Wake up calls at work
I was working with Joyce and Kelly tonight and one of the service desk people came over to us and showed Joyce a little note. Apparently the son of our retired 2nd shift manager Dennis had committed suicide this morning. Joyce was very upset and so was the service desk lady. When Kelly came over and we told her the news, she was also upset. Less so after she realized she misunderstood and it wasn't Dennis who had died. But Joyce stood there with us and talked about how much Dennis loved his kids and grandkids and something about nature walks all while wiping tears off her face and it really struck a chord with me. It's so hard to think straight when I'm at the bottom of the well like this, but her distraught reaction reminds me that the people in my life would be so terribly hurt if I removed myself in that way. I've just kind of been thinking about it all night. It's a tragedy to be sure, and I have so much sympathy for Dennis, but I'm grateful that something like this happened to remind me of what it would do to my family and friends. I also have a pretty firm resolution to call the doctor in the morning. I'm done waiting for this to dissipate on its own. I'm getting help.