The Washington Post. Sadly, quarter-life
viewers of the movie never get to read it.
"Singles," quarter-life cinema sent from the '90s Cameron Crowe directed
this movie about a group of alienated 20-somethings looking for love in
Seattle. Characters feel stagnant and are self-absorbed. The film is set to
music by '90s rockers, including solo work from Paul Westerberg, who sings
of his "dyslexic" heart."
THE QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS
Author(s): Meredith Goldstein, Globe Staff Date: September 8, 2004
Page: D1 Section: Living
Some were unemployed. Most were underemployed. All felt incomplete.
They were a group of friends who were all just about 25. After college they
had moved to Boston, the closest city to their respective universities, and
were now experiencing what some have dubbed a quarter-life crisis. So this
past spring, they had a party. The invitation read:
"Are you between the ages of 22 and 29? Are you directionless, apathetic, or
dissatisfied with your job? Do you even HAVE a job? Have you been in a state
of `limbo' since you graduated college while you start from scratch building
a career and a life? If you have answered `yes' to one or more of the
preceding questions, you just might be dead inside."
About 40 of them gathered in Somerville. They made it a costume party, and
guests worked out their quarter-life angst by dressing as what they hoped
they'd be by their mid-20s - working professionals, artists, poets, and
musicians.
A few guests dared to show up as themselves, claiming to be satisfied with
life at 25.
"I almost kicked them out of the house," said 25-year-old Alexandra Checka,
one of the party's hosts.
The concept of experiencing angst in one's 20s is nothing new. It has been
explored in movies spanning generations, from "The Graduate" to "Reality
Bites" and the recently released "Garden State." Musician John Mayer, 26,
who spent some pre-crisis years in Boston, sang about it. He crooned about
what "might be a quarter-life crisis or just the stirring in my soul" and
asked, "Am I living it right?" in his song "Why Georgia."
But there is a new movement afoot of professionals studying today's
20-somethings. They maintain that there's a phase of life - quarter-life -
which, like adolescence and midlife, has its own set of challenges and
characteristics. People get married later and have more transient careers
than before. They are in debt longer, sometimes in school longer. The early
to late 20s represents a time of extreme instability, according to the
experts.
"The way I look at it is a transition to adulthood," said Abby Wilner, a
28-year-old who is working on a second book about her peers. "It's taking
longer than ever today because of college loans, debt, competition for jobs,
more and more people living at home with their parents, and people taking
longer than ever to get married. This phase, this transition, is becoming a
more tumultuous process."
In 2001, Wilner turned the new concept of this life phase into a nonfiction
guide for those out of school. The book, "Quarterlife Crisis: the Unique
Challenges of Life in Your Twenties" (written with Alexandra Robbins)
quickly became a best-selling explanation of post-college angst.
Twenty-somethings responded so enthusiastically to the quarter-life concept
that Wilner created a website with message boards and information to set up
regional support groups. People visit www.quarterlifecrisis.com throughout
the day disclosing their fears, questions, excitement, and misery. She now
has about 10,000 registered users with 1.5 million hits per month. Postings
and emails come from all over the United States as well as Australia and the
Philippines.
She said she aims for the organization to eventually serve as "the AARP for
people in their 20s."
The posts on Wilner's website tell a story of a purgatory experienced after
college, before adulthood. Members write to one another about everything
from their cars to their spouses. They talk about whether antidepressants
will help. They wonder where their friends went. They can't decide what to
do next.
Most, but not all, share a sense of humor about the confusion.
One quarter-lifer recently posted his dilemma on the site: " . . . basically
been Quarter-Life Crisis-ing it for over a year now . . . graduated school,
fell into corporate hole of boredom, watched bottom fall out of corporate
hole of boredom during prime job market downturn, felt as though the world
was full of opportunity, moved around a lot in search of happiness, lost a
relationship, fell into deep depression, fought said depression . . .
grappled daily with concept of happiness, success, and value of venture and
pursuits, and now am here before you hoping that somehow writing this all
down will precipitate a solution."
A lighter post read, "Last night, while playing the literary version of
Trivial Pursuit, I started crying because I couldn't remember the names of
the authors/book titles, etc. Everyone thought I was insane and I ended up
leaving the party to go home and cry some more because I am stupid. . . . I
was an English major and I got beat at literary Trivial Pursuit."
Wilner planned to host a quarter-life crisis convention last month in her
hometown of Washington D.C., but it was canceled. The quarter-lifers
couldn't commit to the date and the cost.
"Not surprising," Wilner said, laughing.
Quarter-lifers around Boston say they believe the crisis concept is
legitimate.
