Trying to die, with dignity, ......... it isn't easy....
Progress is a slow and steady process, one that can not be rushed, and when you try to, .......... nothing turns out the way you want it to, and that is a hard lesson to learn, trust me,.....*sigh
Anyways, so i met max, leslie and i went to go and get him....i had a good time, we hung out, really did nothing of any importance, but then leslie had to go home, and i didn't want her to get into trouble so she was taking us home,when he said that if he went home too early that he was going to be in a lot of trouble...so, i offered him to stay with me at brad's house....and yeah, i mean, one thing led to another and we had ended up messing around ..... all i really have to say is that i had fun, and that i hope he finds what he is looking for, i know that he just wants to have fun...and i respect that, who am i to say anything about having fun, because god knows that i have had my share, ..... he is just a hard person to read, and that makes it difficult for me because, i just always felt asthough everytime we talked to each other, it was going to some how lead to an arguement... and it didn't which is cool, i just don't know how he feels about my sence of humor and how i tease my friends..... i don't know, i mean, i can look at it like it is just something physical, but at the same time i just don't want to do that, because what if it WON'T lead to something more, ? and i don't want to look at it like it WILL be more someday if it won't...I just think that we are looking for different things, i mean i honestly do like him, and would like to get to know him, but only if it was going to go somewhere. So what do i do >? Risk falling hard for someone who is playing the field ? Or stop while i am ahead ? I want something serious, something that will last, ........ someone to love. I don't know where i stand in all of this...in a big pile of shit....thats where i stand, and i don't want to ..... i don't know, he is young,and needs to have his fun,...and i am not going to stop him from doing that...., but it is good, that i know all this and realize it, before, anything gets TOO personal....and what is it that i know >?? I have no idea, i think i need a beer, yeah thats what i need...and a cigarette....
GOD, WHY CAN'T I BE SOMEONE ELSE,
because it would be the same situation, just with different people......
All i want for christmas is to learn how to be apathetic to my feelings and thoughts ......
yeah, i just
i don't know,
i want to be as strong as people see me,
as strong as i know i can i be
Anyways, so i met max, leslie and i went to go and get him....i had a good time, we hung out, really did nothing of any importance, but then leslie had to go home, and i didn't want her to get into trouble so she was taking us home,when he said that if he went home too early that he was going to be in a lot of trouble...so, i offered him to stay with me at brad's house....and yeah, i mean, one thing led to another and we had ended up messing around ..... all i really have to say is that i had fun, and that i hope he finds what he is looking for, i know that he just wants to have fun...and i respect that, who am i to say anything about having fun, because god knows that i have had my share, ..... he is just a hard person to read, and that makes it difficult for me because, i just always felt asthough everytime we talked to each other, it was going to some how lead to an arguement... and it didn't which is cool, i just don't know how he feels about my sence of humor and how i tease my friends..... i don't know, i mean, i can look at it like it is just something physical, but at the same time i just don't want to do that, because what if it WON'T lead to something more, ? and i don't want to look at it like it WILL be more someday if it won't...I just think that we are looking for different things, i mean i honestly do like him, and would like to get to know him, but only if it was going to go somewhere. So what do i do >? Risk falling hard for someone who is playing the field ? Or stop while i am ahead ? I want something serious, something that will last, ........ someone to love. I don't know where i stand in all of this...in a big pile of shit....thats where i stand, and i don't want to ..... i don't know, he is young,and needs to have his fun,...and i am not going to stop him from doing that...., but it is good, that i know all this and realize it, before, anything gets TOO personal....and what is it that i know >?? I have no idea, i think i need a beer, yeah thats what i need...and a cigarette....
GOD, WHY CAN'T I BE SOMEONE ELSE,
because it would be the same situation, just with different people......
All i want for christmas is to learn how to be apathetic to my feelings and thoughts ......
yeah, i just
i don't know,
i want to be as strong as people see me,
as strong as i know i can i be