an observation about human nature.
Isn’t it interesting how we humans dilute everything down? Nothing is ever solid, or resolute. Everything is always half way with us. I use an example, only because it is what jogged my thought process into this interesting observation, and I do not desire to try and come up with a better hypothetical situation.
We say, “Um, I’m kind of dating this girl.” Ok, well, first off, we pause before saying this, trying to form in our heads how we are going to say what needs to be said, and even though we know what we’re going to say, because we just took a few silent moments to think about it, we always manage to feel the need to put an “um” in front of it, to make it seem to sound less committed and reduce the intensity, then more uncommitted speech follows: “kind of”. Well, I would hope that you would know for sure or not. But it’s not that we don’t know for sure, it’s the fact that it seems less blunt, harsh and cruel, we say “kind of” to present a more casual feel, when really the other person knows it’s serious, as does the speaker, but yet, they are compelled to throw the relaxed “kind of” in there to weaken the apparent rejection. But of course, there are reasons that we use these kind of speech patterns when handling a delicate conversation. I mean, come on, which would you rather hear after asking “So, you wanna go out sometime?” Either A, “No, I’m dating someone.” Or B, “Um, I’m kind of seeing this girl.” Oh, and the “this girl” also deteriorates the straightforward truth, by de-personalizing the girl, into just a random, cast off person. Therefore making it easier to be said no to. Even though, you never really got a “no”, you are then supposed to surmise, assume and recognize, that “um, this girl” that they are “kind of dating” means that they are exclusive, and therefore they do not want to go out with you. Whew!
*The comments and feelings mentioned in this post are not meant to judge, accuse, resent or show anger or hostility toward we or they, “the speaker”. These lines were merely used for illustrative purposes only. But you probably already surmised that…
We say, “Um, I’m kind of dating this girl.” Ok, well, first off, we pause before saying this, trying to form in our heads how we are going to say what needs to be said, and even though we know what we’re going to say, because we just took a few silent moments to think about it, we always manage to feel the need to put an “um” in front of it, to make it seem to sound less committed and reduce the intensity, then more uncommitted speech follows: “kind of”. Well, I would hope that you would know for sure or not. But it’s not that we don’t know for sure, it’s the fact that it seems less blunt, harsh and cruel, we say “kind of” to present a more casual feel, when really the other person knows it’s serious, as does the speaker, but yet, they are compelled to throw the relaxed “kind of” in there to weaken the apparent rejection. But of course, there are reasons that we use these kind of speech patterns when handling a delicate conversation. I mean, come on, which would you rather hear after asking “So, you wanna go out sometime?” Either A, “No, I’m dating someone.” Or B, “Um, I’m kind of seeing this girl.” Oh, and the “this girl” also deteriorates the straightforward truth, by de-personalizing the girl, into just a random, cast off person. Therefore making it easier to be said no to. Even though, you never really got a “no”, you are then supposed to surmise, assume and recognize, that “um, this girl” that they are “kind of dating” means that they are exclusive, and therefore they do not want to go out with you. Whew!
*The comments and feelings mentioned in this post are not meant to judge, accuse, resent or show anger or hostility toward we or they, “the speaker”. These lines were merely used for illustrative purposes only. But you probably already surmised that…