A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern".
And other quotes from Bash.org
If I were a Greek god, my name would be Testicles
Intelligence is alcohol soluble.
Kentucky Freud Chicken
It's Mother-fuckin' good.
Bad grammar makes me [sic].
Okay, this is the *only* right answer to the question "Do You Think I'm Fat?":
"No, because if you were fat I'd leave you."
I got in a car accident on the way home from work.
I rear-ended someone.
Guy gets out of his car; I get out of mine. He's a dwarf.
We're sitting there waiting for the police to arrive and he goes, "I'm not happy."
I said, "so which one are you?"