(no subject)

[desired_abuse]

maybe i'm not now
[all the things i wish i was]
but i will be
all the things i ever promised anyone i'd be.
i'm not there, or even here.
but i will be.

maybe now i'm nothing
but i'm starting to become a warm little idea
that fits nicely in your pocket.
i'm not going to lie, i'll never be anything neat like that.
at least for now you can keep me in your head.
sometime soon...
i hope to be enough to hold your hand.
to push your hair off your face.
to laugh and smile and cry and know we have a secret.

i won't always be not there or here;
and someday i'll be back from where i went.
i hope.  but at least i have hope.

i won't always be something that gives pleasure
and takes it away
and causes hollowness and pain.
i won't let myself.