(no subject)
*Trigger warning as this post is a frank discussion of child abuse- nothing graphic but YMMV*
So I woke up this morning to news that Amazon has discontinued selling a book entitled "The Pedophiles Guide to Love and Pleasure." Apparently they received hundreds of complaints about the book and after initially defending their decision to sell the book citing anti-censorship policies, they caved to pressure and removed the book from their listings.
I have actually heard of books like this before. There was even a website that received some media attention a year or so ago that was reported to list the best places for pedophiles to look at (but not attack) children- parks where adults would not be bothered if they just watched the playground so to speak.
For now, I will set aside the issue of whether or not free speech extends to this book. I personally feel that free speech cannot be limited just because we disagree with what is being said. Once we start censoring one thing, it sets a precedent and we don't know where it will end. What I hope to tackle in this post is society's seemingly whole heartedly negative reaction to the topic of sexual abuse of children and whether or not a modification in this attitude would actually protect children in the long run.
This book is apparently not a how to guide in molesting children, but rather instructions on how people that are sexually attracted to children can operate within the law. I feel like this concept is so disturbing to people that they are quick to condemn anything that suggests that pedophiles are anything but monsters that deserve to, at the very least, be locked away in prison. Society sees child abusers as the lowest of the low and often fails to see these men and women as people and not acts. I am by no means defending child molesters. I know all too well the damage that molestation and rape can do to someone. However, it should be recognized that there are people in our society who have this attraction to children. There should be an effort to intervene before a child is hurt.
What would you do if someone told you that they fantasized about molesting children, but had never acted upon these feelings in any way (this includes looking at child pornography as well as actual contact with a child)? What if someone came to you and asked for help to control themselves, something they could do to stop themselves from acting on their desires? Perhaps they are disgusted that they have been masturbating to images of naked children that they have simply conjured up in their minds. Should the sexualization of these imaginary children be condemned or even punished?
It seems that we have no treatment or punishment program for people who have not (yet) broken the law. Generally, we believe that people should not be persecuted for mere thoughts. But what if someone recognizes that they are headed down a criminal path and actually wants to stop? It seems that we are only interested in these people until they have hurt a child, and then all we want is their head on a platter.
If this book is truly some sort of manual on how to deal with sexual feelings for children, I think that people should at least be open to reading it before they condemn it. I wish that I had read the book before it was taken down. There is some worry in the back of my mind that if I had downloaded the book I would be put on some sort of watch list (even though that's illegal), and flagged somehow as a potential predator. There is an assumption that anyone who purchased a book like this would be a threat. I venture that there are other people out there like myself who would have liked the opportunity to read this book before judging it. The idea of a book addressing molestation from a viewpoint other than total revulsion and hatred does not inherently offend me.
I think there should be a movement to try to collect data on why these crimes are committed. When someone is murdered, people want to know the motive. What did the murderer hope to gain from this horrible act? While most of us believe that murder is wrong, we tend to see murderers differently based on the circumstances in which they killed. There are different degrees of charges for murder and manslaughter, and different sentencing guidelines as a result. We think that there are some murderers who are inherently evil, who murder for the mere enjoyment of it- and we condemn them sometimes with sentences of life in prison or even the death penalty. However, others who cause loss of life receive much lighter sentences and sometimes even have the opportunity to start their life anew once released. The point is that murderers are sometimes given sympathy when we look at the specific details to their case.
Child molesters aren't generally given this leniency. Sure, sentences vary according to the number of charges- but society condemns a molester or a downloader/distributor of child pornography with the same hatred and disgust no matter how many offenses they've committed or how many victims they might have harmed. Also, once released from prison, child molesters have to register as sex offenders and neighbors are alerted that this person lives in the area. Often, these people are harassed and threatened- as people are afraid that their children are at risk. The idea that child molesters cannot be rehabilitated is a commonly held belief. This is the once a pervert always a pervert philosophy.
