(no subject)

[desireseemseasy]

dont you hate it when you get all excited for something and then when it actually happens, it's not nearly as fun as you anticipated? yeah, it sucks. today sucked. fourth of july. family came over for a cookout around 4, food was okay. pretty boring for the most part. then we decided to go down to canton for fireworks over the water. i love the water/harbor/boats so i was all excited to go. so we're there, me, mom, sisters, aunts, uncle, cousins, we're all on the dock, fireworks were gorgeous but the entire time i just kept thinking about my dad. i missed him so much tonight, i cant even explain it. just seeing my cousin sitting with her dad, talking, a completely normal thing, made me want to cry. it really took everything in me to keep the tears back. whennnnnn is this going to go away? i hate it more than anything. i felt a little better after seeing justin and *the rockstars* [mike, mac, and brian - <3 my favoriteee] outside redfish. dont know why but just talking to them for like the half hour that i saw them made me feel a little better.

whatever. i just lost all interest in writing this......i hate it when i get like this. please make it stop?