Reading 4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane
I was waiting for Michael in the hospital - nothing serious, just a waste of our fecking time - while I read 4.48 Psychosis and took these notes:
+++ "It's not your fault. But you have to take responsibility for your own actions." Hardy har har.
+++ "...fuck you God for making me love a person who does not exist..." We hear a lot about this person whom they may never see, speak to, or kiss. Mulling over this, I came upon the subject of soulmates. Since childhood, we're often told about finding one's Prince Charming or soulmate. Everyone has a someone with whom you're fated to meet. You're meant for one another.
Well, if there is a person we are destined to be with, then surely we are uniquely designed for one another. If this is the case, then there is typically a list of requirements so you'll know when you meet them. Such as... he must love dogs, be taller than myself, have a full head of hair and green eyes. (If you haven't done this yourself, then you at least know someone who has.)
Our heads filled with the image of the ideal, we do not see what is right in front of us. Perhaps we're so blinded by the idea of someone that we do not learn who they truly are until you're fighting tooth and nail over who will own that fancy vase you got on your wedding day.
I'm so glad that I've never believed in soulmates.
+++ They do not wish to die, but living a life of lies is no alternative. The drugs were certainly no help, but rather made things worse.
+++ "It is myself I have never met, whose face is pasted on the underside of my mind." Is the love we wish for most of all the love for oneself? People constantly seek the approval of others because they feel somehow inadequate. But even if one were to love oneself, it's impossible to reciprocate between one. (Think back to the Narcissus myth, where his reflection would ripple and disappear at his own touch.)
+++ "It's not your fault. But you have to take responsibility for your own actions." Hardy har har.
+++ "...fuck you God for making me love a person who does not exist..." We hear a lot about this person whom they may never see, speak to, or kiss. Mulling over this, I came upon the subject of soulmates. Since childhood, we're often told about finding one's Prince Charming or soulmate. Everyone has a someone with whom you're fated to meet. You're meant for one another.
Well, if there is a person we are destined to be with, then surely we are uniquely designed for one another. If this is the case, then there is typically a list of requirements so you'll know when you meet them. Such as... he must love dogs, be taller than myself, have a full head of hair and green eyes. (If you haven't done this yourself, then you at least know someone who has.)
Our heads filled with the image of the ideal, we do not see what is right in front of us. Perhaps we're so blinded by the idea of someone that we do not learn who they truly are until you're fighting tooth and nail over who will own that fancy vase you got on your wedding day.
I'm so glad that I've never believed in soulmates.
+++ They do not wish to die, but living a life of lies is no alternative. The drugs were certainly no help, but rather made things worse.
+++ "It is myself I have never met, whose face is pasted on the underside of my mind." Is the love we wish for most of all the love for oneself? People constantly seek the approval of others because they feel somehow inadequate. But even if one were to love oneself, it's impossible to reciprocate between one. (Think back to the Narcissus myth, where his reflection would ripple and disappear at his own touch.)