Where are these people supposed to go after they are released? No one can expect that a child molester will be given a life sentence, it's just not going to happen. They have to be released at some point. They have to live somewhere. They have to get a job somewhere. There are conflicting statistics on the percentages of sex offenders who reoffend once released from prison. There have been more than a handful of highly publicized cases where pedophiles have gone on to molest/rape and murder children after they've been released. But is this typical? Is there a way to prevent this? Are people with these feelings somehow destined to keep offending for the rest of their lives?
I know it's unsettling to try to dissect the mind of a pedophile, to ponder about his or her motivation and thoughts around the crimes they commit or think about committing. But I think we have to do this. In order to protect our children we need to know why pedophiles do what they do. Only then can we even begin to stop people from offending. Discussions about child molestation should be encouraged, not immediately dismissed as taboo.
Oprah did a show several months ago in which she interviewed three child molesters. I believe all three had been released from prison at that point. She asked them tough questions and got somewhat satisfactory answers. This was seen as groundbreaking and unusual. But after the episode it was almost never talked about again. Oprah went there, but I propose that as a society we need to go back there again and again. We need to break the silence and the hostility and get the information we need.
Who are the people who would buy this book? What information are they looking for? What are their goals? Is their a desire to stop from acting on these impulses? Is there a desire to not reoffend? If so, how can we make these desires stronger than the compulsion to abuse? Why doesn't the harm inflicted upon a child by these acts stop people from doing them? Do the impulses always win out? Has anyone found a way to control their desires? Can a child molester ever be trusted not to molest again? Why do child molesters molest children? I know I've kind of been assuming that there is a sexual desire motivation, but perhaps some molesters have other motivations. Often when we speak of rape we say that it is a crime about power and violence and not about sex. Perhaps some child molesters enjoy the power that comes with controlling someone else. Perhaps some child molesters enjoy inflicting pain.
I'm not suggesting that this book can answer those questions, only that I wish the controversy surrounding this book would open up a discussion about molestation and what society can do to prevent it. I don't think banning this book will stop any children from being hurt. Shouldn't that be the goal?
nikki
So I woke up this morning to news that Amazon has discontinued selling a book entitled "The Pedophiles Guide to Love and Pleasure." Apparently they received hundreds of complaints about the book and after initially defending their decision to sell the book citing anti-censorship policies, they caved to pressure and removed the book from their listings.
I have actually heard of books like this before. There was even a website that received some media attention a year or so ago that was reported to list the best places for pedophiles to look at (but not attack) children- parks where adults would not be bothered if they just watched the playground so to speak.
For now, I will set aside the issue of whether or not free speech extends to this book. I personally feel that free speech cannot be limited just because we disagree with what is being said. Once we start censoring one thing, it sets a precedent and we don't know where it will end. What I hope to tackle in this post is society's seemingly whole heartedly negative reaction to the topic of sexual abuse of children and whether or not a modification in this attitude would actually protect children in the long run.
This book is apparently not a how to guide in molesting children, but rather instructions on how people that are sexually attracted to children can operate within the law. I feel like this concept is so disturbing to people that they are quick to condemn anything that suggests that pedophiles are anything but monsters that deserve to, at the very least, be locked away in prison. Society sees child abusers as the lowest of the low and often fails to see these men and women as people and not acts. I am by no means defending child molesters. I know all too well the damage that molestation and rape can do to someone. However, it should be recognized that there are people in our society who have this attraction to children. There should be an effort to intervene before a child is hurt.
What would you do if someone told you that they fantasized about molesting children, but had never acted upon these feelings in any way (this includes looking at child pornography as well as actual contact with a child)? What if someone came to you and asked for help to control themselves, something they could do to stop themselves from acting on their desires? Perhaps they are disgusted that they have been masturbating to images of naked children that they have simply conjured up in their minds. Should the sexualization of these imaginary children be condemned or even punished?
