(no subject)
so what is a relationship?
like really, what is it.
is it the constant worry of why arent they answering the phone
the waiting up hours to hear back from someone
when in reality, youre just afraid to fall asleep becasue that GUT WRENCHING feeling of waking up
and seeing a blank phone.
i told mike i was gonna come out there wednesday night, and leave thursday before his night class.
math here, 3 hours drive, less than 24 hours there, 3 hours home.
"no i hav a lot of homework"
now, i know if i WENT to york, it would be like
yeaaaah come over i'll be atclass
but my stupid ass is willing to spend six hours in a car
to spend less than a day somewhere
and hear that be turned down.
every morning after him not calling
not answering a text
i fall for the stupid
"im sorry babe, i was just really drunk."
it would be one thing, if we just didnt talk, i was out he was out doing our thing
but its the sheer fact that someones talking to you
and you're choosing not to answer.
yeah, hes cheated.
alot.
and i try to forgive that
the cheating, honestly, doesnt hurt a quarter as much as the fact that he blaitnetly ignores me on a 3 times a week routine.
sometimes i know i deserve this, because i let it happen.
and for that, i dont deserve better, becasue this is where my standard is.
like really, what is it.
is it the constant worry of why arent they answering the phone
the waiting up hours to hear back from someone
when in reality, youre just afraid to fall asleep becasue that GUT WRENCHING feeling of waking up
and seeing a blank phone.
i told mike i was gonna come out there wednesday night, and leave thursday before his night class.
math here, 3 hours drive, less than 24 hours there, 3 hours home.
"no i hav a lot of homework"
now, i know if i WENT to york, it would be like
yeaaaah come over i'll be atclass
but my stupid ass is willing to spend six hours in a car
to spend less than a day somewhere
and hear that be turned down.
every morning after him not calling
not answering a text
i fall for the stupid
"im sorry babe, i was just really drunk."
it would be one thing, if we just didnt talk, i was out he was out doing our thing
but its the sheer fact that someones talking to you
and you're choosing not to answer.
yeah, hes cheated.
alot.
and i try to forgive that
the cheating, honestly, doesnt hurt a quarter as much as the fact that he blaitnetly ignores me on a 3 times a week routine.
sometimes i know i deserve this, because i let it happen.
and for that, i dont deserve better, becasue this is where my standard is.