(no subject)
I was asked to write a reaction to the State of the Union address. Can I really send this to the school newspaper?
The State of the Union address Y2K6, baby.
What? You didn't watch it? Oh, that's okay, I know it's probably hard to get psyched about being lied to for an hour straight. Or maybe you had homework, or a job, or like, a real life. Or maybe you were actually invited to the State of the Union, but got arrested trying to see it? (big ups, my girl Cindy Sheehan!) Anyway, I took the liberty (read: was assigned) to watch it myself, so I could break it down for you.
Basically, lots of clapping and freedom. We love freedom. And clapping. But, to my fellow Democrats in the House and Senate, you don't have to clap so much. Seriously. Even on issues you and the President violently disagree on, you were still clapping. I’m not feeling that. Cut it out.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, there were a few LOL moments interspersed between all the jingoist bullshit and nationalist pride. For example, the President was really clear about instituting a ban on human cloning and human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids? Actually, that was more of a WTF moment, but it still counts. The President also made a funny about how baby boomers like himself and former President Clinton are going to bankrupt our country into oblivion. That one was less funny ‘ha ha’ and more funny ‘oh shit.’ It was also funny when the President mentioned his failed attempt at ‘fixing’ the looming Social Security crisis and Democrats took it upon themselves to stand up and cheer. Oh, hey! A battle we actually won? Yes, now it is okay to clap, guys. Good job.
To tell the truth, this year’s State of the Union address had a few congenial nods to the Democrats peppered throughout. Is it possible we’ve actually started to rub off on the guy? Or have these points been co-opted by his speech-writers because they simply make sense to rational people. (The Republicans didn’t clap so much at these points, naturally.) The biggest shocker was that George W. Bush correctly used the words solar power and wind energy within a workable sentence. Say what? Who? Let history show that on January 31st, 2006, The President of the United States actually addressed our energy crisis. No, this is not a joke. Hybrid humans, bad; hybrid cars, good.
Don’t get me wrong, this is all fine and dandy but is anyone else thinking too little, too late? (That’s our George.) Call it ‘liberal conspiracy crap,’ but was he holding out on these options as long as possible for some ulterior motive like reason? I mean, seriously. Let’s talk about Al Gore for a second. Do you remember him? He used these same points in his 2000 election speech, calling for tax breaks for companies seeking initiatives in green technology, and for people who drove hybrid cars. Bush totally laughed. “Why should Americans have to change their way of life? Do you know anyone who drives a hybrid car?” Now it’s my turn to laugh. What up now, flip-flopper?
Aside from finally realizing that we have other energy options that do not involve occupying all of Arabia, this is where I will stop agreeing with the President. Apparently wiretapping Americans is okay, and we are safest as a country when the whole world is our business. These points occupied most of the President’s speech, and at times managed to thoroughly freak me out.
Who cares about America’s problems when there’s a whole world out there to fix! Iraq, Iraq, Iran (watch out guys, he keeps name dropping you). Spreading freedom throughout the world. Freedom is on the march. “The Road to victory will bring our troops home.” I’m saving you the worst of it, really. Throughout this whole time the camera kept cutting away to some Iraqi woman sitting beside the First Lady. Wow, how touching. And totally coincidental.
Forgive me for sounding so cynical, but it is entirely clear to me that this President does not have my best interest in mind when he talks about ‘freedom.’ He did it a lot. Trust me. And just what freedoms do you think the President is referring to? Can you think of any? The freedom to be in debt the rest of your life because of outrageous tuition? The freedom to look up whatever you want on the internet? The freedom to choose between a wire hanger or a trip down to Tiajuana? What’s it going to take?
Honestly people, don’t clap for this. You can do better.
Register to vote.
Dems 2006
The State of the Union address Y2K6, baby.
What? You didn't watch it? Oh, that's okay, I know it's probably hard to get psyched about being lied to for an hour straight. Or maybe you had homework, or a job, or like, a real life. Or maybe you were actually invited to the State of the Union, but got arrested trying to see it? (big ups, my girl Cindy Sheehan!) Anyway, I took the liberty (read: was assigned) to watch it myself, so I could break it down for you.
Basically, lots of clapping and freedom. We love freedom. And clapping. But, to my fellow Democrats in the House and Senate, you don't have to clap so much. Seriously. Even on issues you and the President violently disagree on, you were still clapping. I’m not feeling that. Cut it out.
Okay, now that we got that out of the way, there were a few LOL moments interspersed between all the jingoist bullshit and nationalist pride. For example, the President was really clear about instituting a ban on human cloning and human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids? Actually, that was more of a WTF moment, but it still counts. The President also made a funny about how baby boomers like himself and former President Clinton are going to bankrupt our country into oblivion. That one was less funny ‘ha ha’ and more funny ‘oh shit.’ It was also funny when the President mentioned his failed attempt at ‘fixing’ the looming Social Security crisis and Democrats took it upon themselves to stand up and cheer. Oh, hey! A battle we actually won? Yes, now it is okay to clap, guys. Good job.
To tell the truth, this year’s State of the Union address had a few congenial nods to the Democrats peppered throughout. Is it possible we’ve actually started to rub off on the guy? Or have these points been co-opted by his speech-writers because they simply make sense to rational people. (The Republicans didn’t clap so much at these points, naturally.) The biggest shocker was that George W. Bush correctly used the words solar power and wind energy within a workable sentence. Say what? Who? Let history show that on January 31st, 2006, The President of the United States actually addressed our energy crisis. No, this is not a joke. Hybrid humans, bad; hybrid cars, good.
Don’t get me wrong, this is all fine and dandy but is anyone else thinking too little, too late? (That’s our George.) Call it ‘liberal conspiracy crap,’ but was he holding out on these options as long as possible for some ulterior motive like reason? I mean, seriously. Let’s talk about Al Gore for a second. Do you remember him? He used these same points in his 2000 election speech, calling for tax breaks for companies seeking initiatives in green technology, and for people who drove hybrid cars. Bush totally laughed. “Why should Americans have to change their way of life? Do you know anyone who drives a hybrid car?” Now it’s my turn to laugh. What up now, flip-flopper?
Aside from finally realizing that we have other energy options that do not involve occupying all of Arabia, this is where I will stop agreeing with the President. Apparently wiretapping Americans is okay, and we are safest as a country when the whole world is our business. These points occupied most of the President’s speech, and at times managed to thoroughly freak me out.
Who cares about America’s problems when there’s a whole world out there to fix! Iraq, Iraq, Iran (watch out guys, he keeps name dropping you). Spreading freedom throughout the world. Freedom is on the march. “The Road to victory will bring our troops home.” I’m saving you the worst of it, really. Throughout this whole time the camera kept cutting away to some Iraqi woman sitting beside the First Lady. Wow, how touching. And totally coincidental.
Forgive me for sounding so cynical, but it is entirely clear to me that this President does not have my best interest in mind when he talks about ‘freedom.’ He did it a lot. Trust me. And just what freedoms do you think the President is referring to? Can you think of any? The freedom to be in debt the rest of your life because of outrageous tuition? The freedom to look up whatever you want on the internet? The freedom to choose between a wire hanger or a trip down to Tiajuana? What’s it going to take?
Honestly people, don’t clap for this. You can do better.
Register to vote.
Dems 2006