It seems that we have no treatment or punishment program for people who have not (yet) broken the law. Generally, we believe that people should not be persecuted for mere thoughts. But what if someone recognizes that they are headed down a criminal path and actually wants to stop? It seems that we are only interested in these people until they have hurt a child, and then all we want is their head on a platter.
If this book is truly some sort of manual on how to deal with sexual feelings for children, I think that people should at least be open to reading it before they condemn it. I wish that I had read the book before it was taken down. There is some worry in the back of my mind that if I had downloaded the book I would be put on some sort of watch list (even though that's illegal), and flagged somehow as a potential predator. There is an assumption that anyone who purchased a book like this would be a threat. I venture that there are other people out there like myself who would have liked the opportunity to read this book before judging it. The idea of a book addressing molestation from a viewpoint other than total revulsion and hatred does not inherently offend me.
I think there should be a movement to try to collect data on why these crimes are committed. When someone is murdered, people want to know the motive. What did the murderer hope to gain from this horrible act? While most of us believe that murder is wrong, we tend to see murderers differently based on the circumstances in which they killed. There are different degrees of charges for murder and manslaughter, and different sentencing guidelines as a result. We think that there are some murderers who are inherently evil, who murder for the mere enjoyment of it- and we condemn them sometimes with sentences of life in prison or even the death penalty. However, others who cause loss of life receive much lighter sentences and sometimes even have the opportunity to start their life anew once released. The point is that murderers are sometimes given sympathy when we look at the specific details to their case.
Child molesters aren't generally given this leniency. Sure, sentences vary according to the number of charges- but society condemns a molester or a downloader/distributor of child pornography with the same hatred and disgust no matter how many offenses they've committed or how many victims they might have harmed. Also, once released from prison, child molesters have to register as sex offenders and neighbors are alerted that this person lives in the area. Often, these people are harassed and threatened- as people are afraid that their children are at risk. The idea that child molesters cannot be rehabilitated is a commonly held belief. This is the once a pervert always a pervert philosophy.
Where are these people supposed to go after they are released? No one can expect that a child molester will be given a life sentence, it's just not going to happen. They have to be released at some point. They have to live somewhere. They have to get a job somewhere. There are conflicting statistics on the percentages of sex offenders who reoffend once released from prison. There have been more than a handful of highly publicized cases where pedophiles have gone on to molest/rape and murder children after they've been released. But is this typical? Is there a way to prevent this? Are people with these feelings somehow destined to keep offending for the rest of their lives?
I know it's unsettling to try to dissect the mind of a pedophile, to ponder about his or her motivation and thoughts around the crimes they commit or think about committing. But I think we have to do this. In order to protect our children we need to know why pedophiles do what they do. Only then can we even begin to stop people from offending. Discussions about child molestation should be encouraged, not immediately dismissed as taboo.
Oprah did a show several months ago in which she interviewed three child molesters. I believe all three had been released from prison at that point. She asked them tough questions and got somewhat satisfactory answers. This was seen as groundbreaking and unusual. But after the episode it was almost never talked about again. Oprah went there, but I propose that as a society we need to go back there again and again. We need to break the silence and the hostility and get the information we need.
Who are the people who would buy this book? What information are they looking for? What are their goals? Is their a desire to stop from acting on these impulses? Is there a desire to not reoffend? If so, how can we make these desires stronger than the compulsion to abuse? Why doesn't the harm inflicted upon a child by these acts stop people from doing them? Do the impulses always win out? Has anyone found a way to control their desires? Can a child molester ever be trusted not to molest again? Why do child molesters molest children? I know I've kind of been assuming that there is a sexual desire motivation, but perhaps some molesters have other motivations. Often when we speak of rape we say that it is a crime about power and violence and not about sex. Perhaps some child molesters enjoy the power that comes with controlling someone else. Perhaps some child molesters enjoy inflicting pain.
I'm not suggesting that this book can answer those questions, only that I wish the controversy surrounding this book would open up a discussion about molestation and what society can do to prevent it. I don't think banning this book will stop any children from being hurt. Shouldn't that be the goal?
nikki