SPN Poem: Amnesia, Gen, G

[desertport]

Title: Amnesia
Author: Port
Rating: G
Pairing: Lisa/Dean
Notes: I keep writing poetry! I think it's because lately my plot ideas are less plotty than atmospheric and contemplative. Here's one suggested by smilla02, she of the awesome prompt suggestions. Thanks go to fannishliss for the beta. She is the reason the second draft is so different from the first, and in my

Comments

[snickfic]

This is beautiful! The image of Lisa's memory as something that comes and goes with breath, like Dean's so fundamental to her now that he's the air she breathes - that's lovely. Plus I love seeing someone use Lisa's yoga background in such an organic way.

And this, this seems very true of Lisa:
She’s not a woman to imagine ideals.
She knew a man. He was warm and
held her in bed.

She's pragmatic, a realist, and she knows herself, what she is and is not likely to do.

Very, very neat.

[desertport]

Thank you for this lovely comment. I wanted to show Lisa being strong and smart after what happened to her and Ben, and her yoga background seemed like a good way to show her being deeply connected to herself--and to Dean. ♥

[smilla02]

Fuck, hon. You made me cry. This is all I waned from Lisa post-mind wipe. The sense that something is missing in her life. And you got such a beautiful Lisa-voice, too. Her sense that she can conquer this feels very Lisa-like:

Air is a wonder, a gift, a revival.
He visits on the inhale.
One day, he’ll stay when she lets go.

♥!

[desertport]

And you got such a beautiful Lisa-voice, too.

Thank you, bb! Her strength really spoke to me through writing this. I'm so happy you liked it!

[amberdreams]

Breath is such a strong thing to use, perfect for these moments where she is on the cusp of remembering. Lovely!

[desertport]

It's important not to forget Lisa is/was a yoga instructor. She was very close to the art of breathing. Thank you so much for this comment!

[spankulert]

Inhale: he visits, and grief, his friend,
embraces her with cold, skeletal arms
about her ribs.

This is beautiful ♥

[desertport]

Thank you!