(no subject)
maybe its the fever.. i dont knw .. but i keep think of everthing that we hoped for all of our past we were so close we were best friends and now .. it seems like we are strangers .. all my friends i feel like im stranger from .. i feel like we dont knw anything about each other.. i feel like its just like we finally are seprated its like a relationship you are in and it hurts the same .. i dont kwn why it seems to hit me today maybe cause i was at my friends house today and i was babysitting her kid and i see the pics on the wall and i see her and her friends .. and i think about what me and my friends would be doing right now if we were all together .. we would be going to school and then what would we party on the weekends .. shop go out to eat .. write .. ontop of trains at the park.. go get icecream .. clean each others houses.. you knw what do you do with your friends now .. we are just going our own way and . its just sad i dont kwn what to do .. i feel like i am losing somehting and its finally getting to me i knw its been like forever since we have been friends or i have hung out with any of my true friends then why am i sad.. i dont knw.. ha i guess its cause I only talk to Coty about personal stuff.. and i even hide stuff from jessica ..cause i dont knw what is wrong with her she makes me sad i have nightmares at night about her .. im afraid the next time i see her is goign to be at her funeral.. she is just spiraling out of control.. i dont kwnw hat to do with her i can help her and i dont think her coming to me is ogin to help her she will end up like i was running away from her proublems.. i dont knw
on a better note the hospital has been good i have been working hard 40hours a week.. and school starts in the spring i didnt want to go to school this fall trying to get money for presents ..and I want experince workin for now .. and save for school .. cause..i didnt quilfy for finacle aid.. cause we make to much money us two together ha.. trying to buy one of those smart cars.. it only seats two but we have our truck if we want more people to go with us .. i just want a cool car ha.. its that or my all time fave ptcruiser..but those are like every where so i dont knw .. we were think of getting a house but i thihk im going to say na.. cause we want to move to cali when his schooling is done .. witch i think he has like 3yrs ha and i have 2yrs and then after that i will have 3yrs.. so i dont knw i hope it goes well xoxo
on a better note the hospital has been good i have been working hard 40hours a week.. and school starts in the spring i didnt want to go to school this fall trying to get money for presents ..and I want experince workin for now .. and save for school .. cause..i didnt quilfy for finacle aid.. cause we make to much money us two together ha.. trying to buy one of those smart cars.. it only seats two but we have our truck if we want more people to go with us .. i just want a cool car ha.. its that or my all time fave ptcruiser..but those are like every where so i dont knw .. we were think of getting a house but i thihk im going to say na.. cause we want to move to cali when his schooling is done .. witch i think he has like 3yrs ha and i have 2yrs and then after that i will have 3yrs.. so i dont knw i hope it goes well xoxo