you might be a redneck if...
...you're caught lying through your tooth
...you work without a shirt on and so does your husband
...an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life
... you've worn a tube top to a funeral home
...you open a beer during a eulogy
...your dad's cell number has nothing to do with the telephone
...you've ridden an electric floor buffer
...you've used a barstool as a walker
...you have an electronic singing fish in more than 3 rooms of your house
...you own a complete set of salad bowls that say 'Cool Whip' on the side
...you had your nipple bitten off by a beaver
...you work without a shirt on and so does your husband
...an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life
... you've worn a tube top to a funeral home
...you open a beer during a eulogy
...your dad's cell number has nothing to do with the telephone
...you've ridden an electric floor buffer
...you've used a barstool as a walker
...you have an electronic singing fish in more than 3 rooms of your house
...you own a complete set of salad bowls that say 'Cool Whip' on the side
...you had your nipple bitten off by a beaver