Define 'Real'

[designedtofall]

My mother went out to lunch today with my aunt and my godmother. When they returned I was in the kitchen fixing something to eat. There was some sort of bathroom off between them which left me first alone with my aunt. She asked me how bartending was going and I told her fairly well. We talked a bit about her moving to North Carolina. Then she went to the bathroom and I was left alone with my godmother. Her question to me was "So when are you going to get a real job?"

I am sick of this question and more so the phrase "real job". I've heard several times from my mother and my grandmother whenever I see her and any other nosey bitches that think themselves superior.

So in this sense, what defines real? Apparently all the jobs that I've had have been fakes, shams, immitation jobs. Does real mean have your own desk? Does real mean a work email address? Does real mean a tie and shiny shoes, firm handshakes and seminars? Does real mean a company car and full benifits?

Except for that last one, I'm not interested in real. I don't want a corporate job with some big company. I don't want slicked back hair and a tucked in shirt. I'm just not made for it. I'm not destined to be real.

I'm content with being a fake for the rest of my life.

I'm not a go getter, I'm a get by-er.

I wonder if my mother asks her office cleaning lady when she is getting a real job. I wonder if my godmother asks her kid's soccor coach when he is going to put his college degree to good use.

I wonder when they'll finally break my soul. I hope it's at least not until I'm 30.