(no subject)
Stalked again, a rant by Desiway123.
funkygrunmonke is stalking Desiway123
funkygrunmonke’s REAL name :
Michel Tubb
funkygrunmonke’s REAL DOB :
09th April 1982
Height :189 cm
Weight : 78.6 kg
funkygrunmonke has dreamt about you :
27 times
funkygrunmonke became interested in you :
30th December 2004
funkygrunmonke’s latest dream about you
After a brief rendezvous in a unisex spa, the two lovers decide to make kittens behind an unattended reception desk. 5 minutes into the experience David Hasselhoff mysteriously appears at the desk with his hand resting casually on the side of his cheek trying to surpress the grin that by-now has engulfed his face. He steals a glimpse of your genetalia before disappearing as quickly as he came.
This is how funkygrunmonke describes your relationship behind your back
‘If I didn’t have Desiway123 in my life I think I would chop my head off with my fathers razor. it really means that much to me.’
funkygrunmonke’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
Your cat didn’t run away Desiway123, funkygrunmonke is holding it captive!
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
funkygrunmonke has Desiway123 tattooed right across their chest.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I love you. Actually I know I love you. The ouijaboard said it was true. It told me to tell you that if you do not reciprocate my love you’ll get an arrow in the head.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
14 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"I think there’s a bomb in our house. My friend left a rucksack in here and I can hear ticking."
funkygrunmonke’s Police File
15 years of continual drug abuse has taken it’s toll on funkygrunmonke’s psyche. Unstable and a potential threat to society.
Testimonies about funkygrunmonke
pokemasterdg - A deformed enuch
‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! funkygrunmonke a stalker? Well I suppose it makes sense actually. That bastard had really shifty eyes…’
akutenshi88 - Overweight cult comedian
‘Boring. I know Desiway123 and funkygrunmonke really love each other. They are both just seeking attention. Just get married and stop the fucking games already! Jesus!’
straylightunity - Mixes vodka with Whiskey
‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and funkygrunmonke and Desiway123 would definitely top that list.’