(no subject)
i'm in trouble, i'm failing at life.
nobody's gonna bail me out. i should go smoke, but i'm unmotivated and i don't feel that pathetic yet.
i sorta dropped school today. i did show up, at least i can give myself credit for that. but the sick feeling stayed in my stomach from the moment i left the house for school to the moment i clocked out without permission. i'm not going back anytime soon. at least not there. i need to find an apartment, and get a car, and get back in school.
instead i'm sitting here watching movies that i've seen at least five times each.
i shaved my head on saturday night. everyone seems stunned and pitying. i pity them. stupid fucks. everywhere i go, work, school, supermarket, wherever. it takes me about five minutes before i start missing my friends. the ones who said "fuck yeah, that's awesome" when brandon shaved my head. i don't care if i look beautiful. i'm sortof over being me. i just want to disappear. i feel i already have, from myself. now i just want my body to do the same.
my health is failing as well... what am i going to do with myself?
nobody's gonna bail me out. i should go smoke, but i'm unmotivated and i don't feel that pathetic yet.
i sorta dropped school today. i did show up, at least i can give myself credit for that. but the sick feeling stayed in my stomach from the moment i left the house for school to the moment i clocked out without permission. i'm not going back anytime soon. at least not there. i need to find an apartment, and get a car, and get back in school.
instead i'm sitting here watching movies that i've seen at least five times each.
i shaved my head on saturday night. everyone seems stunned and pitying. i pity them. stupid fucks. everywhere i go, work, school, supermarket, wherever. it takes me about five minutes before i start missing my friends. the ones who said "fuck yeah, that's awesome" when brandon shaved my head. i don't care if i look beautiful. i'm sortof over being me. i just want to disappear. i feel i already have, from myself. now i just want my body to do the same.
my health is failing as well... what am i going to do with myself?