In explaining the feeling, Checka cited that rare perfect day of weather one
experiences in Boston. "You can do anything. You can go to a museum or a
sports game, but you know there's not going to be another nice Saturday for
the rest of the year. What do you do? Do you do everything? Do you do one
thing? Are you going to be sitting in a museum thinking, `I'm missing the
day?' " said Checka, who added that with the help of a new job, she's
recently been able to escape her crisis.
Christa Bosch, 26, a Smith College graduate who attended the Somerville
quarter-life party, believes she entered a second phase of her quarter-life
crisis when she decided to go to law school. She has her own take on what
the concept means. "It's like a film of anxiety over everything that I'm
doing," she said.
Jeffrey Arnett, a University of Maryland psychology professor, has created a
field of study surrounding this phase of life, which he calls "emerging
adulthood." Last month, he released a book called "Emerging Adulthood: The
Winding Road From the Late Teens Through the Twenties."
When describing the concept, Arnett cites Douglas Coupland's book
"Generation X," which dissected the 20-something years of those who are now
in their 30s. Arnett said that Coupland's concept was right on, but that
generations beyond X will experience a segment of transition before
adulthood.
While Wilner and her website members consider the phase one of crisis,
Arnett believes quarter-life is a positive time, what he calls the "age of
possibilities," specifically for those in the middle class. Arnett concedes
that those in their early 20s spend more time alone than anyone except the
elderly. But he has found that, if anything, 20-somethings nowadays are
overwhelmingly optimistic.
"Almost everyone thinks things are going to work out well for them in the
end," he said. "Everyone thinks they're going to find their soul mate and
their dream job. Fifty percent of them get divorced from their `soul mate,'
and there are not enough dream jobs to go around."
In Somerville, not far from Inman Square, Sara-Beth Zoto, a Syracuse
University graduate, recently packed for a move to Los Angeles. She had no
specific reason for leaving, but said she hoped a gigantic move, one without
reason or purpose, would mark the end of her early 20s, a segment of her
life that has been polluted by
soulless jobs and confusion.
Zoto decided to pick up and move this past April, one month after turning
25.
"I'm looking for recruits," she said, eyeing her roommates, who threw her a
going-away party earlier this summer and all claim to have quarter-life
problems of their own.
Zoto agreed with Arnett that being in a quarter-life phase shouldn't have to
involve a crisis. She said she had learned to embrace her lack of roots.
"My thing is, here I just work to pay bills," she said. "I can just work to
pay bills over there, too."
Wilner said for those who are having a quarter-life crisis, there is good
news. She believes that if people work through a quarter-life crisis
honestly and thoroughly, they'll skip the midlife crisis. The insecurity
that has led 40- to 60-year-olds to question their choices will not haunt
those who spent their 20s taking time to consider all of their options, she
said.
"We won't want to go back and change anything," she said. "We'll welcome
stability."
SIDEBAR:
SURVIVING A QUARTER-LIFE CRISIS
For those in this crisis, here are some media for coping:
"Heavier Things," quarter-life music by John Mayer Mayer's crisis is
detailed not only in his 2001 album, "Room for Squares," but in his latest
album, "Heaver Things," which features quarter-life theme songs including
"Something's Missing," in which Mayer asks, "How come everything I think I
need always comes with batteries?"
"Reality Bites," re-released 10th-anniversary edition soundtrack, a disc of
quarter-life anthems This compilation was released in May and includes five
songs not on the original soundtrack. It also includes the Knack's "My
Sharona," a song some in crisis listen to during moments of extreme joy.
"On the Road," semi-autographical quarter-life novel Jack Kerouac spends his
quarter-life traveling the country with a friend. A cross-country trip is
not appropriate for those with student loans. Best to live vicariously.
"What Should I Do With My Life?" (inset)
Po Bronson's self-help book about choosing a purpose in life profiles 50
people who are looking to answer the question, including the creator of "St.
Elmo's Fire," depicted in crisis about leaving Hollywood.
"St Elmo's Fire," quarter-life cinema sent from the '80s Friends graduate
from college and struggle to survive dating, working, and choosing an
identity. Demi Moore's character considers suicide after racking up debt.
Judd Nelson's character realizes that Republicans pay more. And Andrew
McCarthy's character writes an article titled "The Meaning of Life" that is
published on the front page of The Washington Post. Sadly, quarter-life
viewers of the movie never get to read it.
"Singles," quarter-life cinema sent from the '90s Cameron Crowe directed
this movie about a group of alienated 20-somethings looking for love in
Seattle. Characters feel stagnant and are self-absorbed. The film is set to
music by '90s rockers, including solo work from Paul Westerberg, who sings
of his "dyslexic" heart."