Check your privilege??
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This post is my feelings on the matter, you are feel to disagree. You are not, however, free to attack me or others on this blog.
As a disabled woman, i have to say i hate this phrase and the accompanying attitude. What i find in general is that it comes up almost exclusively directed at people who’ve misspoken out of frustration with no malicious intent, and you know what that does? it alienates people who are in the end just human and misspoke, draws attention to whatever sexist/ageist/ableist/racist/whatever-ist comment they mistakenly made and through that is actually more likely to offend people.
This is what i suggest would be better than the phrase “check your privilege” or accusing someone of being sexist/ageist/ableist/racist/whatever-ist:
- gently point out how certain wording can come across, including an explanation as to why what they said can be offensive - aggression is usually met with aggression, try being gentle first.
- suggest other wording options.
- give them a chance to correct.
- encourage less offensive wording and watch your own words - we all slip up now and then.
- consider using non-offensive language an act of compassion towards those who are marginalised/judged using various language. the idea that offensive wording displays privilege seems to me to be an attack on the speaker. telling the speaker “you think you’re better than the rest of us”. again, likely to put them on the defensive.
- if after all of this, they still choose to frequently speak in ways that offend (not just the occasional slip-up!), it might be time to review your contact of them.
i’m not entirely sure that this post has a point beyond “don’t be so hard on people”. no matter what our background and challenges may be, we’re all just human and all make mistakes. i think perhaps remembering that and being a little more compassionate in general might help.
